Posted on 05/12/2017 6:37:46 AM PDT by Academiadotorg
Those of us who fall on the right of the center of the political spectrum frequently find ourselves at a loss when trying to communicate with those who don't.
Accordingly, we’ve come up with some tongue-in cheek conversational stratagems that will enable you to make small talk with true believers on the Left. You may want to try these out on hard-core conservatives first: If they guffaw, odds are, progressives won't:
• What do you really think of Donald Trump?
• Is homophobia the fear of homogenized milk?
• Do misogynists actually give massages?
• Is xenophobia the fear of Xena the Warrior Princess?
• Does LGBT stand for liquor, guns, bacon and tobacco?
• Does gun control mean using both hands? (Full disclosure: this is a direct steal from a bumper sticker)
• I'm going to the firing range at the NRA, wanna come?
• Boy, the Koch Brothers really do some incredible work, don’t they?
• What’s your favorite show on Fox News?
On second thought, when you do unveil these bon mots on progressives, you may want to do so when they've had a few stiff drinks and you haven't. That way, you'll be in shape to make a run for it and they will not.
Run? From a lefty? No, thank you. I don't like being hit with a man purse, but I have too much pride to run from a sissy.
Make a run for it? No way. I'll be polishing my knuckles.
Don’t talk to them. Just tie them to a tree and put a plastic bag over their heads.
Forget the plastic bag. Strip them from waist down and pour honey on the genitals.
Better title...
“How to set off a fringe lunatic liberal.”
Scientologist have Xenuphobia.
WHY???
Protect those knuckles,buy some sap gloves like I did.
....WHY???...
Because most liberals have an absolute melt down brain fry when asked questions that ask for clarification, explanation or justification of their positions.
Tucker Carlson uses this technique every night.
LGBT = Lettuce, Gherkin, Bacon and Tomato.
Finally got rid of the last two during or after Trump's campaign and election. Couldn't do anything about the ones in the family, except call in sick for a few get-togethers. Maybe they'll be okay by 4th of July. Anyway, it'll be outdoors, so less chance of getting all up into it over the roast dinner.
You really can’t talk to them. If you do say something ‘wrong’, they will throw a tantrum, call you one of their code names, and report you to central HR to get you fired.
It is about like being in the 1978 movie The Invasion, while watching liberals talk to each other is like seeing them projectile vomit into each other’s throats in the 2007 remake.
Do you turn on the TV in the morning to be told what to think or are you just naturally that stupid?
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