Posted on 03/04/2002 8:46:55 AM PST by Ditter
Laughter is good and we all need to laugh while we can, who knows what tomorrow brings.
AXII OF ALL KINDS OF STUFF
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Lybia, China and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil, which they said, would be far MORE evil than the Iran-Iraq-North Korean axis Presiden Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Hafez Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can have only three, and a secret handshake".
THE AXIS PANDEMIC International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs.
Cuba, Sudan and Serbia said they formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somilia to join Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasional Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia establised the Axis of Not So Much Evil As Just Generally Disagreeable.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked To Host the Olympics.
Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America.
While Spain, Scotland and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed To Ask Sheep To Wear Lipstick. "That's not a threat, really, just something that we like to do". said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, altho he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Parguay, Uraguay and Chadguay denied the charges.
That's absolutely the worst pun I've heard in years. Thanks!!
Osama bin Laden phoned President George W. Bush. "I had a dream about the United States," he said. "I could see the whole country, and over every building and home was a banner," said bin Laden.
"What was on the banner?" asked President Bush.
"LONG LIVE OSAMA!" answered the terrorist scum.
"I am so glad that you called," said President Bush, "because I too had a dream. In my dream, I saw Afghanistan and it was more beautiful than ever; totally rebuilt, and over every building and home was a big, beautiful banner."
"What did the banner say?" asked Osama.
"I don't know," answered President Bush, "I can't read Hebrew.
This place is crawling with them!
I love that picture. Mr. Teacup is home today. He'll get a big kick out of this.
Did you see Whoopie Goldberg talking to Chris Mathews this past week end? She was a comedy awards event in Colorado. She said, she liked Bush and how he's stepped up to the plate and has taken on the war effort. Anyway she had a joke.
"Do you know how to find Osama? Get the Child support people to look him up." HA! HA! I thought that was funny.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.