Failure to recgonize and render proper respect to this man will result in an ass kicking.
Posted on 01/12/2002 3:55:44 PM PST by jslade
Purt neer the ONLY sweet tea!
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of bein' right.
3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice doesn't mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
6. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cookin', let alone eatin'.
7. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
8. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitatin' a southern accent.
9. Get used to hearin', "You ain't from around here, are ya?"
10. People walk slower here.
11. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
12. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
13. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
14. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he'll ever say.
15. Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinkin' on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.
16. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.
17. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter if you need anything from the store, it's just something you're supposed to do.
18. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.
19. As you are cursin' the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.
20. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off tryin' to find it your own self.
In the south, tea refers to iced tea, no matter the season. Once you've ordered tea, you're given a choice by the waitress "sweet or un". If your tea is served without enough ice cubes (enough is as many as will fit in the glass before the tea is poured)you know your waitress/waiter is not from the south. It is a southerner's duty to educate that person by demanding more ice.
You are talking about South Florida (i.e. Palm Beach County, Broward, Miami Dade). That is another country. Orlando north is the South. Believe it!
That is so true. I can't stop laughing. There are more Ohio license plates than South Carolina plates in Myrtle Beach.
My biggest problem is that my daughter grew up here in Flor'da; win I ask her for a "pin" (so ah kin write sumthin'), she keeps giving me a straight pen -- lack those we use to hold on are head coverings. She takes ok to correcting, tho'...she kin speak fine win she recalls to.
ROTFL!!
Maybe true... but the South needed to repel Grant at Vickburg as well, which was a more critical loss to the South. (or if you fought a hit and run war based on the mountains) BTW if the "War for States Rights" were fought today "you would kick their ass"...in addition, read "Blacks in Grey" to subdue yankee claim it was about slavery. As Longstreet said we should have freed the slaves then fired at Fort Sumter
Yup. Even my favorite Chinese restaurant here in Mobile makes a fine glass of iced sweet tea.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.