Posted on 10/13/2015 5:27:50 PM PDT by Altura Ct.
The New York Times is not just the Paper of Record. It is, among so very many other things, the adjudicator of acceptable opinion, the arbiter of style, and the guide for the perplexed. It was thus with humble gratitude that males, all of whom are prostrate betas before the Times’ grand alpha, received the article that appeared last week in the Men’s Style/Self-Help section: “27 Ways to Be a Modern Man.”
How would we know, if the New York Times didn’t tell us?
Brian Lombardi, the Times’ appointed oracle on what makes a Modern Man, is as gnomic and enigmatic as any of his Delphic predecessors. He tells us, for example, that “the modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.” My best guess as to what this could possibly mean is that it is a reference to the Wu-Tang Clan, which, I am informed, is “an American hip hop group from New York City, originally composed of East Coast rappers RZA, GZA, Method Man, Raekwon, Ghostface Killah, Inspectah Deck, U-God, Masta Killa, Cappadonna, and the late Ol’ Dirty Bastard.”
That’s right: “the late Ol’ Dirty Bastard.” There are plenty of us still alive, but never mind. Brian Lombardi’s epigrammatic utterances include no explanation of why modern man must consult Wu-Tang weekly. There is no why. One does not question the oracle.
But then, there is this:
The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.
Very well, but also:
The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.
If Modern Man must never own a gun, that’s his choice. But he “has no use” for one? What if the intruder who storms his bedroom is too strong for Modern Man to fight off unarmed? What if the intruder has a knife — or is even so much of an Antiquated Man as to have a gun?
What can Modern Man do then? Reach for the melon baller that Lombardi advises he use to make sure “the cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew he serves” are “uniformly shaped”?
A clue as to how all this sage advice hangs together comes in the oracle’s penultimate utterance:
The modern man cries. He cries often.
Perhaps the Modern Man is so given to such displays because the intruder was indeed armed, and Modern Man wasn’t, and Modern Man’s wife had no chance to get away.
That possibility, however, almost certainly didn’t occur to Brian Lombardi or his New York Times editors. They no doubt agree: “the Modern Man has no use for a gun.” Barack Obama and John Kerry are quintessential examples of this Modern Man. They live in a world where all people are rational, gentle, peace-loving, and concerned about saving the planet and sharing her resources. That includes the Ayatollah Khamenei and Hassan Rouhani. Hell, it includes Kim Jong-un and Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.
Brian Lombardi could have added a 28th characteristic of the Modern Man: “the Modern Man assumes that everyone he ever encounters in any situation, no matter how threatening, irrational, or actively violent, is also a Modern Man.” There is, in other words, no one who cannot be talked to, no one who cannot be negotiated with, no one who doesn’t prize Peace above all things, and no one who isn’t willing to make concessions and receive them in turn, in order to bring about and preserve that Peace.
Then modern man should be wiped from the earth as useless garbage.
Liberals are stupid. You can’t fix stupid.
Modern man has plenty of uses for a gun. Just think of all the islamic savages Obola is inviting into our country. That’s a great reason to keep and bear arms.
Ah, pajama boy. The NYT’s new John Wayne.
If modern man has no use for them, then modern government, run by modern men, don’t need them either.
Tell the modern criminals they don’t need them either.
When both of these threats disarm completely, and cannot rearm, and don’t have armed security keeping them safe, then we may have something to discuss. Until then, they are just disarmists and anti-self-defense.
Tell that to the Neanderthals living in the inner city neighborhoods of America.
Liberal males are metrosexuals: Homosexuals that can’t get laid.
Liberal males are metrosexuals: Homosexuals that can’t get laid.
Liberal males are metrosexuals: Homosexuals that can’t get laid.
I will tell you one thing for certain - if I were married to a ‘modern man’ as described above, I would be crying along with him.
Seen “Breaking Bad?” The scene where Elliot wields a lemon zester or some such tool at Walt. Walt, apparently unarmed , says “You’re gonna need a bigger knife, Elliot.”
The threats that are in the world modern man lives in, are hardly modern. Self defense against those wishing to do you harm has been around ever since Cain murdered Abel.
Wrong take on it. The modern man has no use for a gun...unless he is in the military...police or any number of dangerous jobs metrosexuals have farmed their violence out to.
They don’t kill their food animals either, but most still eat them. It is pretty shishi to talk that kind of a game when you have armed guards or in a gated community. But it is nonsense and everyone that is not severely naive knows it.
DK
Whats so pathetic isn’t that articles like this are written. What is pathetic is that they have an audience that thinks “You know what? That’s true. I want to be known as a modern man so I’ll do that too and everyone will look up to me for my wisdom.”
I have a gun, and, I cry while watching the “Beauty and the Beast” show at Disney World.
Where does that leave me?
What is pathetic is someone actually thinks this is real wisdom. Tells me our system here preparing kids for adulthood is massively failing people and is in such bad shape it needs total destruction and rebuilding.
He’s right, I’ve moved on to mortar tubes and claymores.
Yep! A man so worthless as to not know how to shoot a gun, and has no desire to protect himself and his family deserves nothing less than that.
There is peaceful living, which I can respect; and then there is victimhood. That’s all this sissified “modern man” is.
The New York Times is doing all in it’s power to prove to America that the metrosexual is the accepted norm of the day, and lumberjacks need not apply.
Another responder noted that these ‘modern men’ need to be eradicated from the face of the Earth, and i agree.
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