Posted on 05/11/2014 3:36:30 PM PDT by NYer
To any guilt-prone women, the annual idealization of motherhood that sweeps across the country at this time of year can be agonizing.
The image in the mirror seems less qualified, less nurturing, less altruistic, less crafty, less organized, less patient, less self-assured or wise or adventurous than the one these moms see portrayed in greeting cards, TV ads, and on YouTube.
But Mother’s Day may be most painful to Bible-believing women — whether Mormon, Catholic, Protestant or Jewish — who cannot have children.
After all, God’s first commandment to the first couple in that holy book was to “multiply and replenish the Earth.”
Motherhood, the LDS Church declared this week on its website, is “the highest, holiest service assumed by humankind. It’s the definition of selfless service. It’s both a daunting responsibility and a glorious opportunity. The divine role of motherhood is a gift from God, and key to his plan of happiness for all his children.”
Biblical tales of “barren” women abound, but they all end up with babies (sometimes becoming mothers in their old age, but still…). And church magazines about infertility typically end with “miracle babies.”
Nearly 11 percent of women in the United States ages 15 to 44 — 6.7 million — have “impaired fecundity” (impaired ability to get pregnant or carry a baby to term), according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Some of them may eventually become mothers by marriage, medicine or adoption, but until then, many feel ashamed, frustrated and excluded. For others, childlessness becomes lifelong.
Is infertility, then, a failure of faith? A religious test? A shirking of sacred responsibilities? Or are churches wrong to hold up motherhood as the apex of a woman’s life?
Regardless of doctrinal particulars or practice, many religious women facing childlessness go through a set of stages similar to any sort of grief — including denial, blame, anger, bargaining, depression and, finally, acceptance.
While churches can make it tough by discouraging medical procedures such as artificial insemination, in vitro fertilization or surrogacy, they also can offer solace for sorrow.
Infertile Catholics and Mormons, in particular, draw differing lessons from their faiths’ pronouncements on the importance of motherhood.
Ping!
It’s biblical to care for orphans, too.
YOu don’t have to give birth, you have to mother someone.. I got more mothering from my grandmother than I ever got from my mother.
Nice story!
I’ve never had children. I feel no pain from it. I enjoy painting. Today I am repairing the tile in my kitchen and then will probably work on a painting.
Not everyone is the same.
The article started out good then fell to pieces the moment they lumped Christians with a religious cult like Mormonism. I'm less offended with the Jewish reference, as at least they aren't a religious cult, but they also won't be seeing heaven any time soon until they convert.
Oops! Bitter mother story! I can relate, lol!
I am not a victim. God saw to it that I could NOT have children. I won’t be labeled by this author.
I have taken care of myself—taken care of all my small & large animals—and don’t expect anyone else to do anything such for me while I cry with self-indulgence.
Thank you. I, also, have never had children. I enjoy other people’s children. I’m happy for parents who raise their children in loving, godly homes. I’m a little annoyed at people in different circumstances who try to make others feel guilty for having happy families and intact lives.
Well said. And thank you for taking care of the animals.
Meh. Never could have my own kids, but I raised three boys from 3, 4 & 5 to adulthood - my Step Son and his two cousins who had lousy parents. I have never ONCE felt that I ‘missed something’ in life.
God puts you where you’re needed, when He needs you. :)
Check out Rachael's Vineyard -- a weekend for grief recovery from an abortion.
If I’m not supposed to be replying to this article, just delete it. Well, truthfully, the horrible shape this world is getting in; I’m thinking maybe bringing a bunch of children into it might not be all that great a thing. The apostles didn’t seem to be pushing marrying and having big families all that much. This doesn’t mean that abortion is desirable either. If the end of the age was upon them way back then; imagine how far into the night we are at this juncture.
I called a friend, who has no children, and wished
her a happy Aunt’s Day.
Basically, I see it as a day set aside for woman
who just LOVE children...
I had to raise my daughter as a single parent after my wife died young. I have tried to impart on her that adoption is a great thing. There are plenty of kids already in the world who need parents and to bring new life in, while this mess is so out of control, to me seems like a bad idea for everyone.
To each their own of course, but IMO, family is not nor ever was about accidents or even ‘plans’ of birth. It is what one makes it with whoever one chooses to make it. Millions of adopted families testify to the truth of it.
With reference to your post 5, Mrs. OldPossum feels the same way. We chose to not have children (for several good reasons, which are added to by the social developments in recent times) and we’ve been married for 43 years and not once have there be any regrets.
As you say, not everyone is the same.
P.S. She also is an artist, having graduated from a premiere art school. She was an art teacher for 35 years.
Not so fast ; - ) My mother turned 16 one month before my birth. Though it was illegal in the US at that time, the family offered to send her to Puerto Rico to obtain an abortion. She has always been a defiant soul and refused their offer. I was born in the "unwed mothers" ward of a city hospital. The other women, encouraged by staff, relinquished their children to adoption. My mother remained defiant and refused the offer. Back then, for an unwed mother to retain their child, they had to provide financial support. She dropped out of school, placed me temporarily in foster care and set off in search of a f/t job. During that time, she visited me daily. Three months later, her parents relocated to a new neighborhood, she landed a f/t position and I was brought home. God bless her for her defiant nature but, more especially, the gift of life. Happy Mother's Day Mom!
>>With reference to your post 5, Mrs. OldPossum feels the same way. We chose to not have children (for several good reasons, which are added to by the social developments in recent times) and we’ve been married for 43 years and not once have there be any regrets.<<
Many people choose to remain child-free. Mrs. FD doesn’t feel any particular angst on Mother’s Day except it reminds of our “children” — our kitties who gave us more love in their 18 and 25 year lives than most people ever give.
Those of you who wish to describe to me the “joy” of child-bearing and -rearing, you are describing eyesight to the blind. Whatever “it” is that makes people say “I want children,” we don’t have “it.” The fact we married in our late 30s — MUCH after reasonably safe child-bearing age — had something to do with it as well.
But if any of you people with children want advice about raising your children, I have a TON of it for you! (that is a LOL btw).
PS: We do support 2 children through ChildFund and track their progress closely.
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