AXII OF ALL KINDS OF STUFF

Laughter is good and we all need to laugh while we can, who knows what tomorrow brings.

AXII OF ALL KINDS OF STUFF

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Lybia, China and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil, which they said, would be far MORE evil than the Iran-Iraq-North Korean axis Presiden Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.

"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Hafez Assad.

"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can have only three, and a secret handshake".

THE AXIS PANDEMIC International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs.

Cuba, Sudan and Serbia said they formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somilia to join Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasional Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia establised the Axis of Not So Much Evil As Just Generally Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked To Host the Olympics.

Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America.

While Spain, Scotland and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed To Ask Sheep To Wear Lipstick. "That's not a threat, really, just something that we like to do". said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, altho he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Parguay, Uraguay and Chadguay denied the charges.

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Lybia, China and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil, which they said, would be far MORE evil than the Iran-Iraq-North Korean axis Presiden Bush warned of in his State of the Union address. . . . . .
While Spain, Scotland and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed To Ask Sheep To Wear Lipstick. "That's not a threat, really, just something that we like to do". said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

A little off topic, except it is PUNny. . .

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....what? (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good.) A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was a woman who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
hey, Snow Bunny & FallGuy!
i couldn't remember if i posted
this joke on USO thread or not.
sorry if this a repeat for ya'll. . .

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