Fleets of CC-Mobiles, new roving confession and Communion trucks, are plying neighborhoods in Mexico and the U.S.Posted on 08/01/2006 1:40:55 PM PDT by Alex Murphy
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MEXICO CITY -- Capitalizing on momentum from recent papal events, the Catholic church yesterday acknowledged its "insane jealousy and rabid envy of Pentecostals" in Latin America, and launched an ambitious plan to re-assert itself in countries where it has lost ground.
Fleets of CC-Mobiles, new roving confession and Communion trucks, are plying neighborhoods in Mexico and the U.S.
"When I heard the tinkling music, I thought it was the ice cream man, so I sent the kids out with money," says Maria Gonzalez. "Then I saw a priest at the wheel. He invited us into the truck to have brightly-colored Communion wafers and confess anything we needed to confess. I have to admit, it was convenient."
The Church hopes to appeal to youth with Radical Rosary conferences. The PromiseKeepers-style events will promote church rituals under new names like "Man Your Stations" stations of the Cross and "Kickin'-It Confessionals" which Church literature describes as "hang-out sessions with priests where you can talk about anything that's on your mind except subjects relating to child abuse."
Priests are also distributing bumper stickers that say, "Sì, Catolico!" and "Catholic...And Cool."
But long term success depends on the new pope, they say.
"We are excited about the potential of our 78-year-old German conservative pope to dazzle people with his proven 'rock star quality,'" says a priest from Oaxaca. "He will help us take back ground we conquered five hundred years ago."
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THIS IS SATIRE. HUMOR.
You all remember "laughing" - that thing that you used to do, in response to watching "Gilligan's Island", before you became a Christian? Laughter is what your pastor is trying to provoke in you, when he tells those bad jokes at the beginning of his sermon. After "putting His enemies under his feet" (Psalm 110), IMO "getting Christians to laugh" must be the second-biggest thing that Christ will do before the Second Coming.
In Ecclesiasties 2:2, the author complains that laughter is "madness", asking "what does it accomplish?" Psalm 2:4 tells us that God, in heaven, laughs and scoffs at the kings of this earth "in derision". Psalm 37:13 says the Lord laughs at the wicked, for "their day is coming". But for the faithful, Genesis 21:6 tells us that laughter is an appropriate response to God's blessings, Job 8:21 promises laughter for those afflicted by Satan, and Psalm 126:2 says laughter is a sign to unbelieving nations that God has done great things for us. As Christians, we should learn to laugh more.
So why do I include all these warnings, sirens, and sledgehammer-to-the-head graphics telling you not to take this seriously? Recently, a poster claimed that every one of my posts "end up making FReepers look publicly stupid." Please remember that those are not my words. While I'm appreciative of the compliment, I'm hardly one to brag about my I.Q. (I know at least four current- and former-FReepers who have I.Q.s from twenty to fifty points HIGHER than mine, so what bragging rights does that leave me?). Said poster insisted that I provide sufficient warnings on all my humor threads, in advance, telling you that you're about to read something ficticious and humorous - apparently to prevent you from having to think about what you're reading, and hurting yourself in the process. If it makes you feel any better, please know that I gave you all more credit than that, but others didn't. They thought you looked stupid, and that you needed these warning labels.
Mel Brooks (not a Christian) once defined laughter in this way: "Tragedy is me cutting my finger. Comedy is you getting eaten by a tiger." Take that for what it's worth.
No one can make anyone look stupid, those Freepers do it all by themselves
Do they still go to confesssion in Germany? or Europe for that matter. US isn't that much better. BTW I need to find that van haven't been there in a while myself.
LOL! Germany or Confession?
LOLOL!
Did you ever see this?
I don't know what I find funnier - that the Confession Mobile is a Volkswagen, or that it's a Volkswagen Campmobile.
The Campmobile's pop-top contains a sleeping bunk "upstairs", and the bench seats "downstairs" fold flat to create a queen-sized bed. Not the vehicle/model I'd have chosen to have Catholic Priests tour neighborhoods in!
Dear Alex Murphy,
Some of the Lark News articles have been great, lots of fun.
This one just sorta isn't very.... funny.
As a Catholic, I don't even find it funny enough to be offensive. Or offensive enough to be funny. Unfunny and inoffensive. What a terrible combination.
Sorry.
Maybe the next one will be better. This one just seems to be a dud.
sitetest
Sigh!
I'll miss them. So earnest and indignant.
And the more experienced Freepers pointing out the glaringly obvious to them in the kindest terms they can muster.
Somehow, Freeperworld will be a poorer place without all that fuss and confusion.
Oh, daylight's still burning somewhere on the planet. I'm sure someone will come along presently and take offense at it. Trust me, it happens to me all the time.
Case in point:
Yesterday, I posted a satire about a radio station trying to capture the Amish market. How many Amish FReepers have you encountered in the Religion Forum? And yet, someone's who's not even Amish managed to take offense with it. I'm confident that somewhere, someone's cruising the Internet, looking for something to get offended by. They just haven't found my thread yet.
Did you ever see this?
What are you laughing about? That's not funny. That's intended to be insulting about the Papacy. Should the Catholics put up some of the satire from the Betty Bowers website that insults Baptists? Sheesh!
At one time, I considered this for a tagline "Every time a joke falls flat, the Baby Jesus cries".
Wiser and saner heads convinced me not to.
LOL!
Being Catholic, how did you know about the Betty Bowers site? Do you visit it often? So long as it's not racist or inflammatory, I can't think of any reason why you shouldn't post something from them - it's plain to see we all could use a good laugh. Just make sure the thread is plainly marked as SATIRE (see this very thread for an example), so that no one embarasses themselves and thinks Betty Bowers represents actual Baptist teaching.
ROTFLMAO!!
THAT was funny!!
Alex, you don't know about that website? It makes fun of everybody, Catholics included, and not in a nice way. I don't think you would find it too funny if I posted something from them.
The reason I know about it is because one of my daughters ran across it and was very insulted about how they mock all Christians. I wrote a complaint to them voicing my distaste for their mockery of Christianity. I guess they thought it was "funny" to send an e-mail back to me saying "Repent you doomed sinner or go to hell! I'm a better Christian than you are!"
Trust me.. it's a very inflammatory website.
Much better. And you even have a sense of humor about having a sense of humor :^D
the scary thing is that i immediately understand that TPFKAJR means "The Priest Formerly Known As Joseph Ratzinger."
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