In shameless quarter-end fundraising email, Alan Grayson insists he is not ‘a piece of nose slime’

Conservative Inteeligence Briefing ^ | 3-27-2014 | David Freddoso

[smoothsailing]

March 27, 2014

In shameless quarter-end fundraising email, Alan Grayson insists he is not ‘a piece of nose slime’

David Freddoso

We’re getting close to March 31, and that means lots of desperate-sounding, trollish emails from politicians about how they need to raise that last whatever amount to put in their next quarterly FEC report. The emails get more obnoxious with each passing quarter leading up to the election. And when they come from someone who is pretty obnoxious to begin with, you can just imagine how entertaining it can be.

Case in point: Rep. Alan Grayson, D. who earlier this week pitched his donors with a message of self-pity. This one is better if only for the photograph that came in the email — it is presented below.

Just to be clear: Yes, a congressman actually sent this to people, and I bet they even donate money as a result.

from: Rep. Alan Grayson alangrayson@graysonforcongress.com
to: [redacted]
date: Thu, Mar 27, 2014
subject: The Latest Attack: I’m a “Piece of Nose Slime”

Dear Friend:

Do you remember “Joe the Plumber”? If not, you’re better off. But let me remind you – because now “Joe the Plumber” is attacking me. “Joe the Plumber” recently called me a “piece of nose slime.” (Which, as a plumber, he may see a lot of.) “Joe the Plumber” also called me a “dreg of society.” (A “dreg” is the sediment in a liquid. So if anyone knows about dregs, it’s a plumber.) “Joe the Plumber” has now joined Bill O’Reilly, Allen West and Mike Huckabee in their recent attacks on me personally.

If disgusting political attacks like calling a Member of Congress a “piece of nose slime” make you feel ill, then click here, and give us the support we need to fight back.

By the way, “Joe the Plumber” is not named Joe, and he’s not a plumber. If there were a way to belie the word “the,” I’m sure that “Joe the Plumber” would do that, too.

His real name is Samuel Wurzelbacher. In 2008, he claimed that he was a plumber, working for A.W. Newell Corp. in Ohio. But in Ohio, plumbers are licensed, and Joe didn’t have a license. So he’s not a plumber. As Gov. Rick Perry might say, “Oops.”

“Joe the Plumber” made around $40,000 a year not doing his not-plumbing. In his Walter Mitty imagination, though, he somehow was going to buy Newell Corp. Newell has sales of up to $2.5 million a year, according to Manta.com. How could “Joe the Plumber” buy Newell Corp.? The same way that a sparrow devours an elephant, I guess.

Not-yet-President Obama came to “Joe the Plumber’s” town of Toledo, Ohio, in 2008. At an Obama campaign event, “Joe” took that magical mental leap from personal failure to personal success, and told/lied/BS’ed Obama that “Joe” was “getting ready to buy a company that makes $250,000 to $280,000 a year – your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn’t it?”

“Joe the Plumber” was “getting ready” to buy that company in much the same way as Kim Kardashian is “getting ready” to end the civil war in Syria. It could happen. But I doubt it.

Aren’t you sick of right-wing fakers like “Joe” the “Plumber”? Click here to show your support for the Member of Congress whose bumper sticker reads: “Grayson. Truth.”

It goes on, but the email just keeps getting more boring after that. Congratulations to the people of the Orlando area.

[fungoking]

I was going to read the whole article but I had Taco Bell for lunch and now I have to go take a Grayson.

[onedoug]

That one would seem compelled to even deny such a thing usually indicates some type of involvement therein.

[arderkrag]

Well, I for one sure am glad he cleared that up so succinctly.

[Cicero]

[RichInOC]

“Grayson. Truth.”

Not even all that close in the dictionary, let alone in real life.

[lodi90]

Grayson is Certifiable!!! AND a WIFE ABUSER!!!

A resume enhancer in the democRAT party (i.e. Kennedy etc.).

---

I believe he is in a safe Dem district now. It’s something like 40% Hispanic. So unless he ends up in state prison he will be headed back to DC.

[smoothsailing]

Definitely Mensa material.

[RetiredTexasVet]

Wrong orifice Alan....

[Huntress]

[bakeneko]

Floridians I think he deserves a Kleenex Bomb.

[workerbee]

Gee, and they mocked Christine O’Donnell for saying “I’m not a witch”?

[smoothsailing]

[chiefqc]

Right, nose slime you can roll between your fingers and then flick onto the floor.

With him if he was rotting on the floor the maggots would stay away.

[dagogo redux]

He’s correct: A POS is not to be mistaken for a piece of nose slime.

(Us pre-ObamaCare doctors were actually schooled in such distinctions.)

[22202NOVA]

If you like your nose slime...well, I’ll stop out of good taste.

[smoothsailing]

[TBP]

No, he’s not. That would be an upgrade.

[beelzepug]

That forehead is the perfect target for a stun bolt gun.

[ExCTCitizen]

Grayson, you aren’t nose slime. That is an insult to nose slime.