The 17 Most American Things You Can Buy At Walmart

National Review ^ | 12/05/2014 | Benny Johnson

[SeekAndFind]

This week, my colleague Kevin Williamson wrote about the celebrity hypocrisy of protesting Walmart. The gist: The rich celebs boycotting the store are “too enlightened to let their poor neighbors pay low prices.”

But the real question remains: What are these “poor neighbors” buying at Walmart, anyway? Is it good for them? Is it good for America? National Review conducted an on-the-ground investigation of what products the retail giant is selling. The results were inspiring.

1. This bocce-ball​-sized Lindor Chocolate

2. A beef-jerky gun

3. Si Robertson prescription glasses

4. This pocket watch that says it’s time for Freedom

5. A ‘Darth Vader taking a selfie with an iPhone 4′ t-shirt

6. Bacon and Mac’n Cheese Duck Tape

7. A Bat Hook to hang your Bat Cape on

8. An officially branded Marines “Battle Kit”

9. This dinner cutlery

10. The Key to Freedom

11. This inclusive gingerbread house

12. A 2-lb. barrel of cheese balls

13. All of these items being marketed together:

14. Tim McGraw cologne

15. Ten pounds of pork chitterlings

16. A 20-foot “Space Sleigh”

17. A true capitalist miracle:

Just a reminder: Walmart thinks Chuck Norris with a massive gun is a sure way to bring Christmas joy:

In conclusion: Who could ever boycott Walmart?

— Benny Johnson is digital director of National Review.

[Vigilanteman]

I would shop at Wal-Mart more often if it weren’t for all the Wal-Martians.

[fwdude]

No thanks. Walmart has sold out to the homosexual left.

[clintonh8r]

I wonder how much of it is made in America...

[jocon307]

Thanks for posting this, I saw it over at NRO but didn’t read it. It’s great! Esp. love the Hannukah Gingerbread house, as Frank Sinatra sang “that’s America to me”.

[stephenjohnbanker]

Walmart sold out to CHINA.

[ColdOne]

Mac and cheese duct tape. I have seen it all now!

[Buckeye McFrog]

18. a “F*ck You United Nations” young mens t-shirt

[HiTech RedNeck]

In this distressing age, an assertion like this needs to be answered with the question: “In what manner.”

Try to keep your hands utterly clean from this if you are big business... rotsa ruck. We are in a mutual God-vacuum.

[MulberryDraw]

American made firearms.

[SeekAndFind]

RE: American made firearms.

God help us if they outsource even that to China...

[married21]

People who take themselves too seriously won’t like Wal-Mart. Also, snobs who don’t like lower-middle income people won’t like Wal-Mart.

I’m not crazy about it because the one near me is poorly merchandised (the Barbies are next to the air fresheners, for some reason). Also, some of the other shoppers really are weird. So, I usually bypass Wal-Mart and go to Target.

But the prices are low and the perspective on low-brow American culture is great. And the store hours are often 24/7 (although not at our local store).

Gotta get my son a Darth Vader selfie t-shirt!

[MrB]

Hard to decide between the “Christmas Joy” Chuck Norris poster and the Star of David Gingerbread House.

[HiTech RedNeck]

I think that is a merchandising poster, not a retailed poster.

[jocon307]

“Mac and cheese duct tape.”

Yes, so strange. What is the purpose of that?

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

WHERE DE GUNS AT!

[jocon307]

My daughter lived near one in Fairfax, VA that was great. We don’t have one near us, and our Target is awful. The Target in Jersey City is so much better than the one by us.

Love Kohl’s and still miss Bradlees, so much!

[nascarnation]

Curious as to which retail establishments you use?

[HiTech RedNeck]

To cover the seams of the Con-Tact paper on your double wide’s galley wall.

[nascarnation]

if it weren’t for all the Wal-Martians.

timing is everything.

locally I find 9am and 8pm are great times to shop there

9am is cute soccer moms and 8pm is empty