Posted on 08/24/2011 11:54:08 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
For those of you anxiously awaiting the second coming, it may be arriving soon.
Though it is true that the Apocalypse might not be far off, I’m not talking about Jesus Christ. I’m referring instead to His second-in-command, Sarah Palin.
When GOP strategist Karl Rove predicted Sunday that Palin will likely run for President, I immediately sought consolation from my booze cabinet.
I realize most think she has a snowball’s chance in Hell of winning the election (not that Palin would ever be in Hell), but I ask you this — what if she does? I threatened to emigrate when Barack Hussein Obama won the presidency in 2008, but if Palin has the surprising misfortune of becoming our next commander in chief, I just might.
Take a second to imagine Sarah Palin’s ideal America.
For starters, there would be no abortion. Forget the fact we are already reaching our world’s carrying capacity and outlawing abortion would create bigger government by massively inflating our welfare system. No, if one of those tiny little sperm nestles in that egg, then it was mandated by God and deserves its full constitutional rights.
Oh, and no condoms! From now on, everyone will be taught to practice abstinence until they get married and desire children. After all, abstinence education works. Just ask Bristol.
What about gay marriage? That won’t be a problem. There won’t be any gays. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says he dispelled homosexuality from Iran. If they can do it, so can America. We’ll just treat everyone afflicted with homosexuality in Christian rehab centers so they’ll be all better again just like Pastor Ted Haggard.
Speaking of Iran, foreign policy under a Palin administration will be a no-brainer. President Theodore Roosevelt once proclaimed, “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” The Palin Doctrine will just simplify that to “We gotcha!” That way, the uneducated savages out in those non-American countries know we mean business. How many countries can we occupy at the end of four years? We’ll find out! South Korea — beware! Palin can’t seem to remember which one of you Korean folk are the commies (“Sarah Palin: we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies”, Nov. 25, 2010). There’s a 50/50 shot she’ll be coming after you.
And the economy? That should be the easy part. Palin was the governor of the least populous state in the country for a whopping two and a half years. Running the world’s largest national economy will be a breeze. She knows exactly how to end that nasty budget crisis we have. She doesn’t actually have to come up with a fiscally responsible plan. She’ll just say the magic words. Tax cuts, tax cuts, tax cuts.
See, it works like it did for Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz”. If you say the magic words enough times, we’ll all be teleported to a sepia-colored world where we can live happily ever after.
For those of you that take everything seriously, I may have slightly exaggerated Sarah Palin’s America. “The Wizard of Oz” thing isn’t true. But in reality, Sarah Palin does not have the leadership ability and common sense to be the 45th President of the United States.
I hope the GOP can come up with a viable, fiscally conservative candidate to defeat President Obama in 2012. Sarah Palin is just not that gal.
... source
Not that it matters, but Wyoming, North Dakota, and Vermont all have smaller populations than Alaska.
LOL!
If this had happened to one of the current First Daughters, the unborn child would be murdered quietly and conveniently, because after all... Obamuhammad ibn Hussein al-Baracki doesn't want his daughters "punished with a baby."
Oh, I get it. Innocent humans that need to be seen with a microscope, no rights...Actual foreign terrorists on the battle field, miranda rights...GOT IT! -looney lib
If that was written by a university student, I fear for the future of university. It reads like it was written by a middle-school child.
Meanwhile our fat ass for a first lady just pissed away 10 million of our tax dollars on crap for herself
Actually, let's just turn the clock back to end of civil war 1865, and we can start all over from there.
Don't talk about it. Do it.
Otherwise you're just another Blow Hole.
South Korea — beware! Palin can’t seem to remember which one of you Korean folk are the commies (“Sarah Palin: we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies”, Nov. 25, 2010). There’s a 50/50 shot she’ll be coming after you.
LMAO!!!!
[ But in reality, Sarah Palin does not have the leadership ability and common sense to be the 45th President of the United States. ]
And who does?... BArry Half-White?.. Myth Romney?.. Juan McLaim?.. maybe the Hildebeast?..
Jeremy is smoking some wacky stuff.. rolling his eyes and drooling..
How can you forget "Ricky Ricardo Perry"?
If any of the money went for food it better be FAT FREE.
Better yet, 1775
It's morons like Jeremy that need to be purged from the GOP with stupid statements like these. These statements are made by dumb libs.
Do they speak “Austrian” there? Or have 57 states?
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