Dear John Paul: Don't even think about it (Barf Alert!)

Globe and Mail ^ | Saturday, August 9, 2003 | HEATHER MALLICK

[swilhelm73]

Canada is a secular nation. I love you for that, beautiful Canada. Secularism means great things. Churchy people of any brand have no say in government, and that's all she wrote.

The Pope and the elderly men he appoints as archbishops are snubbed when they pipe up on fishing quotas and the question of whether the Trans-Canada should get a third lane. The mullahs get a blank look from MPs when they favour charcoal briquettes over propane.

Worldwide, we look at religion's excesses: The Orange marching and adulterer-stoning, bits of Nigerian child sacrifices washing up in the Thames, banning condoms, Magdalene laundries, sodomite bashing and fighting over stupid hats, making women uber-bathe once a month because menstruating women stink. All that rudeness and cruelty: We don't do that in Canada.

Or so I thought.

Apparently, we let our guard down, as has Britain, where Tony Blair, emulating George W. Bush, is openly making his government "faith-based" and officially Christian and will now end his speeches with "God bless you."

Churchists see a chink in the Canadian secular armour. The Pope has actually ordered Catholic MPs to vote against a bill allowing gays to marry, and some of these MPs, who ran for office without mentioning they had a secret boss and it wasn't voters, are going to obey. What grubby little people we elect: Obsessed with sex, they don't realize that marriage is so much more. It's companionship, it's support, both moral and fiscal, it's backup, it's "the smile of Garbo and the scent of roses," it's these foolish things that remind me of you.

And why shouldn't gays have it too?

Get out your scythes, putative yokels, and sever the ears of ye suspiciously short-haired women and slender men of good taste! It's time to mock homosexuals, remind them that any affection they feel doesn't deserve recognition, only contempt, and that the sex they have is revolting, even more tufted and foul-smelling than what men and women do.

No. Canadians won't have it.

Women know what religious bullying feels like. We're used to it. The rights feminists won were human rights and they extend to gays too. MPs may think gays are such a small minority that giving them the equivalent of a boot to the ribs of a broken man in a park at night won't lose them many votes, but it will. Canadians think gay marriage is okay. Furthermore, they don't like bullying and the brutes who do it. Any MPs who join the gay-bashing gang are going to suffer in the next election, and not just because they lied to voters about whom they answer to.

I must calm myself.

The fact is, I know nothing about religion. It bores me. As Bertrand Russell wrote, I am opposed to all superstition: Muslim, Christian, Jewish or Buddhist. If you think it's odd that I believe I'm descended from apes, I won't say what I think of virgin births. I am appalled to be told the religion of Paul Martin. I didn't want to know. Surely it is a private matter.

I don't know the religion (if any) of my friends. For the purposes of research, I tried politely to find out.

I asked the woman I admire most, a Roman Catholic, if she attended church. She rolled her eyes. "Like I have time for that?"

I asked a friend (Catholic?) why she had one kid, not eight. "Because I had a hysterectomy six years ago. You visited me in hospital."

Another definite Catholic attended church "because she was used to it."

I asked my Scottish mother if we'd ever had any God-botherers in the family. "Heather, don't be daft."

I asked a beautiful young friend who might be Muslim how devout she was. "Scarves give you hat head like you wouldn't believe. You have to draw the line somewhere."

I do know one definite Catholic. Is it sexy to sit in a small dark room and talk filth to a stranger through a screen, I asked him. "I'm married," he said indignantly. "I don't go downtown." "I meant confession, you silly man," I said. "Oh. No, I don't do that either."

Why is it religious adherents are generally so much gentler than the men who run their churches? My friends are unlikely gay bashers, especially if they're gay. As for gay priests, they always puzzled me, but they must be suicidal now, preaching against themselves.

This is too complicated.

I once dreamed I would be a crusading columnist. I needed a single unique issue on which to plant my flag. Many are taken. Terence (Corky) Corcoran fights consumer safety ("Vinyl toys: Let your baby lick them"). Mark Kingwell fights for logic. Michele Landsberg has feminism.

But now I'm so angry I've found my métier. I hate bullying. My hate, honed by years of feminism, burns brighter each year. I will seek out bullying wherever it lurks and fight it with words.

I will start with the Pope importing cruelty into this country, which must be fought by every civilized voter. I'm telling Pope John Paul II: This is my country. Don't you dare.

[swilhelm73]

This is why you can't trust liberals to safe guard your freedom;

Secularism means great things. Churchy people of any brand have no say in government, and that's all she wrote.

So this would be tyrant believes that her government can and should deny a whole class of people the right to particpate in what is supposed to be their government, too, based on their religion. This is by definition religious discrimination.

I wonder if there are any other groups she would like to disenfranchise, or just plain hates, which bring us too;

My hate, honed by years of feminism, burns brighter each year.

Feminism is based on hate, and in unguarded moments, feminists will admit it, as we see here.

[L.N. Smithee]

Obsessed with sex, they don't realize that marriage is so much more. It's companionship, it's support, both moral and fiscal, it's backup, it's "the smile of Garbo and the scent of roses," it's these foolish things that remind me of you. And why shouldn't gays have it too?

Oh, you mean you wonderful, purely secular Canadians didn't allow it already?

What took you so long? </sarcasm>

[Mr. Mojo]

Tony Blair, emulating George W. Bush, is openly making his government "faith-based" and officially Christian and will now end his speeches with "God bless you."

Leftists didn't say a damn thing when Bill Clinton used the word 'God' in his speeches, and he used it quite a lot. But when Bush does it it somehow translates in their feeble brains to a "faith-based" gov't who doesn't recognize the seperation between church and state.

[Mr. Mojo]

who = that

[Deathmonger]

And why shouldn't gays have it too?

And necropheliacs! And the guy from the horse story! And that guy from American Pie!

I foresee a long line at the courthouse for marriage certificates.

[Ronin]

To all of which, I say to them -- Fine -- leave the Church. Do not call yourself Catholic. Do not attempt to partake of the Holy Host.

Why is this so hard for some people? I am not even a Catholic and I can figure this out.

The way I understand it, the Roman Catholic Church is not a democracy, it isn't even a republic. The rules are not set by trend or fashion.

The rules are laid down in simple terms and everyone has the right to accept or reject them.

Don't like the rules? Don't let the doorknob hit you on the way out the door.

[hellinahandcart]

making women uber-bathe once a month because menstruating women stink.

What the bleepity-bleep is she talking about? Anyone have a clue?

[spodefly]

... making women uber-bathe once a month because menstruating women stink.

What the bleepity-bleep is she talking about? Anyone have a clue?

In her quest, under the guise of secular enlightenment, to show an equal-opportunity disdain for people of religion, she is referring to the Jewish Mikvah, which is essentially a ritual bath, and comparing it to stoning adulterers, child sacrifices, and other examples of the "excesses" of religion.

Apparently, she does not possess an excess of ability to discriminate one thing from the next, and would choose to villify and marginalize anyone that isn't as secular and progressive as herself.

[blanknoone]

"Secularism means great things. Churchy people of any brand have no say in government, and that's all she wrote."

This demonstrates so much: Liberals want power and control, not democratic control of a properly limited gov't. They are hateful. They are convinced they are morally right, while denouncing morality and ignoring decades of compelling evidence that they are fundamentally wrong on virtually everything.

And all this from an atheist...

[hellinahandcart]

In her quest, under the guise of secular enlightenment, to show an equal-opportunity disdain for people of religion, she is referring to the Jewish Mikvah, which is essentially a ritual bath

That's it??? Good Lord. This Heather creature needs to uber-bathe her mind. Daily.

[Salman]

Jewish women don't "uber-bathe" once a month. They merely bathe. These days they tend to bathe every day, but in a world were non-Jews didn't bathe at all, the monthly bath was tour-de-force of sanitation.

There are all kinds of rules about bathing, not just for women.

In this case, it is one of the few times that modern secular standards (bathing daily) are more stringent that religious ones.

By the way, converts to Judaism also "uber-bathe". Christians "uber-bathe", too. They call it baptism.

[happygrl]

the sex they have is revolting, even more tufted

And what the H is she talking about here ?????

Nevermind. I probably don't want to know....

[pyx]

This THING'S email address is;

hmallick@globeandmail.ca

Churchy people of any brand have no say in government, and that's all she wrote.

This LEFTIST would deny anyone who attends a Church any participation in government.

My hate honed by years of feminism, burns brighter each year.

By IT'S own admission, the columns written by a 'Canadian media elite' in "Canada's national newpaper" is governered by feminist hate. Also of note is that the focus of feminist teachings appears to be that of hate. Under Canadian laws, isn't this an example of "Hate Speech" ?

Are there any Canadians with guts to take on a LEFTIST like this ?

[GirlShortstop]

But now I'm so angry I've found my métier.   I hate bullying. My hate, honed by years of feminism, burns brighter each year.  I will seek out bullying wherever it lurks and fight it with words.

Now THAT'S a healthy way to live!     </sarcasm OFF>

[YankeeReb]

It's companionship, it's support, both moral and fiscal, it's backup, it's "the smile of Garbo and the scent of roses," it's these foolish things that remind me of you.

Really??? I always thought it was the bedrock upon which the family (and thus society) was built. Marriage is traditionally given special regard by all societies (property rights, inheretence rights, tax breaks for dependents) because somewhere along the line the human race learned that the children produced in stable families kept the species going. The other stuff (the smile of Garbo and the scent of roses,") is a nice benifit and a modern notion. When you look at marriage in the traditional sense the prohibitions against incest, adultury, same sex marriage make perfect sense. If marriage is simply based on sexual attraction and nothing more than anything goes.

[hellinahandcart]

And what the H is she talking about here ?????

Well, "tufted" to me implies a crest of feathers and...I just don't want to know from sex props today. It's Sunday...

[spodefly]

What is most stunning to me is that she equates the mikvah with stoning and child sacrifice ... obviously she not only has limited capacity to grasp distinctions between very different things, but is inclined to group all things 'religious' into an 'all are equally bad' category -- Something like saying "Jewish women take a ritual bath, muslims fly planes into buildings ... same difference."

[Aliska]

I hate bullying.

Then quit bullying Christians.

[B Knotts]

The Know-Nothings have returned. This time with a lisp.

[Salman]

Something like saying "Jewish women take a ritual bath, muslims fly planes into buildings ... same difference."

You see a lot of that. No sense of proportion. Remember all the comparisons between Ashcroft and the Taliban?