Skip to comments.Family: Bullying To Blame In Wyoming 13 Year-Old's Suicide
Posted on 01/06/2012 5:39:26 AM PST by truthkeeper
CHEYENNE Alexander Frye was usually quiet and shy around other 13-year-olds. He was slow to make friends at school, his family said, and he was often teased and bullied by classmates.
With adults, Alex was a different person: He was talkative, made friendships easily and impressed even longtime Union Pacific veterans with his encyclopedic knowledge of trains.
About 200 of those adults packed the American Legion Post 6 hall on Wednesday for a police debriefing on Alex, who shot himself in a field south of the Union Pacific railyards early Sunday morning, according to the Laramie County coroner.
The discovery of Alexs body on Tuesday brought a tragic, abrupt end to three days of searching by hundreds of volunteers...
(Excerpt) Read more at trib.com ...
Getting serious, this is a very tragic story. But it will be further capitalized on by the homofascists for their own ends, which makes it even more tragic.
It is very hard for autistic people or those with Asperger's Syndrome to open up and talk to people. If only this boy had...I'm sure his family is heartbroken.
I can’t stand it.
I didn’t see any reference to anything “gay”.
Granted...the knee jerk reaction is always “bullying”.
In this story, that appears to be true.
The problem is...after all the “training” - and demands for this or that to be done by adults and kids?
The nature of bullying is that it is done on the sly.
And if you are bullied and go tell an adult? It gets worse.
If you are a bystander and report bullying? Then you start getting bullied.
Bullying is not new - it has not changed - when they taught kids that defending themselves would get in trouble, the problem got worse.
Many bullies stop when they get their own medicine fed back to them - kids aren’t taught this either, unless their parents teach them.
The problem is also worse now because of cell phones and internet. When we were kids we went home and had a break.
It is round the clock for the kids today.
You are so right about that.
School anti-bullying initiatives are usually focused on protecting gays but in this case it may not be. Too bad he didn’t learn that the secret to stopping a bully is a punch in the mouth.
Neither did I, yet these threads always are an excuse for some to rant and rave about anti-bullying programs being used to promote homosexuality. Its sad.
This is a story about a 13 year old boy, who appears from that picture to be small, who was teased and perhaps bullied. He was obsessed with trains and had an "encyclopedic" knowledge of them so if anything, he may have been slightly autistic. I can easily imagine a small, autistic boy being bullied.
But putting that aside, the message that people should get out of this story is the human tragedy of a sweet 13 year old being that upset and depressed that he kills himself. Not looking for a political agenda.
That’s so true.
Was bullied in middle school by one guy in particular.
One day the bully - probably twice my size - was giving me grief and saw he was getting my goat, and dared me to hit him.
So I did, first time in my life. Right smack in the face. He started going for me, and another of the upperclass larger dudes who had been watching, stopped him.
Never had a problem with the guy, or any other bully after that.
I think most kids need to do something like that at least once growing up.
No way around it.
What a tragic, heartbreaking waste.
If any parent believes his kid is being bullied in school, do yourself and him a favor - send him for martial arts training. It might have saved his life by giving him the physical ability to fight back and the self confidence to believe in himself.
As for the schools, they should treat bullying the way they treat the gun issue - and THAT they do with far less justification and carry to absurb extents.
Absolutely. Thank you, sweetheart...I am writing this through tears. This one really got to me.
So I did, first time in my life. Right smack in the face.
The most effective way to deal with a bully. Period.
Too bad the no tolerance policies have effectively made schools victim rich environments. If a victim punches back, they will be caught and probably expelled. They are then sent to the hard case school where the more violent kids are housed.
I was bullied without mercy at home by an older sister.
I credit her with giving me the ability to deal with bullies at school.
She was so bad at home - that I would actually laugh at anyone that tried it at school.
“But putting that aside, the message that people should get out of this story is the human tragedy of a sweet 13 year old being that upset and depressed that he kills himself. Not looking for a political agenda.”
Our culture has become very vulgar and aggressive.
Sweet souls like this get chewed right up.
I wonder whether there’s any relationship between having somehow successfully resolved incidents like this during childhood, and conservatism as an adult.
Or more precisely, a relationship between a childhood in which such incidents were (not) dealt with, and liberalism later, seeking to lord over others - in revenge.
When a child does not want to go to school, or has social difficulties in school, find another school for them or homeschool them immediately.
The Lord of the Flies mentality in most schools coupled with indifferent teachers and staff, can lead to enormous suffering, especially for those who are different. Autistic kids can have it very hard in school. Worked with a family which ignored my warning, child attempted, better ending though, misfire caused little damage.
I remember one small, Jewish kid who was bullied so badly in my school that he looked terrified when he sat in his seat in one class that had the bullies in it. He really couldn’t fight back. The bullies were huge kids and there were several. He was very small and shy and awkward looking. The teacher stopped them when he saw it but they were relentless. Looking back its a shame that some of us didn’t get together and stop the bullies. None of us liked them but we were too passive and didn’t want the hassle.
I just have that kid’s image in my head still — at times absolutely terrified to be in class.
An incredibly sad story, but to lay blame on bullying is to oversimplify his death.
I do not discount that it happened, nor do I lessen the emotional toll. I think it was but one factor which led to his suicide.
The question I ask is did he have any friends of his own age? No matter how much wisdom he had or how mature he was, he was a 13 year old boy without close friends of his own age. That speaks volumes [to me] regarding the inner turmoil he was dealing with. Was it bullying or a sense of isolation?
I know this isn’t really a “Crime, Law, and Justice” story...I just wanted to ping my friends on this thread.
hmmm...not exactly sure about that.
At the time I couldn’t have know she had “issues” (mental/emotional) and I just happened to be the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time.
It would have been worse if I had been home all day every day...but I wasn’t...I spent a giant chunk of my time at a local gym, so that was my oasis.
As far as conservatism? I definitely learned many important lessons...a bully cannot be reasoned with. You have to figure out their language and speak it forcefully.
I also learned that even if you are going to get pounded - if all you do is land one good shot, they’ll think twice before they do it again.
LOL sorry it’s not a funny subject, but there’s a word I hadn’t heard since being a kid.
I was meaning more, as a victim. You resolved the problem to the extent possible, via the gym. I’m just wondering about kids who don’t find a way out. Overwhelming odds, lack of something which brings them to whatever brings some sort of way out - who just internalize it.
Later when they grow up, projecting onto others the bully or the problem, and dedicating themselves to punishing those who now to them, represent the bully.
It’s something like that. Liberals clearly are in large part, about deliberately poking those they do not agree with, in the nose.
It’s the sort of psychic issue, which starts in childhood.
Liberalism isn’t about tolerance.
Liberalism is about revenge.
Now that you mention it - my liberal friends come in 2 categories...the “bleeding heart intellectual”. This type talks down to you in a condescending manner while kindly explaining to you that there is suffering in the world - didn’t you know? Oh that’s right - you’re a conservative, how could you possibly understand.
The other type must be the one you are talking about...class envy, economic envy, status envy, angry angry angry all the time. No matter how good they have it, somebody somewhere has it better than them - and they SHOULDN’T!
The revenge seekers - sometimes they also become your below-average creepy local cop.
Social media has fed a pack mentality among young people like never before. They are exposed to the darkest of the dark displays of abuse and hate. The Left - the ones supposedly in charge of ending bullying - are the biggest intolerant group thinkers and bullies of them all.
I sure wish they could have home schooled this child - at least through middle school. It is a life saving choice sometimes and often makes the difference between a damaged or successful learner. So sad for this child and his family. :(
It is the equivalent of the old writing on the bathroom wall.
There was a story the other day of a NYC teenager who stepped in front of a bus over bullying from a romantic rival.
Word spread about it and someone actually posted on the girls wall (paraphrase) - she threw herself in front of a bus, LMAO!.
What can be done about that type of soul-lessness?
I really don’t know.
We used to take basic decency for granted. Now we are surrounded by evil.
Well, at least he was the beneficiary of the public school system “socialization” that we homeschoolers are always being admonished about missing out on.
I remember middle school. The worst two years of my life.
Please don’t misunderstand this post. The first sentence has an INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH /SARC TAG IMPLIED.
“When a child does not want to go to school, or has social difficulties in school, find another school for them or homeschool them immediately.”
You’re exactly right.
Some kids, through no fault of their own, just wind up friendless. No one wants to eat lunch with them. No one wants to hang out with them after school.
No pep talks about “standing up for yourself” help, because it isn’t a case of “bullies” physically abusing them; the problem is everyone just ignores them.
Most people get through those nightmare years, but some kids at the bottom of the pecking order simply can’t take it. Not to blame this boy’s parents — they probably did okay in school and couldn’t imagine what the problem could be — but all parents should be on the look-out for these kids and get them the hell out of school ASAP — home school, tutors — whatever it takes.
You are right. It always amazes me. If someeone came up to me in work and punched me or even pushed me down, I could have them arrested for assault. Yet when kids punch or push or beat up other kids, there is a tolerance that its all part of growing up. Getting in a fight every once in a while may be part of growing up but daily abuse should not be. A kid should not have to be prepared to fight every day. Especially when you consider that kids at certain ages grow at different rates and some kids are physically small and really can't fight back.
Punching a bully only works if your strong enough to do it again, after the bully kicks the shiat out of you.
If you’re strong enough, doing that one punch would only make it worse.
This story is garnering national attention in the rail and railfan community. At noon today BNSF and UP trains will sound their horns in Cheyenne. Web sites and Facebook pages are discussing his death and how the symptoms of a potential suicide were missed and what can be done to prevent a future occurrence. That the tragedy has affected the local community is an understatement. When you have 200 people attend a police debriefing in the middle of a workday is amazing.
I think it is missing the point to try to analyze from afar whether this person was autistic or gay or whatever, and focus instead on what those of us involved in the hobby can do to recognize what problems young people may have with their peers, and ask, listen, mentor and assist so as to prevent a similar event.
After I am home I will send you a FReepmail, if you don't mind.
One thing not often recognized by the public is that suicide by train is not an uncommon occurrence. For example, multiple deaths occur on the passenger lines in the San Francisco bay area. Often the focus is on the person who died and his/her family. Not so common is the mental anguish felt by the engineer operating the locomotive who can do nothing but watch as a person determined to die steps out in front of a 70 mph speeding locomotive. That sight stays with the engineer and every time he sees a person too close to the tracks he wonders if there will be a repeat event. An accident where a car gets stuck on the tracks, or even someone trying to beat the train to a crossing is one thing; someone determined to die is another. More than one railroader has taken another job after dealing with emotions after one or multiple occurrences.
“Punching a bully only works if your strong enough to do it again, after the bully kicks the shiat out of you. If youre strong enough, doing that one punch would only make it worse”
That possibility exists, however in the vast majority of cases it seems to work. In most cases bullys are larger/stronger than their victims but it still seems to work. I don’t argue with success.
There’s another sad story about a young teenage girl who threw herself in front of a bus to escape bullying. She was so pretty, too.
We had bullying in high school, too, but nothing like this!
What a tragic story. Oftentimes, bullying tends to be the catchall reason, but it eventually turns out that family life has a lot more to do with the rationale...low self-esteem, depression, ineffectual parenting, etc... Sad.
Did it once. Broke his nose. That was the end of it.
If you’re going to do it, hit fast and hit as hard as you can.
Bullying sucks but bullies suck harder. Used to be a patrol leader for years. They would send me all the bullies. :)
Never had any troubles with them, but then they knew that they were in for a world of hurt if they even so much as touched anybody else.
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