Posted on 01/20/2016 11:38:09 AM PST by presidio9
I think my father, who died 10 years ago, was gay or preferred men, but I have no proof. I base my suspicion mostly on the way he looked at people, some magazine subscriptions and one conversation.
I came out to my parents in the 1970s, while home from college. That same night, my father took me aside and confided that before his marriage he had an affair with a man but got psychological help and was "cured." He hoped I would do the same. He said, "Promise not to tell your mother — it will break her heart." I promised.
Some time later, I asked him to tell me more about that man, but he denied the whole story, and we had a bit of a fight. However, many years later, in a brief autobiography he wrote for his grandÂchildren, he referred to a high-school friendship that he would "rather not talk about."
He grew to be supportive of my sexuality and was gracious to my boyfriends, but his backtracking on his confession made me stop trusting him.
Am I obliged to tell my mother any of this? The thought that I have been complicit in hiding the truth from her makes me uncomfortable. But it's possible that he invented his "confession" in a misguided attempt to help me, abandoning the strategy after it failed. The only thing of which I am certain is that he let me down.
I'm hard-Âpressed to think of a way my story could benefit my mother, who is now in her 80s. Even if my father really was keeping a secret, there’s no way to know whether he broke a commitment to her. Plus,
-SNIP-
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
Why can’t gays just keep their damn mouths shut? Me Me Me Me Me. Why would he tell his mother this? What could it possibly achieve aside from increasing her suffering and grief?
“That same night, my father took me aside and confided that before his marriage he had an affair with a man but got psychological help and was ‘cured.’”
But just prior to that he says he has no proof?!?
This guy is quite the genius.
LOL.
My mom was quite ill, bipolar disorder, breast cancer, and did not have a lot of road left in front of her, and I was typically brutally honest with her.
Until a coworker said the following: You spent the first several decades of your life lying to her, or at least concealing the whole truth. Now, as she is near the end of her life you tell her the truth?
Don’t tell mom.
Well, number one, he’s not gay, he’s queer.
What good can come from the conversation? I have a visceral dislike for those that gossip, especially those that gossip about the dead who are no longer able to defend themselves.
You answered your own question.
"Me Me Me Me Me." That's all that matters.
Mom knows, cupcake.
Sodomites disgust me. Their whole world revolves around their filthy, perverted, and unnatural methods of achieving orgasm. That unpleasant topic supersedes all else for them.
I promised.
Yes. You promised. So STFU. Jerk.
Yep - that about sums it up. Spot on.
Creepy guy hates women. Mom included. This is a way to hurt her, and that is a pleasing prospect to him.
I generally preferred the UK original over the US remake.
Peter Dinklage played the boy-toy in both versions.
The issue should be left with God. It shouldn’t be used to burden her. There might have been more situations like this than we knew, with a bad habit that was kept curbed by effort of will. And now our modern “gay movement” comes along and shouts “Cheer who you are!” (As long as that isn’t some kind of devout Christian, I guess.)
The devil has his own riff on the Christian promise of permanent salvation. He taunts permanent damnation. It’s so often taken as an excuse when it isn’t even TRUE.
Why can't gays stop posting this crap on Free Republic?
True... he should use this opportunity to deny evil a chance to advance any further. Leave it with God.
if was all THAT homosexual, your Mom knows about it already.
(don’t try to tell Mama anything. Rather, you’d be better off asking her.... where you came from...)
Was it sads who posted it here? News to me.
I don’t disagree with you.
I would also say that the Mom already knows.
Being from NYC, and having attended Columbia, I'm guessing I have a lot more gay friends than you do. I didn't used to, so I was surprised when I got to know them just how much of every aspect of their lives seems to revolve around the question of sex, and when where and how they were going to have it. I know a lot of straight guys who think that way too, but sex is always on the table for gay men.
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