The Power of Forgiveness

Turn on the news and you expect to see people of different races and politics denouncing each other. That's why what happened last week on "The Kelly File," Megyn Kelly's Fox News program, was so remarkable.

Following the expulsion of Parker Rice and Levi Pettit, two Sigma Alpha Epsilon members at the University of Oklahoma, upon the video release of a racist sing-a-long they led, Isaac Hill, the president of the university's Black Student Association, told Kelly the students should be forgiven.

Kelly, who is normally in complete control, was stunned and nearly speechless. It was not what she -- or any of us -- expected. Judgment, retribution, rioting, censorship, shaming, loss of job and prestige are the norm, not forgiveness, especially when the offending students, at the time, hadn't asked for it.

Hill told Kelly: "It is not smart to fight hate with hate. It is only logical to fight hate with love."

This brings to mind what Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. said: "We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies."

What would have better served the interests of OU, Rice and Pettit and the larger student body? Instead of focusing on punishment and expulsion, shutting down the fraternity house and evicting all its residents, the goal should have been redemption. Redemption is a harder road to travel, but the destination should be to change the students' thinking, not bludgeon them into silence where any racist thoughts might fester and grow worse.

In today's world of instant communication, which is different from conversation, we know our fellow Americans by categories. We are all parts of groups, often pitted against each other. The integrity of the individual has been gobbled up by groupthink. If you are African-American, for example, you are supposed to be liberal, angry at white people and vote only for Democrats. Those who stray from this ideological and political plantation are to be denounced and expelled.

What should have happened at the University of Oklahoma and at other universities that are now uncovering similar racist incidents by white students is to require them to get to know people of different races. White students should be mandated, as a condition of their continued enrollment, to spend time with students of other races. Dine with them, take in a basketball game with them, meet their parents and listen as they tell their stories. Everyone has a story, but too many of us are unwilling to listen.

Listening to another person's story humanizes them and fosters equality far more than any civil rights legislation, or attempts to control speech. Many people have said that while they regard Congress as corrupt, they like their congressman because they know him or her. That's the point. Knowing someone removes, or at least diminishes, any stigma we might have previously associated with a person.

In her book, "The Power of Forgiveness: Why Revenge Doesn't Work," Dr. Judith Orloff writes: "...revenge reduces you to your worst self, puts you on the same level with those spiteful people we claim to abhor."

Isaac Hill told Megyn Kelly he hopes the racist comments can be used as a chance to learn and grow. Offered several opportunities by Kelly to criticize the white students, Hill declined. "Those behaviors are taught," he said. "We are all born innocent people."

In the musical "South Pacific," librettist Oscar Hammerstein II wrote, "You've got to be taught to hate." One can also be taught to love.

Again, Dr. King said it best: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Thanks for the story. I do believe forgiveness can provide healing.

I struggle with a couple situations, still, in which I have not yet been able to forgive. One is related to the complex current political/administrative climate. Should we be able to forgive these “leaders” who think they are doing the right thing? At what cost do we forgive, and they read it as permission to continue to destroy everything good about the USA?

A couple of points, forgiveness in the Sermon on the Mount sense is a personal not a collective thing. So I can forgive the so called “leaders” for skinning five skins yearly off me through different taxes and fees, for taking money from my family in the form of higher gasoline, energy, and food prices, etc., and pray for them to get to know the Lord and repent from their evil ways, and be saved. OTOH, that does not stop me from working tirelessly to get their arses kicked out of office so they do not cause any further damage. It is like dealing with an alcoholic, you don’t give them the keys to the bar.

2 Timothy 3-4New International Version (NIV)
3 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

6 They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, 7 always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. 8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. 9 But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.
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Would have made a good CPAC speech...

“What should have happened at the University of Oklahoma and at other universities that are now uncovering similar racist incidents by white students is to require them to get to know people of different races. White students should be mandated, as a condition of their continued enrollment, to spend time with students of other races. Dine with them, take in a basketball game with them, meet their parents and listen as they tell their stories. Everyone has a story, but too many of us are unwilling to listen.”

BS. I will associate with people of my choosing. Just like this BS mandate that applicants for college have community service hours. How about they admit smart people that have a chance of graduating.

Yes, that is total BS. We can associate with whom we choose and many whites and blacks are friends these days. Are there no black racists against whites. Have they investigated this in all black fraternities? I think not. Forcing people to do things against their will fosters resentments and dislike.

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