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Welcome to the Flash Dunce Credit Card, brought to you by the social justice economic policies and demagogic genius of your heroes: Crazy Bernie and America's Outrageous Con-Artist (AOC).
Modeled after the impressive economic success of nations like Venezuela, Cuba, the Soviet Union, and various Banana Republics, the Card is guaranteed to destroy the American Capitalist system. It will give everyone free access to the idle trillions of dollars sitting in banks that today are owned by employers earning evil profits, investors guilty of usury, fat-cat millionaires driving Teslas, and selfish Skin-in-the-Game entrepreneurs who take on financial risks in the hope of benefiting themselves.
How does the Card work? Simple. Use the Card to buy all the free stuff you can't afford. Then pay back only what you want to pay, when you want to pay it -- deducting any Rip-Off interest charges you feel entitled not to pay as a Victim of the American Capitalist System.
Disclaimer: This offer is subject to one restriction: you may use the card only before the entire American economy collapses.
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