. . . . . . . . . . Arc de Reddition
Posted on 03/14/2003 5:54:23 PM PST by wimpycat
WHEREAS, the country formerly known as France is in fact Iraq's largest trading partner;
WHEREAS, the current president of the country previously known as France, formerly known as Jacques Chiraq, did, as foreign minister of the country previously known as France, refer to the dictator of Iraq, Saddam Hussein, as a “personal friend”;
WHEREAS, the country formerly known as France has declared in no uncertain terms that it will use its Security Council veto to block any resolution threatening force against its client state, Iraq;
WHEREAS, the country formerly known as France has decided to renege on its commitment to Security Council Resolution 1441, of which the country formerly known as France was a prime author not six months ago, thereby further demonstrating to the world its propensity for perfidy, a skill for which the country formerly known as France has proved breathtakingly adroit throughout its entire history;
WHEREAS, the country formerly known as France demonstrated the true level of commitment to the preservation of the dictator of its client state, Iraq, by rejecting a British compromise proposal to the UN Security Council even before its client state, Iraq, did;
WHEREAS, the country formerly known as France has made it clear in no uncertain terms that its aim is simply to oppose the exercise of American political and military strength regardless of the justness of the cause in eliminating the murderous dictator of Iraq;
WHEREAS, the country formerly known as France has engaged in a concerted effort to thwart, topple, and otherwise interfere with, the current leadership of Great Britain, the United States’ closest ally, as a means of vengeance against said leadership’s failure and/or refusal to wholly subjugate the sovereignty of Great Britain to the entity known as the European Union, of which the country previously known as France is the de-facto leader and author of its proposed Constitution;
WHEREAS, the country formerly known as France has shown evidence of its presumption, perpetually wounded ego, jealousy of superior powers, lust for petty regional tyranny and willingness to take out its frustration on weaker nations by verbally insulting, threatening, and otherwise intimidating Eastern European candidate countries for membership into the entity known as the European Union, of which the country previously known as France is the de-facto leader and author of its proposed Constitution, merely because said Eastern European countries exercised their respective freedoms as newly sovereign nations by becoming signatories to a letter drafted by the leader of Spain in support of the position of the United States’ intentions with respect to Iraq;
In accordance with the declarations set forth above, it is hereby resolved that henceforth, the country formerly known as France will no longer be referred to or considered as an "ally", "partner" or "friend", and that all correspondence issued hereinafter shall simply call that nation "Iraq's largest trading partner" until further notice (or until Iraq's largest trading partner finds another dictator subject to removal by America with whom to ally itself). It is hereby further resolved that the president of the country formerly known as France, the president formerly known as Jacques Chiraq, will alternately be referred to or named as “Saddam’s Sugar-Daddy” or “Jacques Iraq”. The inhabitants and citizens of the country formerly known as France will continue to be referred to or named as "the Frogs" and "Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys".
As a testament to the creative superiority and humor inherent in the English language and English speaking peoples, and further, to demonstrate the true level of esteem in which the country formerly known as France is held by English speaking peoples, the country formerly known as France may, as an alternative, be referred to or described as “The Nora Desmond of the Security Council”, "The Unstable, Vindictive Sister-in-Law of NATO", "The-Bitter-Middle-Aged-Divorcee-Whose Highest-Achievement-Was-High-School-Homecoming-Queen of the Western World", "The Old Whore of Old Europe", or, for those who prefer simplicity in truth, "The Perfidous French".
Feel free to become a signatory to this resolution.
WHEREAS it is a crime in the country formerly known as France to disrespect the French national anthem, the anthem of the new country will be "Ready to Run" by the former US group, the Dixie Chicks.
. . . . . . . . . . Arc de Reddition
That's great!
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