Get your own official Cardinal Mahony casket today!

Priestly Pugilist ^ | 4/17/2010 | The Priestly Pugilist

[Balt]

The Saturday afternoon post in my rectory usually remains unopened until Tuesday morning;—there's certainly nothing I'm going to do with it on a Saturday or Sunday, and I'm off on Monday—but, for some reason I came in from Saturday evening Vespers and decided to open it today anyway. Among the bills was one of the strangest advertisements I've ever received.

It's from the Trappist Monks at New Melleray Abbey in Peosta, Indiana. After a brief instruction on how the Rule of St. Benedict requires the monks to earn a living by the work of their hands, comes the deadpan pitch:

I thought you'd like to know that we've recently introduced a new product exclusively for priests: the Clergy Casket. This "full couch" casket (the whole interior of the casket is prepared for full-body viewing) may be engraved with the name of the priest, dates of birth, ordination, and death. This discounted clergy casket package comes with many benefits, including free ground delivery, and is available only to priests.

Just for the record, advertisements from monasteries are not unusual: incense, altar wine, icons, prayer ropes and rosaries, even fruitcakes are often offered for sale. But a box to be buried in?

Don't get me wrong: coffins are expensive; and the idea may not be a bad one on the surface of it; not to mention the fact that the diocese may or may not cover the cost of one when a priest dies, depending on how much of a family the priest leaves behind. What caught my eye was the testimonial that accompanied the flyer: a letter of recommendation from His Abusiveness, Roger Cardinal Mahony, Archbishop of Los Angeles, whose long tenure in that diocese will be remembered not only for the largest number of liturgical abuses since the days of selling indulgences, but also for the highest number of abusing priests ever shielded from civil authority—far more than the long-lamented Cardinal Law of Boston, who was targeted by the media because, unlike Mahony, he wasn't a political and social liberal.

In his testimonial, His Eminence tells the abbot, Dom Brendan, that his box has arrived safe and sound, and is now "awaiting the day when the Lord calls me home to eternal life." He adds that purchasing a "Trappist Casket" helps to "sustain the spiritual power of the Abbey and the sanctity of your members."

If I were not a priest myself, I might be tempted to add that the sanctity of the members of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles might also be helped by the use of this box. But I won't. That would be uncharitable. As for my flyer, it now graces the interior of my circular file. Don't misunderstand me: I'm not begrudging Cardinal Mahony's desire for an attractive, hand-crafted box in which to decay; but those of us who still cling to the hope of eternal life are a bit more concerned about the disposition of our souls.

On the other hand, there's certainly nothing wrong with praying that any fellow Christian enjoy the grace of a good and holy death. That prayer need not necessarily contain any reference as to when.

[Salvation]

You provided my laugh for the day!

[Desdemona]

BTTT! What a hoot.

[Eepsy]

Ohhh, I shouldn’t laugh....

No, really, I shouldn’t....

....[snerk]....

There.

Now I feel better.

Carry on.