Posted on 03/26/2014 6:46:24 AM PDT by raccoonradio
Now it’s Patches Kennedy’s turn to write his memoir, and no, it’s not a coloring book.
The working title is “A Common Struggle,” but surely Ted’s boy can do better than that.
When he first ran for Congress in 1994, Patches admitted that he had never had “to worry about making mends meet.”
That’s right, making mends meet. And I think that should be the title of his new tome:
“Making Mends Meet.”
Or “Drinkin’ Doubles Don’t Make a Party.”
Or, “One Bad Ice Cube at a Time.”
Or, “3 a.m. Roll Call.”
The book is due out late next year, but good luck with that deadline. During the William Kennedy Smith rape trial in 1991, a temporary worker at the family’s oceanfront mansion in Palm Beach, Comfortably Numb by the Sea, was deposed about the family’s habits, including Patches’.
“He will sleep longer … So many times everybody is up and in the ocean or somewhere and Patrick is still sleeping.”
Another possible book title: “Patches Kennedy: Do Not Disturb.”
Or, “Palm Beach on A Dozen Long Island Iced Teas a Day.”
If Patches had remained in the House for another few years, the leadership might well have had to install a Breathalyzer in the well of the chamber. The Boy Congressman was almost as interested in the military as he was in triple gin bucks, hold the bucks.
“The servicemen and women that are representing this country in the armed forces are well-prepared and are well, uh, armed.”
This was 1994, the year his dad was campaigning for reelection here in Massachusetts saying he represented “working men and middle women.”
Patches was known for his incisive interrogations at congressional hearings, like the time he grilled the secretary of the Navy:
“One of the worries I have about, you know, a really zero-defect mentality with respect to defect — I’m not talking now — I mean everyone can acknowledge that if there’s a little bit of extremism …”
It wasn’t until 2000 that Patches made his bones in the Kennedy crime family, when the headline appeared: “Kennedy charged in assault on woman.” It was an ancient black security guard at LAX.
Patches was basically a small-time regional comedian until his cousin’s rape trial in West Palm. That was when the nation saw for the first time that he was indeed the runt of the litter’s runt of the litter. The trial proved that the martini olive doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Under questioning, Patches explained how he and his cousin Willie “arove” at Au Bar. Not arrived, arove.
How crowded was the dance floor? “Partly crowded.”
Fortunately for the publisher, Patches will be working with a ghostwriter. As a youth, Patches once dressed down a tennis pro who wanted him to retrieve the balls.
“We Kennedys pay people like you to pick up balls for us,” he sneered.
And now they pay people to write their books for them.
Wed column ping
“Middle women” like the famous waitress in the Dodd-Kennedy sandwich?
Who the blazes would care about the illiterate ramblings of a self-promoting scion of a sleazeball? The Kennedys have proven themselves unfit as anything but object lessons in the dangers of soulless lucre.
Ted Jr. is contemplating a Senate run in CT. He has about as much experience as Barry.....none.
Profiles in Cocktails
My first trip to Fenway I was astounded that there were no beer vendors in the stands. You had to go to a one of about three concession stands to buy a beer (limit two per trip) and the only beer they served was Coors Light. I told the guy pulling the tap, "All the drunks this state sends to Washington and this is what you call a beer concession?"
It won’t me because I am not reading it.
Oh, JOY !
Patches sure will need a drink (or 7) after reading this!
But the liberals still worship the Kennedys.
At the time of Ted Kennedy’s funeral, Chris Mathews said that Obama is thelast Kennedy brother. It was an absurd thing to say, but, the liberal line is that the Kennedys should be worshipped by us underlings.
Hey, Patches, when you’re not selling your book, that’ll be me not buying it.
Thank you Howie Carr for the funniest newspaper article I've read in years... This one is a keeper.
Kennedy’s, Klintoon’s, or Bushies. What difference does it make. We’re screwed.
They always have. JFK's Profiles in Courage, a marketing ploy intended to suggest that JFK was so courageous that he could pass judgement on others' courage, was ghost-written.
Liberals worship the IMAGE of the Kennedys, an image increasingly at odds with the reality.
But reality has never meant much to the Left.
As me sainted father said of the 1960 election of JFK,
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