Memo to Fox: Hire Al Franken (Coulter mentioned)

BusinessWeek Onlin ^ | Thu Sep 4, 8:29 AM ET | By Ciro Scotti

[Forgiven_Sinner]

Is that boo-hooing I hear coming from Fox News, just across 48th Street from BusinessWeek headquarters in New York? Well, maybe I'm hearing things. But it sure is heart-warming to imagine Fox's supersized boss Roger Ailes and his fair-and-balanced band blubbering from the slap in the face a federal judge delivered to them recently.

Fox had sued left-wing comedian and political satirist Al Franken for using the words "fair and balanced" in the title of his new book, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right. The network that has wrapped itself, mummy-like, in the flag tried to deny Franken his constitutional right to free speech and self-expression by contending that the words "fair and balanced" implied an endorsement of the book by Fox. It is, of course, the self-described "fair and balanced" network, at least by its own definition.

On Aug. 22, U.S. District Court Judge Denny Chin in Manhattan dismissed the suit, in essence telling Fox, owned by Aussie emigre Rupert Murdoch, to get a life and a sense of humor.

CRY-BABY. Now Fox, and especially its blustery everyman host Bill O'Reilly, are the laughingstock of Media City. Laughing hardest is Franken, a hilarious and sometimes abrasive ex-writer and performer on Saturday Night Live (news - Y! TV) whose previous books include Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations. With a little help from his enemies at Fox, Lies and the Lying Liars is now the #2 best-selling book on Amazon.com, as of Sept. 3, and has also just grabbed the top spot on The New York Times Best-Seller List.

Bullies always whimper when they get the bejeezus beat out of them, especially by a nerdy-looking guy with glasses [Franken's comedic persona], and especially when such a big crowd is watching the fisticuffs. But Fox isn't just a bully, it's a sorry sport. In deciding not to further pursue its complaint against Franken, the network said in a statement on Aug. 25: "It's time to return Al Franken to the obscurity he is normally accustomed to." Ooo! Ouch!

If the warrior network wants to show that it's man enough to take a licking in a fair fight and get on with being so balanced, it ought to hire Franken, not belittle him. Right now, the most liberal among all the conservative voices on Fox is Alan Colmes of Hannity & Colmes. Colmes is the weak sister to Sean Hannity, the overheated patriot who has never pulled on a pair of combat boots.

KILLER BARBIE. Why not a political shouting show that pits Franken against one of Fox's conservative firebrands? O'Reilly, who reportedly badgered Fox to sue Franken, wouldn't do it. His own show is too successful and in umpteen news reports about the suit, clips on rival CNN showed O'Reilly squaring off against Franken during a panel discussion at a book-industry convention -- and completely losing it. Fox, which suggested in its suit that Franken was "unstable," might want to look at those clips of O'Reilly brought to a boil.

Here's my choice: Ann Coulter, the cable talk show uber-guest and blond-haired darling of the right. Franken would have a much tougher time goading this unflappable siren of conservatism. The Joe McCarthy-loving Barbie-look-alike has a book of her own out now, Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism, just like Franken. It's No. 47 on Amazon.com's best-seller list. A true-believing liberal vs. a true-believing goddess of whitebread would be a ratings-grabber for Fox. But perhaps it's far too risky for Ailes, O'Reilly, and the network's other cheesy-patriotism peddlers. What they don't want is to strike a balance by giving a forum to a lefty with a bruisingly funny left hook.

[Forgiven_Sinner]

A wildly liberal review of Al Franken v. Fox case, but with some good nuggets: Ann is called "Killer Barbie"--I think she'd like that; a proposed Al Franken v. Ann Coulter show--I'd love to see it, but I think it'd be boring for the general public seeing Al get beaten up. But Ann may make up for that. What do you think?

I report, you decide.

[sauropod]

Have an e-mail for this schlub?

[kinghorse]

If it's the ballerina Ron Reagan jr., I'll claw my eyes out and Van Gogh my ears. What a loser. Can Franken hold up a little better against Coulter than Ron Jr.?

[alnick]

Patriotism is cheesy, according to this creep. Isn't that nice?

Coulter is way out of Franken's league. She'd have him whimpering before the end of the first episode.

[mbynack]

My money is on Ann. Franken isn't good under pressure and Ann would fry him. It would be worth it just to watch Franken spriral into the ceiling.

[FredWolfe]

Al Franken is a liar, just like all the other "mainstream" liberals. They lie to get out their agenda, they bend the truth to their will, and the majority of them are hypocrites.

[bolobaby]

Leave it up to this liberal-lover to distort the facts. Notice the mention that Coulter's book is #47 on Amazon? Yeah, NOW. What about when it first came out?

Or how about accusing Alan Colmes of being the most liberal voice on the network? Riiiiight. Alan doesn't get me half as angry as the regular contributions of, say, Susan Estrich or Eleanor Clift.

Ultimately, it sounds like another sore loser that Fox News is gaining popularity. Too bad, so sad. Who's crying now?

[StoneColdTaxHater]

I fear a franken vs Couler show would devolce into a weekly screaming match. I have heard that Franken gets unhinged when cornered and things don't go his way.

[bolobaby]

by the way... ciro_scotti@businessweek.com.

[Forgiven_Sinner]

Here you go, Ciro's email:

ciro_scotti@businessweek.com

Knock yourself out! ;)

[sauropod]

Tonight. When i get home from work ;-).

[ko_kyi]

Defending a trademark is hardly the same as trying to stop him from publishing ANY book. This free speech defense is crap.

If I wrote a book called "Live from New York, It's Saturday Night and Al Franken still sucks" I suspect that NBC would want me to change the title as well.

[Tallguy]

Coulter v. Franken? Hmmmm? At first blush it sounds interesting, but like all liberals, Al Franken is long on assertions & short on facts. Coulter would slice him 'n dice him.

[LibWhacker]

Ciro Scotti

[RedsHunter]

Bullies always whimper when they get the bejeezus beat out of them, especially by a nerdy-looking guy with glasses [Franken's comedic persona], and especially when such a big crowd is watching the fisticuffs.

Au contrair! I seem to recall a recent blurb on NewsMax relating how Franken did an in-your-face challenge to a group of Fox folks at some correspondents dinner, and that Franken was later seen nursing a bloody nose.

[88keys]

Defending a trademark is hardly the same as trying to stop him from publishing ANY book. This free speech defense is crap.

If I wrote a book called "Live from New York, It's Saturday Night and Al Franken still sucks" I suspect that NBC would want me to change the title as well.

Good point. Franken's book jacket also has photos of TV's, tuned to Fox News and showing Bill O'Reilly among others. It does seem O'Reilly would have a case against his literal image being used to promote Franken's book?!

[SpinyNorman]

Bullies always whimper when they get the bejeezus beat out of them, especially by a nerdy-looking guy with glasses [Franken's comedic persona],....

I have news for you, that's no "comedic persona," that is really him. The fairy in the pink sweater with all the 16 step programs was a comedic persona. Then again........

[skeeter]

Why not a political shouting show that pits Franken against one of Fox's conservative firebrands?

Excellent idea. Pit Franken against Dennis Miller.

Money couldn't buy that kind of entertainment.

[Charlie OK]

thats a great idea. Maybe the guy who wrote Al Franken is a buck-toothed moron could use that title for his follow-up.

[weegee]

The Killer Barbies are a band (that has been around in Spain for over 6 years). He probably overheard it from his kids (they are slowly getting introduced to America, their film came out on US DVD last year).