Posted on 01/07/2016 12:13:45 PM PST by SoFloFreeper
A macaque monkey who took now-famous selfie photographs cannot be declared the copyright owner of the photos, a federal judge said Wednesday.
U.S. District Judge William Orrick said in a tentative ruling in federal court in San Francisco that "while Congress and the president can extend the protection of law to animals as well as humans, there is no indication that they did so in the Copyright Act."
Surprises never end.
The first time that a judge rules that an animal can own something, the floodgates will be opened. The animal rights wackos will hound the courts with lawsuits, trying to get full human rights for chimps.
I don’t understand. Is there some rule that prevents the president from owning his selfies?
He’s an innocent primate!
Does this mean The Wookie has rights?
That’s RACIST! Or....SPECIEST!
It took an actual court case to determine this.
“This ruling is completely bananas.”
- Monkey Plaintiff
Even if they succeeded in that, I would not hesitate to shoot one on sight. Filthy, violent and dangerous beasts.
And he’s also President. Oh, wait....
I respectfully disagree with the judge that Congress can extend the protection of the law to animals. This is because constitutional lawmakers and the Supreme Court have clarified that constitutionally enumerated protections apply only to citizens.
"Mr. Speaker, that the scope and meaning of the limitations imposed by the first section, fourteenth amendment of the Constitution may be more fully understood, permit me to say that the privileges and immunities of citizens of the United States [emphasis added], as contradistinguished from citizens of a State, are chiefly defined in the first eight amendments to the Constitution of the United States.” - John Bingham, Appendix to the Congressional Globe
14th Amendment, Section 1: All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States [emphasis added]; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
” 3. The right of suffrage was not necessarily one of the privileges or immunities of citizenship before the adoption of the Fourteenth Amendment, and that amendment does not add to these privileges and immunities. It simply furnishes additional guaranty for the protection of such as the citizen already had [emphases added].” - Minor v. Happersett, 1874.
In fact, the Court has also clarified that the states have never delegated to the feds, expressly via the Constitution, the specific power to regulate INTRAstate agriculture.
”From the accepted doctrine that the United States is a government of delegated powers, it follows that those not expressly granted, or reasonably to be implied from such as are conferred, are reserved to the states, or to the people. To forestall any suggestion to the contrary, the Tenth Amendment was adopted. The same proposition, otherwise stated, is that powers not granted are prohibited. None to regulate agricultural production is given, and therefore legislation by Congress for that purpose is forbidden [emphasis added].” - United States v. Butler, 1936.
Is that a Natural Born Monkey?
Legalities aside...this monkey takes better photos than most of his human counterparts. And he appears to have more talent in that regard than our current Commander-in-Chief.
Hell, at the end of the day Hope Solo and Jennifer Lawrence turned out to not own their selfies.
“Pardon me Misour, is that your minkey?
The monkey does not tell me what to play and I do not tell the Monkey how to spend his money.
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