Minnesota Campuses Have Shooter Response Plans

KSTP.com ^ | 10/10/15 | Cassie Hart/AP

[ButThreeLeftsDo]

Minnesota's two public college systems say each school has emergency plans in place and campus-wide alert systems to warn students, faculty and staff in the event of a shooting.

The University of Minnesota system and the Minnesota State Colleges and Universities system say their campuses send alerts over text message or email to notify students of potential danger.

[ButThreeLeftsDo]

"Wait, don't shoot me, I've got a text message, here."

[Clint N. Suhks]

Equip every classroom with cans of beans?

[ButThreeLeftsDo]

Beans, peaches...you know, the real heavy stuff.

[Clint N. Suhks]

I’ll betcha the teacher’s association has lessons in food can throwing.

[Tupelo]

Since I did not read any detailed “plan”and since this plan is from the University of Minnesota, I will offer a supposition of what it probably says.

Sit down against a wall
Place your head between your legs.
Kiss your ass good by.

[ButThreeLeftsDo]

What do you think is preferred?

A windup or the stretch?

[ButThreeLeftsDo]

Students will either get an email or a text message.

What more do you need in a detailed plan?

[sparklite2]

About as preventative as white chalk outlines in the aftermath.

[AlaskaErik]

Libtard state...let me guess, bend over and kiss your ass good bye.

[lightman]

[dragnet2]

The text message will tell the student recipients, “Stop looking at this text message and run stupid!”

[umgud]

What is their cell phone policy?

[ButThreeLeftsDo]

What is their cell phone policy?

"After you have thrown your cans of beans and peaches, then throw your cell phone."

[FatherofFive]

“Stop shooting or I will tweet you!”

[ButThreeLeftsDo]

HAH!!!

[RushIsMyTeddyBear]

I guess they can just fart on them. Hopefully, they have a lighter.

[Eccl 10:2]

Their shooter response plans include:

1) Delivery of body bags to the scene of “workplace violence”
2) Dissemination of a press release stating that the shooter was a white Christian conservative male
3) Organization of a candlelight vigil asking the federal government to pass more gun laws
4) Inviting CAIR to conduct sensitivity training, now mandatory every semester to graduate
5) Elimination of all culturally sensitive material, so that non-Christian students and faculty can have a stress-free call to prayer five times a day
6) Conversion of the chapel to a non-sectarian center for prayer, with clear indication of the direction of Mecca

[Iscool]

Ought to be good for some mass chaos and pandemonium...

[Mastador1]

I bet it’s duck and cover, that is the security ducks and covers until they think the shooting is done, whether that’s because the shooter has run out of bullets......or victims.

[Viking2002]

'Minnesota Campuses Have Shooter Response Plans'