Posted on 01/05/2014 6:12:56 PM PST by Colofornian
...Many today use innuendo, outright lies and other forms of deception to confuse and divide in order to control followers...
The end result?...About 80% of the Church succumbed to lies and deceit, and either followed Joe Tkach or went home in confusion...-most...became “lost to history,” spiritually dying where they sat. The remaining 20% fell into following various bickering, disagreeing splinter leaders teaching selected—preferred!—parts of the truth...
Fast forward to 1993-1998, to sample one splinter. An evangelist (Roderick Meredith) arose and came to power in the Global Church of God. This second new leader also promised...he would uphold the truth as the Church “understood it...” at Mr. Armstrong’s death. Yet he began almost immediately teaching numerous false doctrines—many of them big...Again, all of this happened on top of shocking revelations about his personal character...
The end result?...About 80% of the Church succumbed to lies and deceit, and either followed Rod Meredith or went home in confusion...
There were always—always—wolves in sheep’s clothing around Herbert W. Armstrong. Do you doubt this?...he reported in his autobiography about how often leaders and others stabbed him in the back and betrayed him all through his Oregon years. This pattern never really ended as the next 40 years continued. Have you forgotten how many top ministers and administrators completely fell away after his death?...other once top ministers and administrators have severely compromised his teachings since his death? Obviously, this has also been true of scores of thousands of former WCG members...
Some say Mr. Armstrong would not do what I am doing. I say he would! If I could, I would write every member in LCG, UCG, COGwa, PCG, and every other splinter and sliver, about the literally hundreds of wolves who are lying (doctrinally) to them from pulpits in the name of Herbert W. Armstrong...
(Excerpt) Read more at rcg.org ...
Accusation follows accusation. And these leaders specialize in pulling out Matthew 7 to accuse one another of being "wolves":
From this excerpt: There were always—always—wolves in sheep’s clothing around Herbert W. Armstrong. Do you doubt this?...he reported in his autobiography about how often leaders and others stabbed him in the back and betrayed him all through his Oregon years. This pattern never really ended as the next 40 years continued. Have you forgotten how many top ministers and administrators completely fell away after his death? ...other once top ministers and administrators have severely compromised his teachings since his death? Obviously, this has also been true of scores of thousands of former WCG members...Some say Mr. Armstrong would not do what I am doing. I say he would! If I could, I would write every member in LCG, UCG, COGwa, PCG, and every other splinter and sliver, about the literally hundreds of wolves who are lying (doctrinally) to them from pulpits in the name of Herbert W. Armstrong."
And this piece's accusations -- beyond calling "hundreds of wolves...from pulpits" within these off-shoots alone -- go on and on...to the digital word count of 21,352 words! (per a digital word count tool)
This particular attack-mode near book project length emerged from the "Restored Church of God" sliver off-shoots at the hands of its leader, David C. Pack. This excerpt isn't even 1.5% of this article!
So what conclusions can we draw?
#1 Herbert W. Armstrong's spin-off group leaders are trigger-happy in putting the absolute worst spin on others with their "wolves" accusations. (And certainly, their members absorb a "model" of how to do the same)
#2 It's certainly possible -- even likely -- that part of what leaders like David C. Pack is saying is true...at least about the others beyond Joe Tkach, who is part of the Grace Communion International spin-off that went "orthodox"...Pack's claims about the other Worldwide Church of God leaders & their splinter leaders may be RIGHT on the mark...claims like:
From the excerpt:
* "...Many today use innuendo, outright lies and other forms of deception to confuse and divide in order to control followers..."
* "remaining 20%" [that either didn't "go orthodox" with Tkach's group or didn't die on the vine of Armstrong's church then and there] "fell into following various bickering, disagreeing splinter leaders teaching selected—preferred!—parts of the truth..."
* That "...(Roderick Meredith)... began almost immediately teaching numerous false doctrines—many of them big...Again, all of this happened on top of shocking revelations about his personal character...The end result?...About 80% of the Church succumbed to lies and deceit, and either followed Rod Meredith or went home in confusion..."
* And that "There were always—always—wolves in sheep’s clothing around Herbert W. Armstrong. Do you doubt this?...he reported in his autobiography about how often leaders and others stabbed him in the back and betrayed him all through his Oregon years. This pattern never really ended as the next 40 years continued. Have you forgotten how many top ministers and administrators completely fell away after his death? ...other once top ministers and administrators have severely compromised his teachings since his death? Obviously, this has also been true of scores of thousands of former WCG members..."
* "If I could, I would write every member in LCG, UCG, COGwa, PCG, and every other splinter and sliver, about the literally hundreds of wolves who are lying (doctrinally) to them from pulpits in the name of Herbert W. Armstrong..."
So there ya go. Direct from the "restored 'prophet's'" mouth!
*****
An "acronym" "help" in this piece...I know this can be "dizzying"...but stick with me...at least I'm not listing the over 300 splinter groups/churches that came about between the late 1980s and beyond:
* WCG = Worldwide Church of God...this was the name under Herbert W. Armstrong's Pasadena, CA cult-based group...that continued for a few years "as is" beyond his January 1986 death ... See Worldwide Church of God: Christian or Cult?
* UCG = United Church of God ... one of the more prominent cults emerging from the break-up...See What You Should Know About United Church of God-AIA
* LCG = Living Church of God [See Living Church of God and How LCG’s Teachings Differ From Those of Mr. Armstrong and The Restored Church of God
* PCG = Philadelphia Church of God See What is the Philadelphia Church of God? and Philadelphia Church of God
* COGwa = Church of God Worldwide Association This is a 2nd-generational split -- one from the UCG group above -- that's only three years old: See Church of God, a Worldwide Association -- where it mentions that "over half of the employed [UCG] ministers resigned" to form this group. And, of course, that leads to "tough" wolf-stealing questions they now ask like: Should COGWA Members Proselytize UCG Members?
On its "About" page (what this group is "About"):
* 2 Corinthians 10:3-5:
"3 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to DEMOLISH STRONGHOLDS. 5 We DEMOLISH ARGUMENTS AND EVERY PRETENSION THAT SETS ITSELF UP AGAINST THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOD, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
* Jude 3:
"...I felt compelled to write and urge you to CONTEND for the faith that was once for all entrusted to God’s holy people."
For five other “marks of a cult” – see last post:
You May Be Shocked at God’s answer…Should You Trust “God’s Ministers”? [Cultist: 'Ravenous wolves']
And again, here is the "Acronym Helper" on this:
An "acronym" "help" in this piece...I know this can be "dizzying"...but stick with me...at least I'm not listing the over 300 splinter groups/churches that came about between the late 1980s and beyond:
* WCG = Worldwide Church of God...this was the name under Herbert W. Armstrong's Pasadena, CA cult-based group...that continued for a few years "as is" beyond his January 1986 death ... See Worldwide Church of God: Christian or Cult?
* UCG = United Church of God ... one of the more prominent cults emerging from the break-up...See What You Should Know About United Church of God-AIA
* LCG = Living Church of God [See Living Church of God and How LCG’s Teachings Differ From Those of Mr. Armstrong and The Restored Church of God
* PCG = Philadelphia Church of God See What is the Philadelphia Church of God? and Philadelphia Church of God
* COGwa = Church of God Worldwide Association This is a 2nd-generational split -- one from the UCG group above -- that's only three years old: See Church of God, a Worldwide Association -- where it mentions that "over half of the employed [UCG] ministers resigned" to form this group. And, of course, that leads to "tough" wolf-stealing questions they now ask like: Should COGWA Members Proselytize UCG Members?
* UCG = United Church of God ... one of the more prominent cults emerging from the break-up...See What You Should Know About United Church of God-AIA
***Eventually, Douglas, one of these splinter groups will be your very own and you can defend your beliefs on such a thread.
And: ...LCG
LCG = Living Church of God, one of the major splinter groups:
From an exit and support group for former Armstrongites: March 12, 2005: 'Eight Dead in Living Church of God Shooting Spree!
Kevmo,we'll make it a caucus thread just to keep you out. ))))
.... Then .... There can only be only one church that the Lord will lend an ear to?
Just an excellent, excellent, excellent and highly relevant Q to this thread!!!! (Thanks for asking)
I'm going to answer that from SEVERAL different angles:
One angle will be to cite from David C. Pack's digital book -- found here -- David C. Pack, The True Church: One Organization, or Many? Various Chapter Excerpts -- since he is both the thread post author AND he's pretty forward in citing Herbert W. Armstrong quite a bit...therefore you'll get a "Restored Church of God" splinter church view along with Armstrongs....
Pack also cites Grace Communion Intl in chapter 5 of his digital book (Joe Tkach's mainstream group which emerged from Worldwide Church of God and took their group into Christian orthodoxy).
Before I cite them, allow me to state a key view of my own:
The Body of Christ is an living organism...
...(versus Armstrong's view that the Church is an organization)....
...operating as a collective temple of the Holy Spirit.
No one person or one organization operates as the sole host of the Holy Spirit. Even Herbert W. Armstrong taught that...it's just that Armstrong also taught that nobody converted -- having received the Holy Spirit -- outside of a Pasadena Headquartered Church could forever remain outside of it. He taught, per Pack, that such a person would have to be integrated into the Armstrong church.
On that point, I vociferously disagree.
I've quoted Armstrong/Pack on this point here: Post #489
Quotes from Pack's book:
* “There is no question that we are God’s true Church. The point I have made is that we are not all there is to God’s true Church. There is a monumental difference in those two statements.”
* “As you know, in my speaking and writing I have often commented that we cannot limit where and with whom God works when it comes to other Christian churches.”
* “…the true Church of God is not limited to any corporate entity nor any human organization.”
* “The true Church of God consists of converted people, all people who have the Holy Spirit. That is a point Mr. Armstrong frequently stressed. As he explained, it is not…the incorporated organization that constitutes the Church of God. It is the people in whom God dwells by his Spirit that makes up the Church, the Body of Christ.”
* "Therefore, we should understand that we do not form all there is of the true Church of God.”
* "It is not correct to say that any particular church organization, including ours, is, of and by itself, the true Church.” Joseph W. Tkach, Letter to Ministry, PGR, April 26, 1994...
* "There is only one Church of God, not many. That one Church is made up of every person who has the Holy Spirit, regardless of where they are, when they lived, or what organization they belong to.” Joseph W. Tkach, letter to WCG field minister, Spring 1994
* "“Do [we] claim to be the one true Church?” “The one ‘true’ Church is the Body of Christ, made up of all believers who are called by God and in whom the Holy Spirit abides. It is not limited to corporate entities or any single church organization. God works where he wills, and it is not the place of any church to limit God’s work to itself (Mark 9:38-40).” We’re Often Asked, 1994
[My note: IoW, Armstrong IS the lone "chosen apostle"...therefore, the entire worldwide umbrella of Jesus Church was supposed to be ONLY under Armstrong!...this is also reiterated in the next quote]
* "Finally, Mr. Armstrong wrote the following in a quote cited previously. It answers in a single statement all pertinent questions about how to identify where God’s tithes should go:
“In an effort to mislead and draw away God’s people and tithes, the misleading idea is now being circulated that this MAN (not Church) also preaches the Gospel. So, why not divide your tithe, sending half to the man and half to God’s CHURCH—or else send it alternately to each.”
"...“2) God has only ONE Church, and that Church has a few hundred local congregations worldwide, all a PART—and an integral working part—of the ONE spiritual organism, the Worldwide Church of God…Jesus Christ does not HEAD, guide and work in any competing man or church. Christ IS NOT DIVIDED! Christ’s Body is led on earth, UNDER HIM, by His chosen apostle whom HE appointed and used in BUILDING His Church in our time. God’s TRUE Church is performing the FUNCTION of the Church—carrying Christ’s Gospel message to all the world."
* "This is the final time you will hear from Mr. Armstrong. Note well his words. The publication date—1954!—shows how long ago these points were believed by Mr. Armstrong and understood in the WCG. Time has not changed their application. Notice how the word “enemy” and the term “serving the devil” come into use:
Last post I attempted to give documented "representative" types of responses depending upon distinct factions of the Worldwide Church of God's splinter groups; upon Armstrong himself; and then I inserted a few of my own views...
This post, I'll attempt to expand upon this with a bit with a Scripturally based FAQ; more commentary; a little paraphrasing, -- and steer clear from exact citations like last post -- other than citing Scriptural references, of course.
Q: You asked: "...the Lord will do his mighty works through the chosen 'One True Church'"
A. First, Scriptures on the subject:
* "Because there is one loaf, we, who are many, are one body, for we all share the one loaf." (1 Cor. 10:17)
* "There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called" (Eph. 4:4)
* "Is Christ divided? (1 Cor. 1:13)
Obvious conclusion: ONLY One Body exists; yet just as we have ONLY One God, we also have a diverse God (3) within the One. Likewise, the following tends to be the lynchpin failure of those who insist that they alone are the "only church on the face of the earth" (like the Mormons do; see Lds Doctrine & Covenants 1:30; the Armstrongites did this as well, though Grace Communion Intl, the official inheritors of the Worldwide Church of God, have moved away from that position).
Q. Therefore, is "the Body" One -- or is it multiple?
A.
Key verses on this to consider:
* "As it is, there are many parts, but one body." (1 Cor. 12:20; cf. vv. 22, 24)
* "Now YOU [plural] "are the body of Christ, and EACH ONE OF YOU [singular] is a part of it." (1 Cor. 12:27)
Do we see how the apostle Paul there framed the Church as both...
...plural and singular?
...multiple parts, yet still one body?
...and personal vs. the impersonal "it" references you see used by the Armstrongites in the last post?
Q: In the last post, the Armstrongites also kept referencing the Church as a "place"; is that correct? Is there anything "off-kilter" to such thinking?
A: Off-kilter? No. But with a key qualifier here: The New Testament references the "church IN Jerusalem" (Acts 11:22); the "church in Cenchreae" (Rom. 16:1); "the church at Antioch" (Acts 13:1); "the church of God in Corinth" (1 Cor. 1:2; 2 Cor. 1:1); the "church of the Laodiceans" (Col. 4:16); the "church of the Thessalonians" (2 Th. 1:1); and the seven churches in seven geographic locations in Rev. 1; Rev. 2; and Rev. 3. So, in this sense, the local church in each place is a "place."
However, if you look closely at David C. Pack's comments in the last post, the Armstrongites reduce the Church to...
...an organizationally headquartered church;
...-- an "it" vs. a personal organism;
...and claim it's the ONLY "place" where God's work is present...thereby limiting God so that its organization becomes THE LONE filter or mousetrap thru which God operates. In this way, the Armstrong and Joseph Smith claims are mutually exclusive: They EACH claimed to be the ONLY such mousetrap on the face of the earth.
Q: Does the Church have to be Headquartered in Pasadena (like Armstrong said it does); Salt Lake City (like the Mormons say it does); or Rome (like the Catholics say it does)?
A: No. "Where two ore three are gathered in My Name, THERE I am among them." (Matthew 18:20) Wherever Christ the Head of the Church is (Eph. 1:22; 4:15; 5:23; Col. 2:19), there she is "headquartered." (And we know Christ is omnipresent!)
Q: Is an "apostle" -- like Herbert W. Armstrong -- or a Mormon "prophet" -- or a Roman Catholic Pope the "head" of the "one body?"
A: No, Christ is: "And he is the head of the body, the church" (Col. 1:18) (And He promised to be with us always, even unto the end of the age -- Matt. 28:20)
Q. You asked: ".... Then .... There can only be only one church that the Lord will lend an ear to?"
A: Most cults like the Mormons and Armstrongites don't talk as much as God not hearing other "churches" as they do more man not hearing God unless the new revelations or authority/governance comes down thru either the respective Mormon "prophet" or Armstrong "chosen apostle."
Q. You asked: "Am I to understand that all other churches and beliefs are evil and wrong...?"
A. The Mormons try to "soft-pedal" their edict that all other churches have apostatized from Christ by referencing their authoritylessness to act on behalf of God. With the Armstrong splinter groups, they are as vicious as possible in what they label OTHER splinter groups, and the name-calling went on well before that when Protestants, Catholics, and Orthodox were more of their previous targets.
Please note: Cults like this one gives lip service to Christ being "The Head of the Church," but at best its a "figurehead" role...
We even see that within this very article that this thread is built upon when Pack says pulpits are mounted "in the name of Herbert W. Armstrong." That tells you enough that Jesus has been replaced completely at the practical level by Armstrong.
This is also true in the Mormon Church. See the "keyword" Smithmas with the recent December 2013 FR "Smithmas series" for documentation of how Joseph Smith usurps Jesus Christ in the Lds church.
They do so by misusing Scripture; much like Satan did when tempting Jesus in the wilderness.
If that doesn't work; then SOME folks WRITE 'scripture' to try to achieve their ends!
|
THE
DOCTRINE AND COVENANTS OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS SECTION 132
51–57, Emma Smith is counseled (commanded) to be faithful and true; 58–66, Laws governing the plurality of wives are set forth.
51 Verily, I say unto you: A commandment I give unto mine handmaid, Emma Smith, your wife, whom I have given unto you, that she stay herself and partake not of that which I commanded you to offer unto her; for I did it, saith the Lord, to aprove you all, as I did Abraham, and that I might require an offering at your hand, by covenant and sacrifice.
52 And let mine handmaid, Emma Smith, areceive all those that have been given unto my servant Joseph, and who are virtuous and pure before me; and those who are not pure, and have said they were pure, shall be destroyed, saith the Lord God.
53 For I am the Lord thy God, and ye shall obey my voice; and I give unto my servant Joseph that he shall be made ruler over many things; for he hath been afaithful over a few things, and from henceforth I will strengthen him.
55 But if she will not abide this commandment, then shall my servant Joseph do all things for her, even as he hath said; and I will bless him and multiply him and give unto him an ahundredfold in this world, of fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, houses and lands, wives and children, and crowns of beternal lives in the eternal worlds.
|
THEN his 'church' would have continued more successfully...
Or maybe not...
How do members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints feel about calling the members of its various spin-off sects Latter-Day Saints, Christians, or Mormons? Or about those sects calling themselves Mormons or Latter-Day Saints? (There was an earlier campaign by LDS to have journalism style books use the word “Mormon” to refer only to LDS, and not RLDS, FLDS, or other LDS sects).
For a man who bragged about holding things together, Joseph Smith, Jr. doesn’t appear go have done a good job of it during his lifetime. Wycam Clark’s “Pure Church of Christ” spun off in 1831. This trend continued. There were six LDS sects spawned in the 1830s, eight in the 1840s, two in the 1850s, and seven in the 1860s.
Do those responsible for the “Mormons are Christians” campaign consider these denominations to be Mormons or Latter-Day Saints? Surely many of these denominations are much closer to mainstream LDS than LDS is to Christianity. Many stick to Smith’s teachings and old temple endowment ceremonies.
Short Creek Community
Latter Day Church of Christ
Apostolic United Brethren
Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
Church of the Firstborn of the Fulness [sic] of Times
Church of the Lamb of God
Church of the New Covenant in Christ
Confederate Nations of Israel
Righteous Branch of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
School of the Prophets
Centennial Park
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the Kingdom of God
True and Living Church of Jesus Christ of Saints of the Last Days
The Church of the Firstborn and the General Assembly of HeavenBlackmore/Bountiful Community
Restoration Church of Jesus Christ
Order of Enoch
Aaronic Order
Zion’s Order, Inc.
Perfected Church of Jesus Christ of Immaculate Latter-day Saints
Church of Jesus Christ (Bullaite)
Community of Christ
Church of Jesus Christ (Toneyite)
Independent RLDS / Restoration Branches
Church of Jesus Christ Restored 1830
Church of Christ (Lion of God Ministry/Clarkite)
Church of Jesus Christ (Zion’s Branch)
Restoration Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
Remnant Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
Church of Christ (Temple Lot) (Hedrickite)
Church of Christ (Fettingite) (Hedrickite)
Church of Christ at Halley’s Bluff (Hedrickite)
Church of Christ (Restored) (Hedrickite)
Church of Christ “With the Elijah Message” (Hedrickite)
Church of Christ (Hancock) (Hedrickite)
Church of Christ (Burtite) (Hendrickite)
Church of Israel (Hendrickite)
Church of Christ with the Elijah Message (The Assured Way of the Lord) (Hendrickite)
The Church of Jesus Christ (Bickertonite)
Church of Jesus Christ (Cutlerite)
True Church of Jesus Christ (Cutlerite)
Restored Church of Jesus Christ (Cutlerite)
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Strangite)
Holy Church of Jesus Christ (Strangite)
Church of Jesus Christ (Drewite) (Strangite)
True Church of Jesus Christ Restored (Strangite)
Pentecostal Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Whitmerite)
Or these defunct sects:
Pure Church of Christ (Clarkite)
Independent Church (Hotonite)
Church of Christ (Boothite)
Church of Christ (Parrishite)
Alston Church
Church of Christ (Chubbyite)
Church of Jesus Christ, the Bride, the Lamb’s Wife
Church of Christ (Pageite)
True Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (this one was particularly curious - started by William Law, editor of The Nauvoo Expositor, just one of many sects started in opposition to plural marriage)
The Church of Zion (Godbeite)
United Order Family of Christ
Church of the Potter Christ
Church of the Firstborn (Morrisite)
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Gibsonite)
Church of Jesus Christ of Saints of the Most High
Church of the Christian Brotherhood
Church of Jesus Christ of the Children of Zion (Rigdonite) Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ (Bickertonite)
Primative Church of Jesus Christ (Bickertonite)
Church of Christ (Aaron Smith)
Church of the Messiah (Adamsite)
Church of Christ (Wrightite)
Church of Christ (Whitmerite)
Church of Christ (Brewsterite)
The Bride, the Lamb’s Wife
Congregation of Jehovah’s Presbytery of Zion
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Gladdenite)
Independent Latter Day Saints of Nigeria
Independent Latter Day Saints of Ghana
Apostolic Divine Church of Ghana
Are members of those LDS groups “Mormons”? “Latter Day Saints?” “Christians?”
Do the folks in Salt Lake City have a problem with any of those groups, who believe in the restoration of the original church by Joseph Smith, calling themselves Mormons or Saints?
Most of these divisions in the Latter-Day Saint movement occurred over the issue of polygamy or succession of the Prophet. Sects broke off when Joseph Smith was still alive, and when Brigham Young was named prophet, because they didn’t believe in the practice of plural marriage – either publicly, or in some cases when it was practiced in private and denied in public.
Of course, there was the great split between Rocky Mountain Saints and Prairie Saints, when LDS members couldn’t agree on a successor prophet to Smith, Jr., and the church went to Utah, Missouri, Illinois, Michigan, and Pennsylvania under Brigham Young, Sidney Rigdon (senior member of the First Presidency), James Strang, Lyman Wight, Alpheus Cutler, William Smith, David Whitmer (a BOM witness), or Joseph Smith III (son of Joseph Smith, Jr.). Almost all of these individuals still has multiple sects in existence that date to an 1844 decision about who should be the next President/Prophet of the church.
The Prairie Saints split into sects over the issue of whether Smith practiced polygamy. Rocky Mountain Saints had many, many spinoff sects after the 1890 Manifesto – groups that still practice plural marriage.
======================================================================================================================================================
Thanks to ScoutMaster for all the hard work here!
JESUS: Hey Smith! Remember that boast you made about doing more than even I had done to hold the 'church' together?
JOSEPH SMITH: Where am I?
JESUS: Don't you remember? A few seconds ago you were in that jail.
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh; yeah; but where am I NOW?
JESUS: Don't you remember? Does bang - bang ring a bell?
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh; yeah - that crummy gun I had was about USELESS!
JESUS: I hope you left instructions on how to hold your church together.
JOSEPH SMITH: Dang! I knew there was SOMETHING I was forgetting!
JESUS: Looks like there's a power struggle going on down there.
JOSEPH SMITH: Yeah; there was always SOMEone who wanted the power that I held - especially over the LADIES - wink wink.
JESUS: No need to worry about that now; remember what my friend Matthew wrote down?
JOSEPH SMITH: This? “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30)
JESUS: That's it.
JOSEPH SMITH: I thought that was mistranslated.
JESUS: Nah - it was right.
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh well; it was fun while it lasted. My buds will still get it on with the girls.
JESUS: Uh; I'm sorry; in just a few more years; your followers will cavein to the United States government and abandon the 'Eternal Covenant' that you came up with.
JOSEPH SMITH: ME!? YOU are the one that told me to do that!
JESUS: Sorry; but you must have mistranslated what I told you. What part of Do NOT commit ADULTERY did you not understand?
JOSEPH SMITH: mumble....
JESUS: What did you say?
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh, nothing.
JESUS: Well; it was interesting talking to you; but now I must get back to perparing a place for those who believe in Me.
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh, yeah; the Celestial Kingdom.
JESUS: No...
JOSEPH SMITH: The Telestial one?
JESUS: Nope.
JOSEPH SMITH: SUREly not the TERRESTRIAL one!!
JESUS: Nope. Didn't you read that the mind of man had NOT conceived of it? Paul wrote it down in 1 Corinthians 2:9.
JOSEPH SMITH: I thought that was mistranslated.
JESUS: No; it wasn't.
JOSEPH SMITH: You SURE?
JESUS: Yes. Now I must be going: what did you say your name was again?
JOSEPH SMITH: Joseph Smith.
JESUS: Hmmmm. According to my Heavenly FAITHbook, you didn't sign in as one of my friends - sorry, I never knew you.
JOSEPH SMITH: But....
And such would be your right. It is interesting that FR allows a [heresy] tag on religious threads.
It’s just a comment, not a label like a caucus or ecumenical thread.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
