Posted on 01/07/2024 3:35:33 AM PST by marktwain
Have more coffee before you make analogies that make no sense....
At the time it was the craziest thing that ever happened to me. I also learned not to get involved other than offering advice.
What saddens me is the fact according to the article, “… she's gotten five no contact orders and an order of protection against him” that women are fooled into thinking these pieces of parchment have any value whatsoever! It’s dangerous, disgusting and yet more reason to despise the dimocRAT party who hate victims of crime.
Abuse victims NEED more than parchment, they need separation from the predator if the predator cannot be incarcerated and they need to be given self defense training, separation anxiety assistance and a gun with ammo and training how to use it when the abuser comes to strangle her or kick her ass some other way.
Of the subset of women who crave the excitement, you will find some who like goading and provoking their men.
They get excitement from seeing how close to the edge they can push the guy. It was this observation that got feminists angry at Erin Pizzy.
She armed herself and then set him up. Instead of going back that final time, she should have stayed away instead of formulating a plan to kill him. Press charges and have him sent away — it’s not like nobody will believe her in this day and age.
Hmmm . . . “hot-headed redhead.” Is that you, Maureen O’Hara, posting from the Great Beyond?
Nope, before my time. I wasn’t movie star pretty either.
“According to Women Against Abuse, a domestic violence nonprofit, it takes an average of seven attempts for a survivor to leave their abuser and stay separated for good.”
“...she’s gotten five no contact orders and an order of protection against him.”
5 no contact orders + 1 protection order + 1 shooting = 7 attempts to stay separated for good.
Right on target...
—-> Press charges and have him sent away — it’s not like nobody will believe her in this day and age.
Takes time. Often nothing happens.
She remains in danger.
Often her (or his, depending on which is prone to murder or mayhem) danger ratchets up with court involvement, nor can she (or he) trust the court to act wisely or even legally.
Petty gods in black robes.
Goading and provoking her man: like that evening actor Will Smith publicly slapped a comedian at an awards ceremony for cracking a minor joke about Will’s wife.
Many think Jada’s angry look at her husband propelled him into foolish, violent action.
Just FYI...I have a pretty fair command of the English language. And that includes its many subtleties.
I think it’s demonstrated there was ample time to pursue more long-lasting legal action over this span of time. And she could have kept her distance any number of times. Instead, she apparently baited him.
Not addressing psychological reasons why she kept going back to him, etc.
Will Smith was laughing initially, until he saw Jada’s expression.
I have no doubt that he thought that, unless he did something very publicly to “defend his wife’s honor”, that she would make his life Hell.
Will Smith is a classic case of the psychologically beaten-down husband.
She wanted him, she got him, tough sh*t.
A PW POW?
Lol, probably.
“Just leave.”
So easy to say.
I know a woman who thought the house belonged to her fiance. She moved in with the baby, age under 2.
Within a year she knew it wasn’t her house or even his, it belonged to a friend of his.
The physical abuse compelled her to leave.
She was outside the house with the baby and the clothes on her back. Wanted to go to a shelter. Police would not let her go in the house, nor would they go in. “Not her house.” Everything she had was in there, including her wallet, her ID, baby items, everything.
Shelter rules? You can stay up to six months, then you have to find yourself a place. With no income. No ID.
Took her another four years to escape, and after that attempt she was not allowed to use the phone or go out. Threats of kidnapping the baby convinced her to stay put and suffer.
Once the baby was of school age and talking, the odds started going in her favor and the abuser found a younger victim.
As for protection orders, abusers don’t respect paper.
I agree, when the person is an honest and decent person instead of a lying abuser getting to know them will work.
The problem with abusive men is that, unless they’re very stupid (and sometimes when they are), they hide their true colors early in the relationship and are very charming and seemingly kind, considerate, and thoughtful. They can play this part for years if necessary.
Many of these abusive types look for a woman who will be devoted to being married (or to the relationship) and will be unlikely to leave, such as a devoted Christian woman who is against divorce.
The woman’s being fatherless or having a father or parents who do not support the woman is a bonus for the abuser because he knows that eventually it will be very hard for her to get away.
These creeps charm the woman early on and then begin the abuse slowly, especially after marriage or after having children together.
(One of the first things these abusers do is separate their partner from her support system. This will eventually leave the woman isolated and alone. This is why it’s important to stay in touch with the person who is abused even if it’s annoying and tests a person’s patience because if she does decide to get away she will need support.)
Initially, abusers are oh so sorry about that slap or push and make up with flowers and more charm in order to keep the woman thinking that it won’t happen again and he really cares about her and that things will work out.
As more children are born into the household it becomes more and more difficult for the woman to leave and the abuse ramps up.
When the woman threatens or tries to leave the abuser pursues her and begs her to stay, telling her how he loves her with promises to change and even with threats of suicide. He just can’t live without her.
How can this woman hurt him so badly and possibly leave her children without a father? She has been purposefully placed into the position of making a very tough decision after being isolated from any support system she had in the past and also after being beaten down emotionally.
If she does actually leave and he thinks she means it he is extremely dangerous because the whole thing is really about control and often he will do anything to keep his control over her, including killing her.
This is a classic cycle. I’ve seen seen it thousands of times because for years I worked exclusively with victims of domestic violence.
(Yes, there are exceptions and of course the abuser isn’t always a man and the abused person isn’t always a woman.)
The best armor against domestic abuse is having good, strong fathers who love their daughters.
There is abuse, and there is the abuse industry.
Many, if not most, women who are abused get little or no benefit from the abuse industry. They don’t want to use it, their boyfriends know just how to manipulate it, or they don’t want their boyfriends to get in trouble, or they want to get back to their boyfriends.
On the other hand, mean and abusive women know just how to use the system for purposes of vindication or divorce, and innocent and naive men who get sucked into it, who have trust in the system, get chewed up by it.
The woman’s being fatherless or having a father or parents who do not support the woman is a bonus for the abuser because he knows that eventually it will be very hard for her to get away.
***********************
I think that’s what saved my mom from physical abuse. My grandfather (her father) would have killed him in a heartbeat.
Dad mellowed out when he got old and truly loved us and Mom, but he was a lot like his grandfather. My grandfather, his dad, was one of the gentlest men I knew but his dad was a tyrant. He was born in 1865 and the fists flew before his brain was engaged. I knew my GGfather and he was gentle with me but he knocked my grandmother out of her chair a few times. That caused a lot of problems between my grandparents. Dad must have spent too much time with him growing up. LOL The violence seems to skip a generation. I’m not a hitter but my daughter is.
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