Whenever I meet someone
Who's in the public eye
And let's face it, Mr. Weiner
You're in the public eye
My tender heart
Tends to start to bleed.
But may I suggest a makeover
I simply need to takeover
You know
I know
Exactly what you need
Can't you see it in my face
Oh. This is the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry. Carlos Danger is no more
He's out the door
And now for sure
You. Will. Be.
POP U LURE.
The right kind of POP U LURE.
I'll teach you to zip your fly
You won't be that guy
With a camera down his pants. Oh.
I'll teach you what tweets to tweet
Something clean and sweet
We'll make sure you get your chance to be
POP U LURE.
The right kind of POP U LURE.
They'll think you've become a monk
'Though they've seen your junk.
Now you'll play a different show.
So let's start
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go
(Long. Well. Hmmm.)
Please pay attention to my frank analysis
Think of it as social media dialysis.
Now that you're running I'll become your pal-a-sis.
Your in advisor
You need someone wiser.
Someone to make you
Popular. The right kind of POP U LURE.
There'll be no more sexy texts
With your biceps flexed.
Your roaming eye will roam no more.
You want to be the mayor
Stop acting like a big ol' whore.
We'll try to make you POP U LURE.
Oh. Think about your dear wife Huma
Hope she's got a sense of huma
She should take a page from Hill-a-ry
And---be--come
Independent of her hubby
While you sport a chatroom chubby.
With all her brains and knowledge
She should be FREE to be
Popular. Please. I know she'd be POP U LURE.
The voters want leadership
Not some sexting drip.
There's no question she would be
Very, very popular like me.
Seriously, Huma. Woman-to-woman. If that guy doesn't zip up and unplug just kick him to the curb. And to Anthony Carlos Danger Weiner -- or whatever your name is--
As you may have guessed
My disinterest
In your running N-Y-C
Don't know if I can bear it
Your porno pop-u-lar-it TEE.
Sure you're popular
Just not quite as POP U LURE as me.
I felt the same urge...but was too lazy to actually do it. Thanks!