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Joel Osteen Heresy Gauge
What?..Um - theological satire ^ | August 6th, 2007 | seth

Posted on 10/31/2007 11:48:35 AM PDT by Alex Murphy

How to determine when Joel Osteen is speaking heresy:



TOPICS: Apologetics; Charismatic Christian; Evangelical Christian; Humor
KEYWORDS: fleecingtheflock; flimflamman; heresy; hislipsaremoving; joelosteen; osteen; televangelists; thinksldsrchristian
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1 posted on 10/31/2007 11:48:36 AM PDT by Alex Murphy
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To: Alex Murphy

HAHAHAHAHA - outstanding


2 posted on 10/31/2007 11:49:40 AM PDT by ItsOurTimeNow (FR Member ItsOurTimeNow: Declared Anathema by the Council of Trent)
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To: Alex Murphy

he’s not a bad guy, is he?


3 posted on 10/31/2007 11:52:33 AM PDT by the invisib1e hand (keep the heat on the hillary.)
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To: the invisib1e hand

He’s a happy little heretic.


4 posted on 10/31/2007 11:53:03 AM PDT by Blogger (Propheteuon.com)
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i like his speaking style, he is very smooth in front of an audience. but for the truth of Christ, i would rather listen to the power voice and true christian teachings from Bishop Fulton J. Sheen.


5 posted on 10/31/2007 11:54:34 AM PDT by raygunfan
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To: Alex Murphy

This is horrible, and certainly not funny. This is not satire. This fine young man is a wonderful Christian author and evangelist. Whenever I can catch his program on TV, I watch and pay attention.


6 posted on 10/31/2007 11:59:59 AM PDT by Saundra Duffy
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To: All
Found this article online. Personally, he gives me the creeps somehow, he's too slick or something, like Mitt Romney...
7 posted on 10/31/2007 12:09:44 PM PDT by pillut48 (CJ in TX --Soccer Mom and proud RUSH REPUBLICAN! WIN, FRED, WIN!!!)
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To: Saundra Duffy

He might be an evangelist, but Christianity isn’t what he is selling.


8 posted on 10/31/2007 12:15:28 PM PDT by PAR35
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To: raygunfan

Or Dr. Scott


9 posted on 10/31/2007 12:22:58 PM PDT by GoforBroke
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To: GoforBroke

of course, Scott Rox!!


10 posted on 10/31/2007 12:26:58 PM PDT by raygunfan
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To: Alex Murphy

That’s a great slap in the face to the poor suckers who actually follow this guy...a slap they desperately need (Snap out of it!).


11 posted on 10/31/2007 12:30:44 PM PDT by Petronski (Congratulations Tribe! AL Central Champs)
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To: Alex Murphy

After seeing him on Larry King, I see the problem. He thinks because his dad was a preacher he’s one.


12 posted on 10/31/2007 12:32:24 PM PDT by 1000 silverlings (Everything that deceives also enchants: Plato)
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To: Saundra Duffy

And you would know heresy if you saw it because...? ;-)

(I’d better read up on him and find out why he’s a heretic.)

Speaking of heresy, beware the emerging church, contemplative spirituality, and purpose-driven anything!


13 posted on 10/31/2007 12:35:26 PM PDT by Abigail Adams
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To: PAR35
"He might be an evangelist, but Christianity isn’t what he is selling."

Roger that. A wolf in sheep's clothing.

14 posted on 10/31/2007 1:18:27 PM PDT by joebuck
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To: GoforBroke
Or Dr. Scott

I always admired Dr. Scott. He was honest, he didn't pretend he was doing anything but pocketing the money. "Contributions are NOT tax deductable".

He'd even show video of his horses and his harem, so you'd know the contributions were being put to beneficial use.

15 posted on 10/31/2007 1:30:17 PM PDT by PAR35
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To: raygunfan

Another problem with Osteen is his prosperity gospel madness. It is one of the most dangerous and self centered movements in the Church today.


16 posted on 10/31/2007 1:38:30 PM PDT by Reagan79 (Ralph Stanley & The Clinch Mountain Boys)
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To: raygunfan

“i like his speaking style, he is very smooth in front of an audience”

Kinda like Bill Clinton or Jim Jones?


17 posted on 10/31/2007 1:41:13 PM PDT by wolfcreek (The Status Quo Sucks!)
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To: PAR35
Exactly, and to light a flame under the self righteous.
18 posted on 10/31/2007 1:52:21 PM PDT by GoforBroke
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To: PAR35
He might be an evangelist, but Christianity isn’t what he is selling.

He reminds me of a used car salesman at a tote your note carlot, selling junk.

19 posted on 10/31/2007 3:46:13 PM PDT by Missey_Lucy_Goosey
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To: Missey_Lucy_Goosey

Reminds me of the character Elmer Gantry times 10.

What he is saying about Romney’s beliefs in that he and Romney both worship the same Jesus is heresy. Politics aside it takes about 10 minutes worth of reading to understand that Mormons can call themselves Christians but they are not. Osteen said he had deeply investigated Mormonism, he either lied to sound goo don tv or he is a heretic.


20 posted on 11/01/2007 7:24:31 AM PDT by Resolute Conservative
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Bishop Sheen/Scott Hahn

my dynamic duo


21 posted on 11/01/2007 9:57:40 AM PDT by raygunfan
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To: Alex Murphy

Not funny at all.


22 posted on 11/01/2007 10:01:42 AM PDT by subterfuge (HILLARY IS: She who must not be Dismayed)
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To: Resolute Conservative
What do Mormons believe about Jesus Christ?
23 posted on 11/01/2007 12:14:39 PM PDT by TheDon (The DemocRAT party is the party of TREASON! Overthrow the terrorist's congress!)
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To: pillut48

He’s plastic. Preacher-man Ken.


24 posted on 11/01/2007 12:18:38 PM PDT by Hoodlum91 (I support global warming.)
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To: TheDon

That thread said nothing about the fact they think that Jesus and Lucifer were brothers in heaven, unless I missed it. They in fact were not. Lucifer is a created being and Jesus has always been.


25 posted on 11/01/2007 12:26:54 PM PDT by Resolute Conservative
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To: Resolute Conservative
Politics aside it takes about 10 minutes worth of reading to understand that Mormons can call themselves Christians but they are not.

My post was in response to the above comment.

26 posted on 11/01/2007 12:32:13 PM PDT by TheDon (The DemocRAT party is the party of TREASON! Overthrow the terrorist's congress!)
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To: TheDon

Thank you. I am sorry if I appeared to be correcting you.


27 posted on 11/01/2007 12:49:20 PM PDT by Resolute Conservative
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To: Resolute Conservative
What he is saying about Romney’s beliefs in that he and Romney both worship the same Jesus is heresy. Politics aside it takes about 10 minutes worth of reading to understand that Mormons can call themselves Christians but they are not. Osteen said he had deeply investigated Mormonism, he either lied to sound goo don tv or he is a heretic.Joel Osteen is both ignorant of essential Christian doctrines, that serve as a line of demarcation between Biblical, historic Christianity, and a heretic.

Osteeen denies the Atonement of Christ and teaches a concept of faith that comes straight from the witchcraft of Madame Blavatsky's theosophy, being that faith is a universal force in the universe like gravity, and that you can harness that force, attach it to your words, and use it to create your own reality.

That concept is pure witchcraft.

28 posted on 11/01/2007 3:00:27 PM PDT by Missey_Lucy_Goosey
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To: Saundra Duffy

You forgot the sarcasm tag: /s


29 posted on 11/01/2007 7:38:19 PM PDT by iowamark (FDT: Some think the way to beat the Democrats in November is to be more like them.)
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To: PAR35
"I always admired Dr. Scott. He was honest, he didn't pretend he was doing anything but pocketing the money." He spent a huge amount of money sent to him --without strings attached-- to broadcast the Gospel to the world in radio and TV. He was worthy of his hire. The man was truly gifted by God to open the scriptures and make the scenes and people of the Bible come alive for those paying attention.

Many focus upon the wealth he accumulated. So what? Have you ever viewed the collection of biblical texts he purchased with much of the funds sent to him, and have you listened to him while he expounded the precious value of parallel texts that verify the context and teaching of the Bible? One of the ancillary values of a man like Gene Scott is the opportunity to see a man with his flaws still being the tool of the Almighty. In the end, there is only one like him this side of Paul, who one can rightly surmise opened the Septuagint texts to a lost world, and whom still opens the Gospel of Grace to anyone willing to read.

There are three or four sermons Scott preached that are unrivaled in History! The truths are so clearly revealed that even I could write the message for you at the drop of a hat, like the resurrection sermon he preached every Easter. His teaching in Romans has yet to be fully appreciated. Perhaps Melissa can get it into manuscript form int he not so distant months, for edification of the world.

For the record, Osteen is a conman who may have actually come to believe his own lies. And of course, his prosperity hooey has made him very prosperous. One thinks of that scripture verse about gainign the whole world but losing one's soul. Kind of like the 'purpose driven' wealth of another con artist draped in a false christianity robes.

30 posted on 11/01/2007 8:00:05 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Because they do not wish to be deceived, they cannot be convinced that they are deceived.)
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To: Alex Murphy; GOPPachyderm; TommyDale; Cyrano; shaggy eel; blackie; Gamecock; ...

LOL! Priceless. Someone better ping the Q-man! I’m not gonna...


31 posted on 01/04/2008 10:06:48 AM PST by Terriergal ("I am ashamed that women are so simple To offer war where they should kneel for peace," Shakespeare)
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To: Terriergal

Osteen has also been criticized for not having any theological training. Osteen has received a BA in television production, but did not study theology or religion in college, and has never attended a Seminary.[18]

From:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joel_Osteen

I’ve never heard of him, so I did a Google.


32 posted on 01/04/2008 10:55:20 AM PST by blackie (Be Well~Be Armed~Be Safe~Molon Labe!)
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To: MHGinTN

You are right about Gene Scott!

He was one of a kind and a superb teacher!


33 posted on 01/04/2008 10:57:46 AM PST by blackie (Be Well~Be Armed~Be Safe~Molon Labe!)
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To: Terriergal; Quix

For more insight on how to determine the deceptive lies that spew forth from Joel’s mouth, I submit:

http://www.apprising.org/archives/2005/10/joel_osteen_smi.html

and

http://www.oldtruth.com/blog.cfm/id.2.pid.85

It is the nature of deception for the one being deceived to be ignorant of his condition.


34 posted on 01/04/2008 11:02:41 AM PST by Manfred the Wonder Dawg (Test ALL things, hold to that which is True.)
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To: blackie

He can’t preach his way out of a paper bag. May as well replace him with Tony Robbins or Stuart Smalley.


35 posted on 01/04/2008 11:10:33 AM PST by Terriergal ("I am ashamed that women are so simple To offer war where they should kneel for peace," Shakespeare)
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To: Saundra Duffy
This is horrible, and certainly not funny. This is not satire. This fine young man is a wonderful Christian author and evangelist. Whenever I can catch his program on TV, I watch and pay attention.

Oh well you should probably leave this thread and go make yourself feel better by watching ApostOsteen then because it really is good satire.


36 posted on 01/04/2008 11:16:59 AM PST by Terriergal ("I am ashamed that women are so simple To offer war where they should kneel for peace," Shakespeare)
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To: Manfred the Wonder Dawg; Quix; Saundra Duffy
Here is another excellent comparison between Paul Washer and Joel Osteen.

posted by Reformation Nation

Paul Washer vs Joel Osteen.

paul-washer.jpgboxing-gloves.jpgjoel-osteen.jpg

Here’s a treat that you are sure to enjoy. Listen to this (9:30) audio clip Paul Washer vs Joel Osteen and see if you can spot a difference in their theologies. Thanks to Way of the Master Radio (WOTM) for putting this audio together (and my wife for finding it).

37 posted on 01/04/2008 11:20:47 AM PST by Terriergal ("I am ashamed that women are so simple To offer war where they should kneel for peace," Shakespeare)
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To: Saundra Duffy

You’re kidding, right?

Osteen is a huckster who would make Elmer Gantry proud.


38 posted on 01/04/2008 11:22:10 AM PST by Xenalyte (Can you count, suckas? I say the future is ours . . . if you can count.)
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To: Hoodlum91

HA! Exactly.


39 posted on 01/04/2008 11:47:04 AM PST by GOPPachyderm
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To: DocRock; del4hope; Alex Murphy; Gamecock; Dr. Eckleburg; jude24; Ottofire; fishtank; ...

YBPDLN Ping List Ping


40 posted on 01/04/2008 12:14:23 PM PST by Gamecock (Aaron had what every mega-church pastor craves: a huge crowd that gave freely and lively worship.)
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To: Alex Murphy

Osteen seems like a decent person, but I find your post totally funny.


41 posted on 01/04/2008 12:22:07 PM PST by KC_Conspirator
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To: Terriergal; Quix
LOL! Priceless. Someone better ping the Q-man! I’m not gonna...

The Q-man?

Do you mean Quix?

42 posted on 01/04/2008 1:09:31 PM PST by pby
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To: Terriergal

This cat looks like a real charlatan to me.


43 posted on 01/04/2008 1:25:20 PM PST by blackie (Be Well~Be Armed~Be Safe~Molon Labe!)
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To: Saundra Duffy

Wow.

I guess you’ve never been fooled in all of your life?


44 posted on 01/04/2008 1:31:55 PM PST by fishtank (Fenced BORDERS, English LANGUAGE, Patriotic CULTURE: A good plan.)
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To: Saundra Duffy

Me, too. He’s an encourager and God knows we can use some of that these days.


45 posted on 01/04/2008 4:12:22 PM PST by Marysecretary (GOD IS STILL IN CONTROL.)
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To: pby
The Q-man?

Do you mean Quix?

Who else?

46 posted on 01/04/2008 5:31:44 PM PST by Lee N. Field ("Massive Saucer Fleets -- threat or menace?")
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To: pillut48
From pillut48: Found this article online.

Jim 0216 response: Hmmm, lets take a look.

http://apprising.org/2008/03/arminians-come-out-of-the-seeker-sensitive-movement/ From ARMINIANS COME OUT OF THE SEEKER SENSITIVE MOVEMENT:

Each of these teachers of a false Christianity encourage people, in similar words, to make some kind of a decision to follow the way of God in Jesus.

This is false teaching?

And a good question is: When is the last time you heard this preached by leaders within postevangelcalism and the emerging church?

Every time Osteen preaches he invites people to receive the Lord Jesus into their heart. Joel Osteen's calling is Pastor, primarily helping Christians to grow (v. Whitefield, an Evangelist focussed on the unsaved).

From JOEL OSTEEN CROSSLESS “CHRISTIANITY”:

UNABLE TO FIND ANYTHING RELATED TO THIS CHARGE

So far this site comes up with empty and false charges. Looks like the Pharisees are alive and well on planet earth.

From JOHN OSTEEN AND JOEL OSTEEN:

Osteen is on record as fully endorsing the WOF errant concepts surrounding financial prosperity: It’s God’s will for you to live in prosperity instead of poverty. It’s God’s will for you to pay your bills and not be in debt. It’s God’s will for you to live in health and not in sickness all the days of your life. In the above sermon we can see the Health & Wealth “gospel” summed up three sentences. So despite the good things that John Osteen did as a Pastor he got ensnared by the subtlety of false teaching and ended up misleading millions before his death.

Have you never read, Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.(3 John 2) As usual, the Pharisees lack knowledge and understanding of God's Word.

So far, the charges leveled at Joel Osteen's message come up empty.

From pillut48: Personally, he gives me the creeps somehow, he's too slick or something, like Mitt Romney...

Jim 0216 response: I don't like him either, but I love his message. So far, I've found his words to be scripturally sound, vibrant, and life-changing, something the Body of Christ needs and the Pharisees and the Devil hates.

47 posted on 08/10/2008 1:56:55 PM PDT by Jim 0216
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To: Alex Murphy; ItsOurTimeNow; the invisib1e hand; Blogger; raygunfan; Saundra Duffy; PAR35; ...
From pillut48: Found this article online. http://apprising.org/2008/03/arminians-come-out-of-the-seeker-sensitive-movement/

Jim 0216 response: Hmmm, lets take a look.

http://apprising.org/2008/03/arminians-come-out-of-the-seeker-sensitive-movement/

From ARMINIANS COME OUT OF THE SEEKER SENSITIVE MOVEMENT:

Each of these teachers of a false Christianity encourage people, in similar words, to make some kind of a decision to follow the way of God in Jesus.

This is false teaching?

And a good question is: When is the last time you heard this preached by leaders within postevangelcalism and the emerging church?

Every time Osteen preaches he invites people to receive the Lord Jesus into their heart. Joel Osteen's calling is Pastor, primarily helping Christians to grow (v. Whitefield, an Evangelist focussed on the unsaved).

From JOEL OSTEEN CROSSLESS “CHRISTIANITY”:

UNABLE TO FIND ANYTHING RELATED TO THIS CHARGE

So far this site comes up with empty and false charges. Looks like the Pharisees are alive and well on planet earth.

From JOHN OSTEEN AND JOEL OSTEEN:

Osteen is on record as fully endorsing the WOF errant concepts surrounding financial prosperity: It’s God’s will for you to live in prosperity instead of poverty. It’s God’s will for you to pay your bills and not be in debt. It’s God’s will for you to live in health and not in sickness all the days of your life. In the above sermon we can see the Health & Wealth “gospel” summed up three sentences. So despite the good things that John Osteen did as a Pastor he got ensnared by the subtlety of false teaching and ended up misleading millions before his death.

Have you never read, Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.(3 John 2)? As usual, the Pharisees lack knowledge and understanding of God's Word.

So far, the charges leveled at Joel Osteen's message come up empty.

From pillut48: Personally, he gives me the creeps somehow, he's too slick or something, like Mitt Romney...

Jim 0216 response: I don't like him either, but I love his message. So far, I've found his words to be scripturally sound, vibrant, and life-changing, something the Body of Christ needs and the Pharisees and the Devil hates.

48 posted on 08/10/2008 2:26:52 PM PDT by Jim 0216
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To: Jim 0216

Take me off this ping list.


49 posted on 08/10/2008 2:34:17 PM PDT by KC_Conspirator
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To: Jim 0216

My bad, this is not a ping list.


50 posted on 08/10/2008 2:35:44 PM PDT by KC_Conspirator
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