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Empty Pews: Where Did All The Men Go? Gender Gap Threatens Churches' Future
Washington Post ^ | June 10, 2006 | Kristen Campbell and Adelle M. Banks

Posted on 06/13/2006 6:25:48 AM PDT by hiho hiho

"We don't have to have hand-to-hand combat during the worship service to get men there," Murrow said. "We just have to start speaking [their language], use the metaphors they understand and create an environment that feels masculine to them."

"My background is in marketing and advertising, and one day I was sitting in church, and all of a sudden it dawned on me that the target audience of almost everything about church culture was a 50- to 55-year-old woman," said Murrow, a Presbyterian elder who's now a member of a nondenominational congregation in Anchorage.

The gender gap is not a distinctly American one but it is a Christian one, according to Murrow. The theology and practices of Judaism, Buddhism and Islam offer "uniquely masculine" experiences for men, he said.

Concern about the perceived femininization of Christianity-- and the subsequent backlash-- is nothing new.

"These guys have really come out because it's something they can do," Hale said. "They feel like they've made a contribution. . . . I think men like to do things that they feel comfortable doing."

Yet come Sunday morning, "we're going to sing love songs to Jesus and there's going to be fresh flowers on the altar and quilted banners on the walls," Murrow said.

Men aren't the only ones alienated by such an environment. According to Murrow, young people aren't that keen on it either. Both groups are challenge-oriented and appreciate risk, adventure, variety, pleasure and reward-- values some churches "ignore or vilify," according to Murrow.

Churches have to help men and women use their gifts, not just fit them into old religious molds, Murrow said.

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: General Discusssion; Ministry/Outreach; Religion & Culture; Worship
KEYWORDS: christianity; christians; davidmurrow; feminists; gendergap; males
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This had to be trimmed too much, to to the link to read the complete story
1 posted on 06/13/2006 6:25:51 AM PDT by hiho hiho
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To: hiho hiho
I have always been disturbed by the "quilts" on the walls.
2 posted on 06/13/2006 6:29:55 AM PDT by hiho hiho
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To: hiho hiho
i read Murrow's book, "Why Men Hate Going To Church". It made a lot of sense. Though men are the church leaders, women are the 'velvet hammers' who get things done.... the way they want to mainly because they are the ones who spend the bulk of time at church... an interesting item in the book suggests that entire families tend to go to service when the father is involved while only about half a family will attend service if only the mother is involved ....
3 posted on 06/13/2006 6:31:48 AM PDT by InvisibleChurch (No.... wire .... hangers!)
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To: hiho hiho
"And if that's the punch line of the Gospel, then you're going to have a lot more women than men taking you up on your offer because women are interested in a personal relationship with a man who loves you unconditionally. Men, generally, are not."

LOL! Well, a certain type of man is...which probably explains the sudden popularity of the gay marriage issue among Protestant denominations. ;)

4 posted on 06/13/2006 6:36:09 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ("When the government is invasive, the people are wanting." -- Tao Te Ching)
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To: hiho hiho

Plenty of men can be found at churches who subscribe to the Gospel, and not culturally sensitive watered down versions of it.


5 posted on 06/13/2006 6:39:06 AM PDT by mgc1122
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To: Corin Stormhands; Dr. Eckleburg; xzins; P-Marlowe; Revelation 911; jude24; Buggman; HarleyD; ...

What say you?


6 posted on 06/13/2006 6:44:30 AM PDT by blue-duncan
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To: blue-duncan

Thanks for the ping!


7 posted on 06/13/2006 6:52:39 AM PDT by Alamo-Girl
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To: blue-duncan
What say you?

Let me check with the wife first.

8 posted on 06/13/2006 7:02:54 AM PDT by Alex Murphy (Colossians 4:6)
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To: Alex Murphy

"Let me check with the wife first."

You speak for all of us.


9 posted on 06/13/2006 7:09:00 AM PDT by blue-duncan
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To: InvisibleChurch

... and remember when churches were built like Fortresses rather than shopping malls


10 posted on 06/13/2006 7:09:26 AM PDT by hiho hiho
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To: hiho hiho; blue-duncan
IIRC, wasn't there a denomination that had "Onward, Christian Soldiers" removed from it's official hymnal for being too aggressive/militant?
11 posted on 06/13/2006 7:12:48 AM PDT by Alex Murphy (Colossians 4:6)
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To: hiho hiho; Alex Murphy; blue-duncan
... and remember when churches were built like Fortresses rather than shopping malls

I'm telling you...men would rather have a firm handshake in the narthex than put their name on the cookie sign-up sheet in the foyer (or "foi-YAY" as the people in my church call it).

12 posted on 06/13/2006 8:12:51 AM PDT by Frumanchu (quod erat demonstrandum)
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To: blue-duncan; Corin Stormhands; Dr. Eckleburg; xzins; P-Marlowe; Revelation 911; jude24; Buggman; ...

Where are the men?

Two thoughts come to mind:

-men are turned off by Jesus is my boyfriend songs ("Hold me close, wrap your arms around me..")
-men's ministries are patterned after women's ministies. Men want to jump off cliffs into rivers and fish/hunt. Not sit around and talk about their feelings

my 0.02 cents


13 posted on 06/13/2006 10:25:42 AM PDT by Gamecock (a)
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To: Frumanchu; Alex Murphy

ping to 13


14 posted on 06/13/2006 10:26:48 AM PDT by Gamecock (a)
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To: blue-duncan

A church that doesn't force the men to be the leaders quickly becomes feminized and runs the men off. The women eventually follow.

For example, the PCUSA has had women officers for about a generation (slightly longer in some of its component branches). Now, 75% of the deacons and half of the elders are women. Of course, the men have left, but the women are beginning to leave as well.

Here's some free advice for any preachers who are reading. The men don't like to hold hands with the person next to them unless it is an attractive female, preferably his wife, and he doesn't want his wife holding hands with another men. So knock off the 'holding hands' in unity 'stuff'.


15 posted on 06/13/2006 10:35:01 AM PDT by PAR35
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To: PAR35

I agree with you, my old church started to make us do that, I haven't been back since.


16 posted on 06/13/2006 10:46:53 AM PDT by cpprfld (Who said accountants are boring?)
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To: Gamecock; blue-duncan; Corin Stormhands; Dr. Eckleburg; xzins; P-Marlowe; Revelation 911; jude24
lol Probably a combination of both, with some other factors. ("Jesus is my boyfriend songs"--I've got to remember that one.)

In my case, it was the Planck length-thick teaching (and the scowls at those of us who asked difficult questions and pursued deeper issues--not primarily from the leadership, but from the other laity!) that first stirred me to go hunting for a new congregation.

17 posted on 06/13/2006 10:50:34 AM PDT by Buggman (L'chaim b'Yeshua HaMashiach!)
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To: hiho hiho
There are no shortage of Catholic men in church, despite the best efforts of some of the "lavender" clergy to expunge us.



18 posted on 06/13/2006 11:00:46 AM PDT by Antoninus (I don't vote for liberals -- regardless of party.)
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To: PAR35; Frumanchu; Alex Murphy; Corin Stormhands; Dr. Eckleburg; xzins; P-Marlowe; Revelation 911; ..

My previous Pastor worked the third shift at the "flying machine" factory for the twenty years he was Pastor. He had a softball team and played catcher until he was 70. He took men on hunting and fishing trips, used sports metaphors to illustrate scripture and helped do the repairs on the church and parishoners houses. He preached regularly at a rescue mission and if you were a Deacon or Elder you were expected to be there. The church had no problem attracting men and women nor did he have any trouble getting the men to do the work of the ministry. His messages made you think and squirm and there was no place to hide and His Jesus was a real man, a carpenter with rough calloused hands whose humor and message attracted real men like fishermen and yet was non menacing to little children. This Pastor had time for every body even though he had a large family and work to do. He never counselled any one but told them to listen to the sermon, study the scripture and let the Holy Spirit have His way. He led some of the toughest men from WWII to the Lord and encouraged many into the ministry and mission field. You want men, then be a man!


19 posted on 06/13/2006 11:00:50 AM PDT by blue-duncan
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To: Mr. Jeeves
women are interested in a personal relationship with a man who loves you unconditionally. Men, generally, are not.

Well, a certain type of man is...which probably explains the sudden popularity of the gay marriage issue among Protestant denominations.

Tisk, tisk, Catholic brother, play nice or we will bring up the gay priest issue all over again. Not to mention the Rainbow Sashers, etc.

20 posted on 06/13/2006 11:40:08 AM PDT by Rytwyng (Only a Million Minuteman March can stop the Bush Border Betrayal!)
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