Posted on 09/13/2003 6:59:29 PM PDT by Pan_Yans Wife
More than 1,000 Russian would-be "cyber-brides" are lobbying the US Congress to halt laws aimed at protecting them from exploitation.
The women, who are members of the biggest American-owned dating agency that recruits in the former Soviet Union, claim that the new laws would destroy their hopes of finding husbands over the internet. A bill passing through Congress would force American matchmaking agencies - mostly run from websites - to give foreign women details of the marital history and any criminal record of suitors.
Supporters say that the move - inspired by the death of Anastasia King, 20, who was killed on the orders of her American husband - is designed to protect the estimated 5,000 cyber-brides or "mail order" brides who enter the United States every year from violent husbands.
But about 1,200 women registered in Russia with the agency A Foreign Affair have signed a petition claiming that the new law is patronising. "I don't want to know this kind of information about a man when we're getting acquainted," said Yelena Kostennikova, 32, a designer from St Petersburg, who is seeking an "honest, dependable, sensual man". "If there is something wrong, I'd prefer to find out later in the relationship. If you meet a man in a bar you don't ask about his criminal record."
Galia Elpacheva, 19, a law student, said: "It's an issue that touches human dignity. It would be humiliating and inconvenient to demand these details every time a man wanted to contact me."
The new law - known officially as the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act - is being seen in the US as the most serious effort yet to impose federal controls over a loosely regulated internet-based industry. The bill was drafted after Anastasia, from Kyrgyzstan, was murdered by her American husband Indle King Jr, 39.
King's first wife had obtained a protective order against him in 1995 and the bill's supporters say that Anastasia might have lived had she known that.
As it was, the gifted singer and pianist was matched by an international marriage agency with King, a portly, balding warehouse clerk. Seeking a new life outside her impoverished homeland, she married her much older suitor in 1998.
Her diary, found after her death, claimed that King had threatened to kill her if she left him. In December 2000, Anastasia's body was found in a shallow grave 30 miles from her home. Under interrogation the couple's lodger - who was possibly Indle King's gay lover - admitted strangling her "at the request and direction of King".
The bill was introduced in the Senate and the House of Representatives in July. If passed, the law would restrict the activity of international marriage brokers - mostly online agencies that charge bachelors a fee for contact details. So-called marriage brokers would also be required to ask clients about any criminal convictions, including protective orders.
John Adams, owner of A Foreign Affair, described the legislation as "ludicrous". "There's a perception that these ladies are poor defenceless creatures who need protection, but they are quite all right," he said. "We inform them of their rights so they know they are not obliged to stay with an abusive husband. There is no evidence to suggest these women are more susceptible to domestic violence.
" A report by the US Department of Justice in 1999 found no direct link between cyber-marriages and domestic violence, but concluded: "The argument that immigrant women in mail order marriages are more at risk of abuse seems plausible, given the discrepancy in power between a [US citizen] and his immigrant spouse."
"I don't want to know this kind of information about a man when we're getting acquainted," said Yelena Kostennikova, 32, a designer from St Petersburg, who is seeking an "honest, dependable, sensual man".
Sounds like this type of man does not want an inquistive or questioning wife.
I can't believe that 1,200 Russian women all would rather not know. More likely they thought doing what the owners of the service wanted would enhance their chances of success.
By the way, knowing about criminal background would hardly insure men with records couldn't get a bride. I know there have been FR threads about European women who start by being pen pals with an American man on death row and then want to marry him.
A new law good enough for the rusky woman,but not for American women?
Why, I'll file a lawsuit,this is discrimitory against American women trying to find husbands over the internet!
This is a stupid congress,a stupid proposed law and a stupid way to meet a husband or wife.
It's not just European women who do this, there are plenty of American women too. It's a liberal pathology.
They are angry and aggrieved that a more "traditional" woman, who is often going to have conservative views about govt and family, would get the nod over their shrill selves.
Well...Actually marrying for a meal ticket has a long and rich tradition.
However it was expected that you pay up in the form of sticking around, having his kids, running his house and being faithful.
Many of these women don't seem to be doing that.
How right you are!!! I don't understand why supposedly intelligent men (some right here at FR) don't understand this. They get suckered into the "feminine, not feminist" illusion these women put forth. Dollars to donuts says once these women get their citizenship papers, they'll file for divorce faster than you can say alimony! These women live in a society where deception is required in order to survive. The average American male is blinded by his hunger for a "traditional" (non-feminist) wife. Sadly, by the time they realize they've been deceived, it will be too late.
Maybe it's because we know people who have actually married women from former USSR and/or other countries like the Philippines?
You don't get played if you are not a player. One guy went over there and regaled us on a closed mailing list with tales of his exploits with other women while courting his main squeeze. OF course when she got here the relationship lasted 5 months before SHE was the one who was out all night partying with other guys.
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