Conservative Christians Tackle Divorce, The 'Other' Marriage Crisis

Poitics Daily ^ | October 3, 2010 | David Gibson

[Mrs. Don-o]

While the campaign by social conservatives against gay marriage has grabbed headlines and consumed millions of lobbying dollars from religious groups, the wider crisis of divorce among straight couples -- especially evangelicals and often their leaders and political icons -- has been largely ignored by Christian conservatives.

That may be changing, however, with the latest evidence coming in a powerful essay published on Sept. 29 titled "Divorce -- The Scandal of the Evangelical Conscience," by R. Albert Mohler, Jr., president of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and one of the most prominent conservative Christian voices in America.

In the column on his website, Mohler reiterates that the fight against abortion remains a priority, and that battling same-sex marriage "demands our attention and involvement as well."

"But," he continues, "divorce harms many more lives than will be touched by homosexual marriage."

"The real scandal," Mohler writes, "is the fact that evangelical Protestants divorce at rates at least as high as the rest of the public. Needless to say, this creates a significant credibility crisis when evangelicals then rise to speak in defense of marriage."

The touchstone for Mohler's jeremiad is an essay by Mark A. Smith of the University of Washington titled, "Religion, Divorce, and the Missing Culture War in America," which was published in the Spring edition of Political Science Quarterly.

Smith, an associate professor of political science who is completing a book on religion and the culture war in America, writes that in the 1960s evangelicals and social conservatives accepted the reality of divorce like most Americans. That was well before no-fault divorce laws -- usually pinned as the culprit for the rising divorce rate -- took effect.

Moreover, even as the Religious Right organized in the 1970s and began notching political victories in the 1980s, divorce was virtually ignored while issues such as abortion, school prayer, the Equal Rights Amendment and other hot button topics were emphasized as the real threats to society.

This occurred even though, as Smith writes, divorce, which is clearly and strongly condemned in the Bible, was prevalent among conservative Christians. His findings show that 43 percent of evangelical Protestants divorce, higher than almost any other religious group and above the national average of 38 percent. (Other surveys show the divorce rate is highest in Red States and actually lowest in Blue States.)

Smith also notes that "divorce seems to carry a more direct connection to the daily realities of families than do the bellwether culture war issues of abortion and homosexuality."

Smith further argues that when divorce or strengthening marriage were mentioned by organizations associated with the Religious Right, it was in the context of private, spiritual improvement rather than the kind of public policy initiatives that were pushed as solutions to other problems. Occasional policy proposals to reduce divorce, such as the covenant marriage movement designed to pass laws mandating pre-marital counseling and make it more difficult for couples to divorce, drew little support from church leaders or members.

Smith also argued that excluding divorce as a priority reflected the political reality that to do otherwise would have alienated too many members of the Religious Right's constituency. All of these are conclusions Mohler does not dispute.

"That logic is an indictment of evangelical failure and a monumental scandal of the evangelical conscience," Mohler writes.

Mohler's focus on divorce is important because of his own bona fides as a Christian conservative and because it seems to reflect a debate about the future of evangelicalism and how to move beyond the political agenda of the Religious Right in order to affect society.

Certainly, the fight against gay marriage seems to be a losing battle in the culture wars, given that younger believers are far more gay-friendly than their parents and grandparents, and as pop icons like Christian music artist Jennifer Knapp come out of the closet.

"Ten years from now, the issue of same-sex marriage will probably no longer be on the table," says sociologist of religion D. Michael Lindsay, author of "Faith in the Halls of Power: How Evangelicals Joined the American Elite."

Moreover, the reality of divorce within conservative Christian communities is the elephant in the room that can no longer be ignored. At their annual meeting in Orlando this year, leaders of the Southern Baptist Convention -- the largest Protestant body in the United States with 16 million members -- adopted a resolution called, "On the Scandal of Southern Baptist Divorce."

Indeed, the problem of Christian divorce is growing larger as the evangelical profile against gay marriage gets higher.

"We cannot very well argue for the sanctity of marriage as a crucial social institution while we blithely go about divorcing and approving of remarriage at a rate that destabilizes marriage," Mark Galli, senior managing editor of Christianity Today, the flagship evangelical magazine, wrote in August after the court ruling invalidating Proposition 8, the California ballot measure banning gay marriage. "In short, we have been perfect hypocrites on this issue. Until we admit that, and take steps to amend our ways, our cries of alarm about gay marriage will echo off into oblivion."

In a roundtable response to the Prop 8 decision at Christianity Today's website, many of the 13 evangelical voices also argued that it was time for Christians to look after their own houses in order to truly change U.S. culture -- an argument also set forth in a recent book by sociologist James Davison Hunter, who coined the culture wars meme in the early 1990s.

Conservative pundits like Glenn Beck and Ann Coulter are pushing versions of that view as well, while traditional political champions of the Christian Right, like Mississippi's GOP Gov. Haley Barbour, Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels, also a Republican, and Texas Sen. John Cornyn, chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, have said the party should downplay culture war issues.

In his essay, Mohler offered no specific proposals -- either in terms of public policy or church-oriented programs -- to reverse the trends in divorce nationally or among Christians themselves. And it's highly unlikely that Christian conservatives are going to wave the white flag on gay marriage, or suddenly retreat into the enclave mentality that characterized fundamentalists after the Scopes "Monkey Trial" of 1925.

But the new focus on getting Christians to practice what they preach marks an important shift in the culture war front, and, if successful, could prove to be the most potent cultural argument evangelicals have ever deployed.

[Mrs. Don-o]

As a Catholic, I can't think of any Baptist I admire more than Albert Mohler, a first-class thinker and writer, and a man with a heart for God and for God's people.

I think his reflections on the heartbreak and scandal of divorce probably touch each and every one of us, either in our own situation or int he situations of people who are near and dear to us.

He is undoubtedly right that divorce has done more damage to Christian marriages than "gay" "marriage" ever will. (I myself think that "gay" "marriage" is in large part a symptom that metaphorically, marriage itself has AIDS. If marriage were not already very sick, in fact immune-deficient, it is impossible that a mutant opportunistic infection like "gay" "marriage" would ever be a threat.)

So what's to be done?

What say ye?

[sodpoodle]

One can altruistically accept that gay marriage would not affect society unless children were to be introduced into the mix. And they are; by IVF, adoption and when one partner has bio children as a result of a prior heterosexual liason. IMHO Gay marriage was simply a way for homosexual couples to be fully accepted by family and society.

More destructive (to a civil society) than gay marriage is the dissolution of heterosexual marriages; by the common-law co-habitation with multiple partners, producing dozens of children who have full siblings, half-siblings, step-siblings etc., scattered all over the globe with no sense of family continuity.

Visits to gran’ma’s house will soon require biometric IDs.

[christianhomeschoolmommaof3]

Wonderful article. I agree that as Christians we should have higher standards than the world where marriage is concerned.

Of course lots of people that aren’t Christians call themselves Christians and that gets put into the equation as well.

[napscoordinator]

You cannot possibly be a conservative and think that divorce is ok. I thank God everyday that I was raised to believe that divorce is not an option. So far (knock on wood), we have not had a divorce in our family in three generations. We did have one divorce with my grandmother’s parents (back in 1920 believe it or not...lol) That was enough to turn our stomach’s on that mess. I believe that if people would put as much energy into their marriages as they do everything else we would be a much better nation. I agree that as a Catholic this guy is pretty decent.

[fightinJAG]

This focus is long overdue.

Divorce wounds people, deeply. It wounds the spouses and the children.

[Ransomed]

For the faiths that recognize divorce, do they have to go through a process in their religion, or do they just rely on the gubberment to tell them if a marriage still exists or not?

Freegards

[Strategerist]

It’s interesting that essentially the same points were made in an article by David Boaz from the Cato Institute, posted here about a week ago, and people fell all over themselves to proclaim him an idiot.

And Boaz didn’t even make the fairly obvious point that this article does, mainly that the ant-gay marriage fight is a losing battle over time given, the far greater acceptance of gays among the young.

Overall, though, other than perhaps greater tax credits for the married there’s no realistic governmental/public policy way you’re going to force people to stay married; even an attempt to do so would be political suicide.

[marshmallow]

"Do-overs"..............it's the American way.

Forgiveness and making a new start when we mess up are integral to the Christian message. We can say "sorry" to God, wipe the slate clean and begin again. Unfortunately, we've taken that concept to places it was never intended to go. When a marriage is messed up, there's no closing that book and opening a new one.

I believe this confusion is due to the fact that so much of what passes for "Christianity" in the US is man centered and not God centered. God is there to help me.........God wants me to be happy............God can fulfill my dreams........Jesus saved me.........

Me, me, me...........it's all about me.

How many churches peddle this "feel-good" message where I am at the center and God is just another means to get "high"?

Simply put, they've removed the cross from Christianity. Once this happens, human suffering, difficulties and trials are things which have no value and must be dispensed with as also must the things which cause them. This includes things such as a difficult marriage. However, the cross is integral to Christianity. It is essential to Christianity.

The cross is not something about which you hear very much in the "praise-centered" evangelical churches, and sadly, in Catholicism too, these days. No, I don't mean blathering on about "thank you, thank you Jesus.......you saved me by your Cross". That's talking the talk.

I'm referring to "walking the walk" and taking up our own cross, as Jesus indicated when he said that "anyone who wants to be a follower of mine must take up his cross and follow me."

You reap what you sow.

[fightinJAG]

But the new focus on getting Christians to practice what they preach marks an important shift in the culture war front, and, if successful, could prove to be the most potent cultural argument evangelicals have ever deployed.

Here, in the last line of the article, lies the kernel of the problem, I think.

The author states that there must be a "new focus on getting Christians to practice what they preach." I say there must be a new focus on getting Christians to preach, and teach one another from Scripture, God's view on divorce.

Which is that He hates it.

Christians, who study the Bible for themselves, would do well to notice how, over and over again, the Lord uses the "picture" of marriage to explain His relationship to His church (the community of believers) -- and to explain His hurt when the ones He loves betray Him -- how often He speaks of "adultery" when His people follow after other (false) gods.

The constant references to the relationship with the Father. Today how many young people never know by experience what a true, loving earthly father is?

In short, much of Christianity has failed to teach that God really, really wants you to take marriage seriously and to stay married with very few exceptions. Moreover, Christians should be taught that they go in to marriage with resources in Heaven by which to face life's challenges, including those in marriage.

To me the bottom line is being a follower of Jesus means wanting to live in a way that pleases God, and divorce and adultery don't. A serious commitment to godly living goes a long way toward creating and sustaining a serious commitment to marriage.

Also Christians must return to teaching against fornication. It's a simple fact that the social acceptance of premartial sex undermines marriage.

One can't be guilty of not practicing what is not preached.

[Truthsearcher]

I’ve been making the same argument for years. But I’m glad to see that finally it’s getting the attention it deserves. If we want to save marriage and the family, we have to deal with the problem of easy divorces.

[fightinJAG]

A culture of strong marriages among conservatives (Christian or not) would be a much greater positive influence on our society than any actual policy we could implement.

[papertyger]

What a load...

Anyone who addresses the subject of divorce, but fails to note eighty percent of all divorces are sought by women, is a coward and a hypocrite.

[papertyger]

What a load...

Anyone who addresses the subject of divorce, but fails to note eighty percent of all divorces are sought by women, is a coward and a hypocrite.

[fightinJAG]

I have to go to quite a few doctor appointments. I always note how many older couples I see in the waiting room. We always smile — the older man always ends up with the wife’s purse while she goes in. So often they are loving and kind to one another and you can tell they have been together for decades.

And I often think that sight will be much more rare in my children’s generation. The ways things are going, it looks like there will be very few couples who end up growing old together and helping one another at the doctor’s office.

[longtermmemmory]

It is very nice for you but Divorce may be the only option for some situations. The orthodox christian faith allows for echlisiastic divorces. Note: I did not say good, just only option (think physical or mental abuse, infidelity, bigamy etc)

we also have to remember that 10% of all divorced couples remarry the same person. so the REAL divorce rate is in the 30s.

[PhxRising]

While I agree that divorce is definitely a problem that Christians should work together to reduce, however, the premise of this article is wrong - Christians divorce at the same rate as the general population.

This false premise started with a survey from George Barna, which has been proven to be wrong. However, his bad work has been taken as truth and continued to spread.

http://brewright.blogspot.com/2006/12/christian-divorce-rates.html
“Many people believe that Christian marriages end in divorce just as often as non-Christian, but it turns out, using the best data available, that this is not true.”

“To illustrate, here are the divorce rates among ever-married respondents in the General Social Survey (GSS, 2000-2004)—one of the best known sources of sociological data. “Frequent” is attending church about once a week or more.

58%, non-frequent Black Protestants
54%, non-frequent Evangelicals
51%, no religion (e.g., atheists & agnostics)
48%, ALL NON-CHRISTIANS
48%, non-frequent, other religions
47%, frequent Black Protestants
42%, non-frequent, mainline Protestants
41%, ALL CHRISTIANS
41%, non-frequent Catholics
39%, Jews
38%, frequent other religions
34%, frequent Evangelicals
32%, ALL FREQUENT CHRISTIANS
32%, frequent mainline Protestants
23%, frequent Catholics”

“Why do so many people believe otherwise? It appears to stem from the work of George Barna. In well-publicized studies, he has compared divorce rates of “born again” Christians against non-Christians, and he finds little difference. Here’s the catch: his type of analysis labels as “non-Christian” many mainline Protestants, such as Presbyterians, Lutherans, and Episcopalians, and most Catholics. As such, he is comparing Christians against Christians.”

[fightinJAG]

Well said.

Too often God is preached as the great vending machine in the sky. There to give, give, give if we just press the right buttons.

As I said upthread, it’s not exactly accurate to talk about Christians not practicing what they preach because so few preach, or teach, that God hates divorce, sexual immorality, and adultery and that following Him means living in a way that agrees with what He says is right.

[Opinionated Blowhard]

Christian churches should not perform marriages for people who have had certain types of divorces. If a couple had a “no fault” divorce, a solid, conservative church should not conduct a marriage ceremony for them again. They can get married in front of a judge or other civil service.

[Grunthor]

Abuse, addiction or adultery.

-Grunthors’ only allowable grounds for divorce.

[hellbender]

I agree with the article that:

"divorce harms many more lives than will be touched by homosexual marriage."

The Christian life is one which puts the welfare of others above selfish "fulfillment".