The article linked to
Please advise!
Sounds like a classic southern family. A certain decorum, especially at church and social events. I would just stick with polite conversation and maybe ask her to coffee or something simple. Don’t forget to invite the daughter along too (just kidding. :p )
Ask the girl out on a date. She can handle it from there.
I wouldn't wear a coat and tie if no one else does, but you should shoot for being in the top quartile of the congregation, sartorially speaking.
As far as clearing things with Mom, I don't think you need to do so explicitly. If you do, the lovely daughter will let you know. Just make sure she has plenty of opportunity to get to know you. You don't want Mom along on a dinner date, but you could perhaps take her along with the two of you to a ball game or a church event, to help her reassure herself about your intentions towards her daughter.
Send Mom a little bouquet after your first real date, if you hit it off with Miss Lovely, and include a gracious note complimenting her for raising her daughter so well. You can do so anytime she does something nice for you. I have found this works wonders with my own mother-in-law.
Dating adventures ping!
I’m married for 15 years. I am the wrong person to be asking because I know nothing. Just ask my wife.
They hunt in packs.
What did you whip out?
1) how old is the lady and her mother?
2) ask around, especially the other ladies in the church and neighborhood. They can tell you the real story.
3) how was her “affect”: did she seem flat, or dazed, or shy?
4) don’t worry about her different answers: Often one says the first thing that pops into one’s head when a stranger asks a personal question.
Just find an opportunity and ask the daughter out for a coffee sometime. Show a little testicular fortitude.
Enlist the help of a friend to distract the mother with polite conversation.
Dont worry if she is a bit mule kicked. Those women have their advantages too
I guess you could save yourself a bunch of time and just hand over all of your money to her now. Spoiler: That’s how it always ends.
Depends upon the age of the daughter. It all sounds pretty old skool, and one can't go wrong with chivalry. Simple small talk with them together, and wait for the right moment. Ask for a tacit approval from the mother for a short term moment with her daughter... a walk or a dance (in plain sight), if the daughter would agree, whereupon you might discuss your intentions with the daughter herself more privately.
This allows the daughter to be socially gracious, participating in a short outing, and if she is interested, she will surely clue you in on the terms necessary to go further at that point. If not, she can rebuff your advances in a polite way.
Treating the mother as a gentleman would will go a very long way in any case, but if it is old skool, don't be surprised if the other shoe drops shortly... You've still got to get through the old man... That's the sticky part. :D
I have a friend whose mother is always by her side. Her mother is in the early stages of Altheimers. Things aren’t always as they may seem.
Sounds like my mother and sister. Widowed mother and single sister living together for convenience, safety, cost savings, and companionship. They were very much alike.
Just be a gentleman and engage both of them in conversation.
Ask them both to lunch, not dinner.
Uhhh, how old are you?
Other issues aside, evening gowns are usually rather bare and revealing around the neckline and shoulders, often revealing cleavage.
That would seem to me to be far less appropriate for church than a nice pair of jeans and a polo.
She's lovely, cares about her mother and attends church regularly. Sounds good so far!
I literally stopped going to my last church because I was sick of men hitting on me and asking me out.....No means No...one guy would show up and wait in the church parking lot to open my door for me after a Bible study class- after I told him NO. Another guy would just keep at it, for an entire YEAR, buying me gifts, stalking me n the internet, posting LOVE LETTERS to me on his internet blog-— and my church members told me I needed to get over my hatred of men, so I could date again.....(and pursue a life of adultry...) I don’t hate men— I LOVE MEN! I just don’t want to date sick men....
I am now happily married to a fellow FREEPer....
I go to church to worship. If a woman wants to be approached by men, YOU WILL KNOW....
If she acts single and available- then just ask her to join you for lunch after church, and invite her mother along. If she acts disinterested in men and dating, show some respect and some class....
Just take it slow, get to know her and leak it to a mutual friend you might be interested. The evening dress may just be a quirk, we all have them (your a political nut). Seek guidance in prayer often.
That is about all one can do. Just see where it leads ya.