Posted on 04/11/2008 10:29:55 AM PDT by Alex Murphy
(Dallas Theological Seminary : Ucs News) Sources close to the Dallas Theological Seminary are reporting the official date for the Rapture has been delayed, indefinitely. According to the unnamed sources "The daily review of world events has Seminary officials concerned the Lords work is just not complete and the chosen ones are not delivering on Gods promise." The Rapture is the name given to a future event in which Jesus Christ will descend from Heaven, accompanied by the spirits of all the saints of God, both from the pre-incarnation period and after. There is considerable debate among Christians who believe in the rapture in regard to the timing of the rapture relative to the Tribulation. Most views hold that Christian believers will be either removed from, or protected from the judgment of God's wrath.
In 1957, Dr. John Walvoord, a theologian at Dallas Theological Seminary, authored a book, "The Rapture Question," that gave theological support to the Pre-Tribulation rapture; this book eventually sold over 65,000 copies.
According to staffers at the Dallas Theological Seminary, George W. Bush was tasked by God to perform significant works in his name but the Texas Republican has failed. The Seminary stated that George W. Bush has failed to pack the Supreme court, slaughter the infidels and has not retaken Jerusalem with Christian soldiers.
Dallas Theological Seminary (DTS) is a conservative evangelical theological seminary located in Dallas, Texas and the North American institution for popularizing the theological system known as Dispensationalism. DTS has extension campuses in Atlanta, Austin, Houston, San Antonio, and Tampa and a multi-lingual online education program.
Is this supposed to be satire?
According to there site its political satire.
read later
DTS is well-known for its dispensational premillennial theology--but naming dates ain't part of the program, although Hal Lindsey (DTS grad) has flirted with it over the last 4 decades...
That’s because He’s not ready for you guys.
Nope. Things are progressing just as God planned them. Jesus will call us up at just the right time.
Someone needs to tell Jack Van Impe
Sigh.
It’s clearly raining on the just and the unjust . . . usually in the same family, group . . . even individual.
Have fun.
I think I’ll sit this water fight out.
Not very good satire.
And it has a liberal take on the Bush presidency.
Whatever..........
“If I knew God I’d be Him.”
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