Patrol car hit by flying outhouse

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel ^ | Oct. 3, 2003 | LARRY SANDLER

[BraveMan]

A state trooper has survived The Attack of the Flying Toilet.

It sounds like a really bad science-fiction movie from the 1950s, but an airborne outhouse wreaked havoc on a State Patrol car on I-90 near La Crosse on Sunday night, the patrol reported Friday.

Trooper Rich Vanko wasn't hurt, said his supervisor, Sgt. Bruce Holsclaw. His co-workers, however, have dumped a load of off-color jokes on him.

Vanko had stopped to help a stranded motorist change a flat tire and was standing at the side of the road when a truck passed by and "all of a sudden, something hit his car," Holsclaw said.

At first, Vanko thought the truck had struck the patrol car, Holsclaw said. But it soon became apparent that the truck was carrying a shipment of portable toilets, and that one had fallen off.

The toilet shattered the flashing lights atop Vanko's patrol car and dented a fender, causing more than $1,000 in damage, Holsclaw said. Then the toilet bounced back into the highway, where it was hit by another truck and smashed to pieces.

Had the flying toilet hit Vanko at 65 mph, "it quite probably would have injured or killed him," Holsclaw said. "It would have been an interesting eulogy."

Vanko was also lucky that the toilet was empty at the time, Holsclaw noted.

Fellow troopers at the patrol's southwestern district headquarters in Tomah have given Vanko a case of toilet paper and a lot of remarks unprintable in a family newspaper, Holsclaw said.

"The jokes will probably be running for a couple weeks," Holsclaw said.

And even though Vanko is just 28 now, "he knows this sort of thing will probably surface at his retirement dinner," the sergeant added.

[BraveMan]

Holy Sh!t . . .

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[RichInOC]

Where were you when the s**tter hit the fan?

[glock rocks]

crown vic 0
portapotty 1

[BraveMan]

Crossin' the highway late last night,
He shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right,
He didn't see the station wagon, car,
The skunk got squashed and there you are!
(Chorus)
You got yer
Dead skunk in the middle of the road,
Dead skunk in the middle of the road,
Dead skunk in the middle of the road,
Stinkin' to high heaven!
Take a whiff on me that ain't no rose!
Roll up yer window and hold yer nose,
You don't have to look and you don't have to see,
'Cause you can feel it in your olfactory,
(Repeat Chorus)
Yeah you got yer dead cat and you got yer dead dog,
On a moonlight night you got yer dead toad frog
Got yer dead rabbit and yer dead raccoon,
The blood and the guts they're gonna make you swoon!
You got yer dead skunk, in the middle,
Dead skunk in the middle of the road.
Dead skunk in the middle of the road,
Stinkin' to high heaven.
C'mon stink!
(Fiddle break)
You got it,
It's dead, it's in the middle,
Dead skunk in the middle!
Dead skunk in the middle of the road,
Stinkin' to high heaven!
All over the road, technicolor man!
Oh, you got pollution.
It's dead, it's in the middle,
And it's stinkin' to high, high heaven!

Loudon Wainwright Iii

[Sapper26]

I'd love to hear the radio conversation trying to explain this.

[Squantos]

LOLO......Well Crap...........Just Crap !............:o)

Stay safe !

[kingu]

Durn it, that was a delivery from Bob Mulhulland to the New York Times.

[Jeff Chandler]

Patrol car hit by flying outhouse

I hate it when that happens.

[Jeff Chandler]

Just think of the paperwork!

[Aracelis]

Be thankful you didn't have one of these days...

[WOSG]

Well we have had quite a cr*pfest this week, havent we?

- Rush, Arnold, Bush et al gettin' hit all over ... this story is a great metaphor.

[sourcery]

Sh*t Happens, I guess...

Was the trucker cited...for a seat belt violation? Failure to Flush? Losing his head?

[TrappedInLiberalHell]

Gotta love FR. You know that no story about feces, beer, pit bulls, or sex will go unposted.

And I read as many as I can. I'm a sick puppy.

[TrappedInLiberalHell]

Was the trucker cited...for a seat belt violation? Failure to Flush? Losing his head?

No, but he was canned, and his career went down the crapper. Like many guys, he simply won't wash his hands of this whole mess.

[sourcery]

His aim was certainly poor...

[Nam Vet]

In today's light, it's "Holy Shiite!"

Nam Vet

[Mark17]

Then the toilet bounced back into the highway, where it was hit by another truck and smashed to pieces.

Yes, but pieces of what?

[weegee]

John Kerry has stepped forward to take the blame...:

[TrappedInLiberalHell]

Yes, but pieces of what?

Pieces of feces? Bits of sh*t? Flung dung? Pools of stools?