I will be candid:
I would have refused to believe young women who called themselves Christians who wanted to marry a spiritually-minded man.
As an ordained minister, I have witnessed time after time how Church Girls choose the Bad Boys over the Good Guys.
I was a Good Guy. I was never a Bad Boy. I have never been drunk. I have never used drugs. I have never fornicated.
I was told numerous times by such a Christian woman that I was the most honorable man that she had ever known - yet such a woman rarely would date me even once, much less twice.
Such did not find me boring; such loved to spend time with me. But such did not want me as a romantic interest.
Most of the women I sought to court married males who merely attended church and went through the motions in order to capture a nice wife; several of those trophies are now divorced - once, sometimes twice. Some of them became abused spouses by these counterfeit Christians.
Meanwhile, I remain an adult virgin, since my profession of faith denies me fornication as an outlet.
I live in a culture that mocks virginity, especially in a male. (My virility was mocked - both behind my back, and to my face - by some of the above pew warmers, when they realized that I was actually chaste.)
I came across a self-published book years ago:
“How Women Choose Men: Why Nice Guys Finish Last”
It is neither vulgar nor derogatory: It is simply honest. His thesis is simple: Do not listen to what women say; watch what women do. Women consistently marry what are in the vernacular called assholes. (This includes some of the ordained men I have known.)
They do so because they equate such men with dominance and confidence; they do so because they equate such men with animal virility; they do so because they equate such men with a challenge that requires to be reformed; they do so because they equate Christian virtue with a lack of ambition.
I think in particular that they see a real Christian man as both no challenge and too much of a challenge: A real Christian man does not need to be reformed and redeemed by a woman’s carnal love; yet a real Christian man will challenge a woman to live up to her highest Christian commitment.
That is a lose/lose proposition to a fallen female.
In short, they do so because they are sinful.
Women are every bit as sinful and corrupt as men. Every bit.
I assume I will be denounced for my admitted - at times - bitterness. So be it.
As I said, I am being candid.
Insightful points,
I married once,divorced.
Single for the duration.
My only regret,,
Not buying that HK mp5 in AZ,
No life is truly without its regrets and sometimes rewards.
Since you candidly shared your experience I’ll let you know mine:
I grew up in an abusive household. I chose not to get involved with anyone until I was sure I would not perpetuate the same sort of abuse. The long and short of it, I found a great lady in my late 30’s. I have to believe that God had a plan for me, it might not have been as easy as some folks, but I am grateful for what I and we have.
I guess I’m trying to say, you can feel bitter, but try not to lose sight of the good things too.
I apologize for my uncharacteristic serious answer.