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Warwick woman accused of training pet bird to swear at ex-husband's new girlfriend
Providence Journal ^ | September 7, 2012 | Mike McKinney

Posted on 09/07/2012 8:00:21 AM PDT by ConservativeStatement

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To: Lazamataz

Wonder if we can come up with 101 reasons a parrot would make a better president than Obama?

1. A parrot doesn’t require a teleprompter to speak a sentence.
2. A parrot will work for peanuts.
3. A parrot and its mate fly for free.
4. A parrot will defend its territory.
5. A parrot knows the value of nest eggs.
6. A parrot doesn’t appease. It eats peas.
7. When a parrot bows towards you and its tail is down it isn’t to show you respect it is to tell you to back off or prepare to get bitten.
8. When a parrot bows and the tail is up, look out below- unlike the current president a parrot doesn’t just ooze the stuff constantly.
9. It is rare for a parrot to say the words “I” or “me.”
10. When a parrot yells “cracker!” it is not a racist smear, it is an order.
11. A parrot never pulls the race card.
12. A parrot doesn’t beg. It just expects you to do your business while it does its business.
13. A parrot has never won a Nobel Peace prize for doing absolutely nothing.
14. A parrot will never ban french fries.
15. A parrot never looks for itself in the newspaper.
16. A parrot can drop a message into the newspapers even if the press is biased.
17. A parrot can open a beer can with its beak.
18. When is the last time a parrot made an embarassing plea for the Olympic Games?
19. Parrots don’t golf.
20. Parrots aren’t addicted to taxpayer funded wagyu beef.
21. A parrot has no way to profit from insider information.
22. A parrot will never knowingly lie.
23. The First Hen will not attempt to raise your children.


41 posted on 09/07/2012 9:38:33 PM PDT by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
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To: Slings and Arrows

The President walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
Bartender asks, “where’d you get THAT?!?”
Parrot says: “Kenya!”


42 posted on 09/08/2012 12:44:06 AM PDT by golux
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To: golux

A Muslim, a communist, and an illegal alien walk into a bar.

The bartender says “What’ll it be, Mr President?”


43 posted on 09/08/2012 2:02:24 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: ConservativeStatement
Can you find the bird in this picture? - lolcats.com
44 posted on 09/08/2012 2:09:58 AM PDT by this_ol_patriot
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To: Revolting cat!; Slings and Arrows

The Avian war on women continues.


45 posted on 09/08/2012 8:10:47 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (The guy who was going to stop the rise of the oceans now canÂ’t even fend off a few raindrops.)
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To: a fool in paradise

Gotta keep ‘em birdfoot and pregnant.


46 posted on 09/08/2012 8:21:28 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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