We each have a weekly allowance that can be spent any way we like. I set some of that aside so that, when someone I love needs a little boost, I can help them. I tell them it’s not a gift, it’s a “pay it forward” loan. The amounts are never huge, and totally based on what I have set aside at that point. If I get to the point I have quite a bit set aside, I’ll take some of that and pay down a bill, or buy something I’ve been eying for a while. Any other spending has to be agreed to before the money is dispersed.
Handing cash to people is fraught with danger....to them. My siblings had the opposite approach and they are paying for it to this day. They took money from my parents constantly. One hasn’t held a job in over a decade and the other works a part-time job. When my sister was in her “cocaine days”, I bought her food because even gift cards got turned into coke. Not practical food but more exotic food that she liked. Olives, artichoke hearts, that kind of stuff.
I’ve just stopped buying stuff. I get books at the library and read them on the deck. I don’t need any more stuff.