Skip to comments.I Used to Be Pro-Choice, Pro-Choice to the Core, Then I Had an Abortion
Posted on 07/22/2014 6:18:19 AM PDT by wagglebee
Every morning, the faithfulness of the sun touches our eyelids. Unfortunately, the faithfulness of the alarm clock also reaches our ears. We slowly rise from the pillow, sneak out from under the sheets, and begin the tasks for that day. For most people, there is a passion that gives us the encouragement to live each day. It might be a job, a child, a spouse, a religion.
My passion is being pro-life. It drives and it motivates me. I find joy in being the voice for the unborn every day, even if its just in the smallest ways. There was a time in my life when you couldnt have paid me a million dollars to truthfully and passionately say the statement above. I used to be pro-choice. Pro-choice to my very core and then everything changed
I had an abortion.
From that moment, my life has never been the same. I instantly realized that I lost something very special to me, my child. I instantly knew that I never wished this pain upon anyone.
Ill never forget the moment that I realized I was pregnant. I had morning sickness and deep down I knew it wasnt just a hangover. The positive pregnancy test was just confirmation of my terrifying reality. My college applications were submitted, and I was anxiously awaiting acceptance letters. I worked incredibly hard in community college to get into my dream school, and a positive pregnancy test seemed to rob me of my efforts. The youth director at my church recently gave birth to her first child. When she found out that she was pregnant, she said, Being a mother is a dream come true. It was everything that I wanted in life, but when I found out that I was pregnant, Ive never been more scared in my life. I felt that same fear when I discovered that I was pregnant, but being a single mother wasnt anything close to my dreams. My fear blinded me from considering other options, but I never knew that this option of getting an abortion would bring so much pain.
The abortion procedure was mildly painful, but emotionally mortal. The voice of the abortionist telling me to relax, the touch of the assistant holding my hand, and the abortion counselor guiding me through the process. After the procedure, I went to lunch with the friend that accompanied me then, she took me home. I was lifeless. I remained in the comfort of my bed for the remainder of the day. In that moment, there was no reason to get out of bed. No desire. No motivation. Nothing. I used to get angry when thinking about that day, but, now its just a reminder as to why Im pro-life. If the choice of abortion was truly the best choice for me, then why did everything feel so wrong?
My abortion became my deep dark secret. Carrying the burden certainly wasnt easy. I felt as though I had a sickness and if I were to say, Im sick and I need to be healed, then Id quickly be reinforced that I made the right choice. My moral intuition and the emptiness in my heart told me that my decision was wrong.
I continued to suppress the hurt. Rather than seeking a doctor, I used vices of this world to sooth the great pain. At that time, I couldnt label myself as pro-life even though I wanted to. Wouldnt that just make me a hypocrite? After all, the difference between pro-life and prochoice was like butter and margarine. Was there really that big of a difference? The label didnt necessarily matter to me, but I knew that I would never support a friend in getting an abortion. I can recall times when friends would joke about abortion. Saying if they ever found themselves pregnant they would have an abortion, and inside Id say, Id never let you do that! It wasnt a joking matter for me. How could it be? It was the biggest mistake I have ever made.
I struggled to make the connection from my head to my heart as to why my abortion was wrong. The turning point for me was seeing an ultrasound of my niece. The image was projected on the wall, and I watched her dance in the womb as soft music played. As the ultrasound focused on her heart, the music was replaced with the sound of her healthy heartbeat. My world stopped. The sound of her heartbeat was the loudest thing Ive ever heard. I cried in sorrow and regret. It was at that moment that I understood that life in the womb is, in fact, life!
I eventually met a doctor to heal my pain. I had no desire to meet him. It happened more by accident. I casually heard his name a few times, and quite frankly, I didnt like him. He seemed bossy, but he does have great birthday celebrations! His name, Jesus Christ. I unexpectedly fell in love with Him at the altar. My abortion made me pro-life, and the love of Christ has healed me.
For so many years, I shamed myself for the mistakes. I viewed myself as unworthy and undeserving, and everything in my life showed that I was constantly settling for less. Although my sin was large, Jesus was still longing for me. He desired me and patiently waited for me so that He could comfort me. He has poured tremendous amounts of grace and mercy into my life. Although the journey has been difficult, I have opened myself up to Him and allowed Him to work within my life, and make me the woman that He has created me to be. A woman made in His image and likeness.
God has been so faithful in this healing process. An underserved gift is the community of women I have met that are also healing from their abortions. I often reflect on the fact that Ive never heard a mother say, I wish I had an abortion. Nut I know countless women that have said, I regret my abortion. Unfortunately, Im not the only woman that has been hurt by abortion.
Throughout this journey, I have heard every justification for my abortion and its insulting. Its your body, your choice. No, it was the body of my child. I wouldve done the same thing if I were in your shoes. Thanks, you just took the knife and twisted it. You werent ready to be a mother. Who are you to determine if Im capable of handling motherhood? You have reproductive rights. So did my child. Its not a life. Yes, it is. What Im getting at is that there is not a justification for abortion. Tim Scheidler, a great friend said, Its not the little babies that we need to worry about. They are happy in heaven. Its the mommas that we need to worry about. When you meet a woman who is hurting from her abortion, do not feed her an ignorant justification. Comfort her, and love her. She is mourning the loss of her child.
Abby Johnson, pro-life advocate and former Planned Parenthood director, said, Telling a woman that abortion is the empowering response to a crisis pregnancy is really telling her that she is not strong enough to handle motherhood. What a terrible and unrealistic way to view women. I might have been strong enough to handle motherhood. I certainly wasnt strong enough to handle the abortion.
In January, I attended March for Life in Washington, D.C. It was a blessing to take part of this courageous, chilling, and powerful event. Considering my past, I never imagined that Id be in a crowd of 10,000 people praying for an end to abortion. March for Life is more than an annual event in Washington, D.C. It is my life. Its the reason why I wake up every morning. All for Gods glory, I will continue to march every day of my life to bring truth to the harms of abortion and prevent women from repeating my biggest mistake. I want to be the voice that I didnt hear, the voice that says, I know that youre scared, and I promise that there is a better option. I will continue to share the truth of life in the womb. By Gods grace, I will be an example to all women and men (yes, men too) who are suffering an abortion that healing is part of Gods plan.
Photo: The woman in the picture is my best friend, my little sister. She found herself in an unplanned pregnancy while completing her junior year of college. Although the timing was not ideal for her, she carried out her pregnancy while earning a 4.0 GPA. She gave birth two weeks ago to a beautiful and healthy baby girl.
P.S. You are enough.
LifeNews Note: Star Tucker writes for Made in His Image, a group “to foster hope and healing for women suffering from eating disorders and or abuse and to empower them to turn from victim to survivor. “
Unfortunately, tens of millions of women share this pain with her.
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I am so sorry she had to kill her child before she would allow herself to see the truth.
The young woman sat in the doctors office waiting room and cuddled the 6 month-old boy in her lap. Soon she was escorted to an exam room.
The doctor finally came in, smiled, sat down, glanced at her file and asked Mrs. Jones, what brings you here today?
She hesitated — then the words tumbled out in a torrent.
Doctor, my husband doesnt make much money, we have 3 children now and Im pregnant again. Doctor we just cant afford another mouth to feed were barely making it now. She paused again. Doctor, I want an abortion.
The doctor sat back in his chair, laid the file aside and said, An abortion costs around 500 dollars and you probably dont have the money. I have a better, less expensive option.
Reaching into a drawer, the doctor extracted a scalpel and continued.
Lay the lad here across your lap and pull his shirt up so his chest is exposed.
Shocked, she blurted, What are you going to do?
Why, well simply kill THIS baby.
Clutching her son to her breast, she leapt to her feet and shouted You MONSTER!
The doctor paused, then spoke.
Mrs. Jones, the only difference between your proposal and mine is that one baby is IN your lap and the other is ON you lap and, therefore, much easier to get at.
She ran from the room, his words ringing in her ears.
Is abortion the killing of a human being?
Not according to Obama, NARAL and the other radical feminist gangs who require that abortion continue to be available to them as a last resort birth control method to allow them to persist in their sexually promiscuous lifestyle.
Ill believe its NOT a human being when a woman gives birth to a chicken, hog or a tree.
That’s an interesting perspective. My own anecdotal experience from talking with women about this issue is that those who have an abortion(s) tend to be reinforced in their pro choice stance, and those who have an unplanned baby tend to be reinforced in their pro life stance. The popular culture does backflips to tell young women that having an abortion is just fine. The living, breathing baby tells a young mother that she did the right thing. One way requires massive amounts of conditioning from the outside world, the other simply requires nature.
re: Abby Johnson, pro-life advocate and former Planned Parenthood director, said, Telling a woman that abortion is the empowering response to a crisis pregnancy is really telling her that she is not strong enough to handle motherhood. What a terrible and unrealistic way to view women. I might have been strong enough to handle motherhood. I certainly wasnt strong enough to handle the abortion.
That's undoubtedly true; but just as undoubtedly true are the numerous women who are seemingly unperturbed by it except for fear of the pain and/or danger of the procedure.
Given much less emphasis is that there is also pain experienced by the fathers of these aborted babies, those of whom who were ready to accept responibility for them but were forced to accept the mother-to-be's decision, and even pay for the procedure. I was one of them.
My own anecdotal experience of women who have had unplanned babies is the same as yours, but I have met many women who have had abortions and regretted their choice. Even if they were "pro-choice" before their abortion, having aborted a child and faced the reality of what they did made them change their minds or at least feel very burdened with guilt by their decision. Having been very active in the pro-life community for years, I was surprised to find out that many of those involved in the movement had experienced abortions and now regretted their decisions. Of course there were the hardcore abortion advocates who continually justified their decisions, but most women are not proud of their decisions to abort their children. Deep down they know the truth. For a very large percentage, the free “choice” was not truly free. They felt pressured into it by boyfriends, husbands, parents, and abortion providers.
The damage done to the mother is immeasurable. When she realizes she killed her own baby by turning her womb into a tomb the guilt eats her up.
The suicide and depression levels are off the charts.
Pray America wakes up
I guess once you’ve devolved down to hell because you’ve aborted a soul before it even had the chance to agree or disagree, the best tactic is to fully embrace the evil lest you displease your new dark master.
What the author didn’t mention at all in this article? The father of the child.
And there’s one big part of the problem. Abortion and so-called “women’s liberation” has only liberated men from their responsibilities.
“For a very large percentage, the free choice was not truly free. They felt pressured into it by boyfriends, husbands, parents, and abortion providers.”
I think there are probably more who regret it than will admit. There is huge cultural support for abortion, and that support is not all positive (in the reinforcement sense of the word). A typical young woman saying she is pro life to her friends takes some guts. She will be shamed in many cases. Even more than boyfriends, husbands, providers, and parents, there is the culture. The culture tells young women that children are a horrible burden. It also tells them that they MUST have a career, and that a child will mean that they can’t. The career is everything, and all other things that could interfere with it must be put aside. It’s a very sick culture.
So many babies, so much loss, so much pain. I have lost many family members because I liken supporting abortion and pro-abortion candidates to standing by and watching as Hitler and his ilk threw people into ovens. Greatest tragedy of our day.
“...turning her womb into a tomb...”
WOW! What powerful words! I’ll never forget that. Thx.
Feminists apparently think a woman is strong enough to handle the presidency, but not strong enough to handle a pregnancy.
So was I. One weekend trip to NY in 1971 changed my life forever. I’m now 63 and childless. The young woman involved later became my wife (I know why the abortion if we were getting married anyway? Long story), but could not get pregnant because of damage done by the procedure. We didn’t know this for years because she refused to try again for 17 years. Ultimately she died at 46 from aggressive breast cancer which I believe was also a result of the abortion. Abortion doesn’t just kill the baby, but also the souls of those involved.
So many have to learn the hard way, but then again so many more of the American people never learn at all.
Oh man. That’s a sad story. I am so sorry for all your losses.
Thank you for you kind thoughts. You have probably heard the saying, “A baby changes everything”, well so does an abortion.
If only more people would see it that way.
Must those of her former mindset, and their allies, kill America, too, before learning the truth?
>> Is abortion the killing of a human being?
Of course it is.
A woman should not define her liberty by having the right to kill.
I have a good friend who had an abortion in college, she was consumed with guilt. Her boyfriend insisted on the abortion and wanted no part of a child, she was estranged from her family and followed his wishes and immediately regretted it.
The same doctor in the original story healed her as well. When she told me I asked her if she had prayed for forgiveness and repented and she said she had. Then I said the only person beating you up is you and reminded her what God said about forgiven sin, it is gone and forgotten. She finally after many years stopped beating herself up and is fiercely pro-life.
Telling a woman that abortion is the empowering response to a crisis pregnancy is really telling her that she is not strong enough to handle motherhood.”
It’s also telling her that you, yourself, can’t be bothered to lift a finger to help her.
And I’ve known women who were told this by their own mothers and their own husbands.
As horrific as these killings are,
God is always on the throne and
some of these parents find grace:
33 Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
34 Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?
35 Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay them?
36 For from him and through him and for him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.
- Romans Ch. 11
She did a great evil and hopefully will work for good
(yes, men too) who are suffering an abortion
The little mentioned reality that fathers can also be devastated by abortion. What a heinous curse on our society. I've known three women who have had abortions (one of them had two). One of these women is and always will be a committed liberal who is now married with two grown boys. The other two are desperate alcoholics. One had an affair but is still married, the other was divorced by her husband after several years. He is a gentle good man who just couldn't take her drinking any more.
I won't be convinced that their abortions did not contribute to their alcoholism.