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Cable Company Goes TBN 24/7 for Delinquent Customers
Team Tominthebox News Network® ^ | 09 July, 2007 | Tom Slawson

Posted on 07/09/2007 11:13:56 AM PDT by topcat54

Knoxville, TN- Cable Pro of Knoxville has for years had to put man hours and money into the problem of cable company clients who were delinquent in their payments. The practice has traditionally been that cable customers who persisted in not paying their bills would, after three notices, have their cable service cut off until their account was settled. While this practice has been successful in rooting out non-paying customers, it still costs the company an estimated $60,000 per year in lost time, and man hours.

But recently Cable Pro president, Larry Maezell experimented with a new idea that has so far been very successful. Now, instead of canceling a person's service, or sending him or her repeated notices of delinquency, Cable Pro simply changes a customer's subscription preferences resulting in his or her service becoming 24 hours of the Trinity Broadcasting Network on every channel.

"It's worked beautifully" said Maezell. "In the past we'd have to try and try to get in touch with the people who weren't paying, try and get our man out there to cut off their service. It was just a big hassle. Now, they call us!"

Cable Pro customer Chris Kjos was one of the first to experience Cable Pro's new policy.

"All I wanted to do was watch a little golf on Sunday afternoon" said Kjos. "I turned on my set and all I saw was this lady with big poofy hair singing. I just thought the cable company had switched up all the channels again. So I changed the channel, and it was the same thing on every channel. When I called the cable company they said I hadn't paid up my bill in over a month."

Now, "like clockwork" customers who are behind on their payments for cable services usually call the company within 24 hours wondering what is wrong with their cable service, only to told that they must pay up if they wish to have any channels other that TBN.

"This is the greatest idea we've had in a long time" said Maezell. "We've literally saved thousands of dollars. And last week when TBN ran the non-stop Benny Hinn marathon people were calling in so fast we couldn't keep up."

While a number of cable customers have complained that Cable Pro's practice amounts to "cruel and unusual" measures, Maezell has no plans to change.

"The rule stands" he said. "Either pay your bill or all you'll be watching is TBN, twenty-four-seven."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: christianmedia; tbn

1 posted on 07/09/2007 11:13:57 AM PDT by topcat54
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To: topcat54

By not paying, these people are committing theft of services. It’s actually a crime.

Maybe prisons should provide 24/7 TBN, maybe that would help with the reformation process.


2 posted on 07/09/2007 11:16:29 AM PDT by Clam Digger
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To: topcat54

Well it could have been Re runs of Ronald Reagan films


3 posted on 07/09/2007 11:16:54 AM PDT by al baby (Hi mom)
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To: topcat54
"last week when TBN ran the non-stop Benny Hinn marathon people were calling in so fast we couldn't keep up"

BWHAAAA! I'd probably call in even faster if was MTV on every channel.

4 posted on 07/09/2007 11:20:26 AM PDT by the_devils_advocate_666
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To: topcat54

Very funny, but is it true? Looks and sounds like spoof news to me.


5 posted on 07/09/2007 11:23:24 AM PDT by tyke
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To: topcat54
"Either pay your bill or all you'll be watching is TBN, twenty-four-seven."

Unless you're 80 and watch Benny Hinn night and day...

6 posted on 07/09/2007 11:24:04 AM PDT by theDentist (Qwerty ergo typo : I type, therefore I misspelll.)
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To: topcat54
While a number of cable customers have complained that Cable Pro's practice amounts to "cruel and unusual" measures, Maezell has no plans to change.

If you haven't paid for the service, you're not a customer.

7 posted on 07/09/2007 11:27:04 AM PDT by Niteranger68 (Now....ENFORCE EXISTING IMMIGRATION LAWS!!!)
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To: tyke
:...but is it true?

Team Tominthebox News Network® is a satirical online blog written by Tom Slawson, Brother Slawson and Elder Eric. All names of people or places mentioned in stories are fictional, except when a public figure is being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.



The content of this blog is Copyright 2007 by Team Tominthebox News Network. Transmission of and linking to articles found at this site is encouraged. Articles may not be altered or changed.



The purpose of this blog is to make a point through the use of satire.



Still hilarious though.
8 posted on 07/09/2007 11:30:14 AM PDT by newheart (The Truth? You can't handle the Truth. But He can handle you.)
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To: RacerF150; tyke; Clam Digger

“That’s a joke... I say, that’s a joke, son.”


9 posted on 07/09/2007 11:33:46 AM PDT by topcat54 ("... knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." (James 1:3))
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To: newheart

Thanks - thought it was. But I agree, very funny, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a cable company somewhere tried it sometime.


10 posted on 07/09/2007 11:37:28 AM PDT by tyke
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To: topcat54
Thinking outside the box.

I love it!

11 posted on 07/09/2007 11:41:22 AM PDT by Publius6961 (MSM: Israelis are killed by rockets; Lebanese are killed by Israelis.)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666
BWHAAAA! I'd probably call in even faster if was MTV on every channel.

I'm with you, but...

If they did that, 90% of the total subscribers would never pay their bills!

12 posted on 07/09/2007 11:47:57 AM PDT by Publius6961 (MSM: Israelis are killed by rockets; Lebanese are killed by Israelis.)
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To: topcat54

Er, I don’t think it is technically possible to do this.
When all TV goes digital, maybe so.


13 posted on 07/09/2007 11:50:34 AM PDT by AlexW (Reporting from Bratislava, Slovakia. Happy not to be back in the USA for now.)
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To: topcat54
“That’s a joke... I say, that’s a joke, son.”

Foghorn Leghorn... my hero!

By sheer coincidence, a rooster popped up out of nowhere yesterday, and he was our guest overnight. Until animal control took him away. Highly urban envirinment with no farms for many miles.
Guess what his name is now?

14 posted on 07/09/2007 11:51:05 AM PDT by Publius6961 (MSM: Israelis are killed by rockets; Lebanese are killed by Israelis.)
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To: Clam Digger

That’s cruel and unusual. It will never stand up to scrutiny.


15 posted on 07/09/2007 11:57:37 AM PDT by DaGman (`)
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To: tyke

I’m with you - this is not true. I watch TBN and they never had a non stop Benny Hinn marathon. Deception abounds!


16 posted on 07/09/2007 11:58:52 AM PDT by presently no screen name
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To: topcat54

They should be made to watch C-Span. They might actually learn something instead of the crap on all of the other channels.


17 posted on 07/09/2007 12:01:06 PM PDT by unixfox (The 13th Amendment Abolished Slavery, The 16th Amendment Reinstated It !)
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To: topcat54; Clam Digger; al baby; the_devils_advocate_666; tyke; theDentist; RacerF150; newheart; ...
EXCLUSIVE REPORT: Trinity Broadcasting Network Run by Atheists
18 posted on 07/09/2007 1:00:00 PM PDT by Alex Murphy (As heard on the Amish Radio Network! http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/1675029/posts)
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To: Alex Murphy

LOL, got me once, I’ll try not to be so gullible in the future.


19 posted on 07/09/2007 1:14:00 PM PDT by Clam Digger
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To: topcat54
Cable Pro customer Chris Kjos was one of the first to experience Cable Pro's new policy.

That sounds suspicious to me. The name looks suspiciously like a reference to Berit Kjos. Likely parody, since Berit and Andy Kjos are not exactly fans of TBN.

20 posted on 07/09/2007 6:37:07 PM PDT by Calvinist_Dark_Lord ((I have come here to kick @$$ and chew bubblegum...and I'm all outta bubblegum! ~Roddy Piper))
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