'I'm Not Ready to Get Married'

Townhall.com ^ | December 29, 2015 | Dennis Prager

[onedoug]

I like Prager. But to be fair, is his third marriage finally the charm for him? He seems almost as much an advocate for divorce.

[IronJack]

If I had not gotten married, I would be a wealthy, retired man by now. Marriage — any relationship — tends to be the worst path to financial stability, especially if you are frugal and responsible with your money. It almost always works out that one partner supports the other financially.

That said, there is more to life than money.

My advice would be to marry somewhere in your mid-20s or not at all. And marry a person with the same fiscal discipline and earning potential you have. Unless you’re willing to play sugar daddy for the rest of your life.

[TYVets]

Very few young men are ready to marry today, for various reasons

The number of quality single women has declined?

(/s)

[G Larry]

I think that works PREDOMINANTLY in one direction because I don’t accept your premise.

I was on my own and single from age 17 to 57, so I consider myself an expert.

And your “most” claim doesn’t hold up.

[TigerClaws]

Lot of points to make here:

1. Sex. Sex is easy to get outside marriage. It’s beyond the ‘milk for free,’ women treat sex just like men do. Have sex when they want and don’t want to be bothered with commitment.

2. Couples can shack up. Taboo on that disappeared in the 1980s.

3. Divorce. Though the rate is far lower than the MSM says (they say 50%, but it’s 20 to 25%). Still, that’s a very costly and destructive event. People don’t want to go through it or make the wrong choice.

4. Terrible economy. An out of work kid living with his parents at 25 isn’t exactly looking to settle down. Then there are tens of millions more underemployed. They smoke pot and play videogames and stay ‘kids’ all through their 20s.

5. Feminism. Women in America have been so misled by feminism they are aggressive and obnoxious. Men can find women from other countries or just check out. Use them for sex and nothing more. (Of course, there are good women out there, but they are hard to find.) To ‘all sex is rape’ feminists, marriage is something to be avoided like the plague.

6. Careers. Women get locked into school and career themselves and getting married and having kids isn’t something they want until it’s too late.

7. Religion. Religion is on the decline. Marriage is a rite seen for the super religious and is a throw back.

8. Kids. They are costly. Education has fallen apart in America and private schools are expensive. Basic child costs are costly. Self absorbed people don’t want to spend the time, effort, and money on kids. If you don’t want kids, why bother to get married?

This is what no politician will tell you. “We are bringing in immigrants because you guys aren’t breeding enough.”

Russia has openly said it’s a crisis and is paying for people to have kids. Some European countries are doing this.

Democrats are happy whites are engaging in self genocide. It’ll tip the political balance in their favor forever.

[BwanaNdege]

I'm not sure why Dennis didn't mention that ready access to consequence free sex is the primary disincentive for men to marry.

As long as women are willing participants in this charade, they will continue to be the victims of being used and alone.

The old, "Why buy the cow when the milk is free?", syndrome.

[SamAdams76]

Most of the advantages of marriage accrue to women. Once they sink their claws into a man, they generally have the ability to milk that man financially for life. Men entering marriage should realize that even if the marriage does not last, they will likely have some financial responsibility for that woman for the duration of their lives. Even more so when children are involved. Then the man needs to carefully consider the woman's mother because like it or not, she will be his mother too.

That said, there are advantages in marriage to men as it does make them grow up. If I did not get married, I might well be working some dead end job, playing videogames at, participating in fantasy football and dungeons & dragons. Maybe I'd be putting on a Darth Vader costume and waiting in line to see Star Wars.

What I'm basically saying is that marriage typically forces a man to be a grown-up. After my marriage, I started seeking promotions at work because I needed more money to handle all those bills coming in. Also, I needed an excuse to be out of the house more so I volunteered for travel, which in turn, helped my career.

So all in all, marriage worked out okay for me but I understand that I am one of the lucky ones.

[Blue Collar Christian]

The Word of God, recorded by St. Paul, says to marry if you have passions (sexual desires). Modern society, with its birth control pill, abortion on demand, etc. make the consequences of sexual union non-existent or reversible as far as unmarried fornicators see. So the intimacy properly afforded by marriage can be perverted into hooking up without commitment.

I know this first hand and regret.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

There are actually plenty but most people are looking in the wrong places.

Miss I-want-to-marry-and-have-children is not likely perched on the bar stool next to you.

Mr Steady-job-likes-children is rarely to be found at a club.

Both can be found taking night classes at college, working at charities, (the kind where you actually work not socialize), church functions or on their job.

If you persist in hunting at bars and clubs pick the person who has a two drink maximum and leaves early. Better chances.

[libertylover]

“In every age, people say and believe things that aren’t true but somehow become accepted”

Here’s four:
Democrats said black people aren’t people.
Germans said Jewish people aren’t people.
Democrats said preborn people aren’t people.
Democrats said homosexuality is normal.

[Mr Rogers]

I married at 29. 30th anniversary will be in 3 weeks. I think the author’s argument is bogus. Only a fool gets married to fulfill someone’s idea of societal need.

[SauronOfMordor]

Unmarried women in their 20’s are having fun having relationships with hot men who would not give them a look if the men were required to commit to marriage before sex.

Then when the women pass 30 and the “exciting” men lose interest, they look for a “stable” man to marry them so they won’t be alone.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

This is what no politician will tell you. “We are bringing in immigrants because you guys aren’t breeding enough.”

Bull.

They started bringing in immigrants in mass waves in 1965 and were pushing for it earlier. There was no lack of breeding going on. But the amount of breeding dropped as they imported more and more immigrants. You start packing animals in tighter and they also slow down their breeding cycle.

So by the importing they have slowed down reproduction in the first world and by making more space in the third world encouraged it.

Stop with the importing and watch the numbers go back up.

[G Larry]

I think I covered that:

“As long as women are willing participants in this charade, they will continue to be the victims of being used and alone.”

[SauronOfMordor]

I was being more explicit as to what’s really going on.

[BwanaNdege]

The primary determinant for a long and happy marriage is not age, income, education or "compatibility". It is not even "Love", as that word is most commonly understood. (More later)

The most important attribute is commitment - to each other, to the marriage, to providing a stable home in which to raise children. Unfortunately, our society has discarded the very concept of commitment, let alone the essential nature of it.

The only commitment most people consider is that espoused by Frank Sinatra ("I Did It My Way"), Sammy Davis, Jr. ("I Gotta Be Me") and the editors of Self, Cosmo, Me, Playboy.

Look out for Old Number One!

Back to "Love". American English has inflated the definition of "Love" so much as to make the word almost useless for accurate description. Similar to the Zimbabwe Dollar.

"Love" is far more than affection or passion, though it can include those two emotions. In marriage - in fact, in all of life - we need to used the definition of love which is found in 1st Corinthians 13:4-8

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails."

[bgill]

9. Metrosexual men just aren’t appealing to many women wanting children.

10. The LGBT culture is flourishing.

11. When a man can have a dozen children by a half dozen baby mamas a legal marriage can cramp his style and his wallet.

[Yaelle]

Are you kidding? Marriage is really, really difficult. Kids have seen their parents go through a lot of bad things, even if they stayed married through it all. They aren’t thrilled about marriage.

Male bashing has been going on a long time; men fear that when they commit to a woman, she will be his boss. This is the TV marriage and a common one throughout history. “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Why would a 25-30 year old man who earns his living and enjoys his life want to have someone who needles or whines him and has high expectations she will get everything she wants from him?

Women in their 20s who have seen the boys around them in college and at work just hook up with impunity worry that their man will take advantage of all the girls out there who will be trying to hook up with him. He works in close quarters with hot women. What if she gets pregnant and he’s still driving around town with his coworker, the hot brunette, on sales calls, or him the squad car? Who would she ever be able to trust?

These are just two of the many reasons kids are afraid to get married. Many have seen how their parents split up and they are determined not to make those mistakes. There aren’t as many great examples of marriage for them to look at.

[wardaddy]

Creative people tend to be self absorbed

It can be navigated but it’s challenging from what I’ve observed

[Vision]

8. Kids. They are costly. Education has fallen apart in America and private schools are expensive. Basic child costs are costly. Self absorbed people don’t want to spend the time, effort, and money on kids. If you don’t want kids, why bother to get married?

America, however it happened, has made it too expensive to have children. Was talking about this last night...$8k a year for kinder garden and onward. And why pay $30k+ year for college so they can propagandize their minds? Hope the country can change this, like through tax credits or something. "The rent is too damn high?" It's too expensive to educate a child without putting them into the grinder mill that is the public school system.