Posted on 11/17/2010 5:08:18 AM PST by Kaslin
Are Barack Obama's poll numbers up, or is Janet Napolitano just happy to see us?
This week, the TSA began installing full-body scanners in airports across the country. TSA employees will be viewing us in our birthday suits each time we fly. Pregnant women and children will not be subjected to these scans due to low doses of radiation; frequent fliers, however, will soon be glowing in the dark.
If we opt not to participate in such full-body scans, we will be subjected to Paris Hilton-style pat-downs by members of the same gender (TSA employees will be baffled by Chaz/Chastity Bono). The TSA has announced that pat-downs, in fact, are not enough -- screeners will utilize a "hand-sliding motion" to examine passengers' genitals, buttocks and breasts. In some cases already, TSA employees have been sticking their hands down the pants of passengers.
The only question now is whether the TSA porn movie will be titled: (a) Transportation Sexuality Administration; (b) Flying The Friendly Skies; (c) The Mile High Club; or (d) Pee-Wee's Big Airplane Adventure.
Bill Clinton is so excited that he just applied for a job at TSA.
He wouldn't be the only sexual aggressor to be working for the agency if hired. Back in March, TSA employee Sean Shanahan, who was responsible for patting down passengers including children, was indicted for multiple child sex crimes. In 2004, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) admitted that TSA put employees into action patting down passengers without even finishing background checks. That same report also stated that DHS did not disqualify applicants unless they had been convicted of felony rape or sexual abuse in the last 10 years -- so if they raped somebody 11 years ago, no problem. Judicial Watch reports that TSA has also hired illegal aliens and given them security badges in the past.
But we're supposed to trust the TSA. "We are frequently reminded that our enemy is creative and willing to go to great lengths to evade detection," the TSA explains, touting its new policies.
It's true that the enemy is willing to go to great lengths to evade detection. There is one length to which they will not go, however: converting to Christianity, Judaism or Hinduism. Our enemies are Muslim. That makes them much easier to profile. It means that we shouldn't expend resources allowing Bubba the Junior High Graduate to get off on naked scans of the nearest nun -- we should expend resources on behavior, racial, ethnic and religious profiling.
Here's the boilerplate disclaimer: not all Muslims are terrorists. And not all rectangles are squares. But all squares are rectangles, and every terrorist attempting to blow up American airplanes is Muslim.
Secretary of Homeland Security Napolitano cites the attempted Christmas Day bombing of an American airliner last year as the rationale for the new scanning procedures. Let's follow her logic. On Dec. 25, 2009, a young Muslim Nigerian named Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab traveled through security. He then boarded an airplane from Amsterdam to Detroit, and then took a quick trip to the bathroom, where he stuffed plastic explosives up his posterior. He then returned to the cabin and injected the plastic explosive with triacetone triperoxide. The bomb didn't go off, and he ended up with a scorched set of Rocky Mountain oysters.
Napolitano's solution to this problem: Send 621 million passengers through full-body scanners and then have could-be-perverts grab their butts.
I'll make Napolitano a deal: I'll accept her new security measures if she applies those same security measures to those illegally crossing our southern border.
The irony of all this is that it won't make us safer. Not one whit. So long as we treat nuns and imams the same way at the security gate, we're doomed to failure. You can't find bombs when you search 621 million passengers; they could be hidden anywhere, including Abdulmutallab's secret favorite spot. Terrorists already know how to beat this system. The scanners don't pick up what's inside body cavities. They don't make our luggage screening system any better (seriously, is there anyone in the United States who hasn't accidentally passed a pocketknife, nail clipper or Mace through security?). All this does is overload the system even further so that by the time our intrepid and steadfast TSA agents examine Muslims, they're so tired of prodding and poking that they do a cursory job.
Barack Obama and Janet Napolitano are so used to putting their hands in our pockets they can't understand why we'd object to them moving a few inches south. But we do object. Political correctness not only irks, it kills. If they get their way, planes will still be blown out of the sky. Here's the good news: At least less Americans will die, because fewer of us will be on those planes in the first place.
"No. Absolutely NOT.
The protection of Moslems and undocumented aliens
is the first, primary, and ONLY concern of the Obama Administration.
Just as we have exempted them from ObamaCARE and its burdensome taxes,
Moslems will forever be excused and protected
from our imposed invasive breast and pelvic examinations, and
from the nude pictures we assemble, store, and distribute overseas of Americans."
So the ‘pants on the ground’ young’uns saw this coming??
Take a ride on the DC Metro to see how full disclosure can occur without laying a hand on a homey;)
9/11 hijackers = No sharp objects on planes.
(Attempted) Shoe bomber = shoes inspected before flights.
(Threat of) Liquid explosives = No liquids on flights.
(Attempted) Underwear bomber = Virtual strip search/groin groped before flights.
(Threat of) PETN/C4 in body cavities - ????? government response.
Will the TSA be doing body cavity searches on 3 year olds and 70 year old after the threat of “The Anus Bomber”?? Will Napilitano and the Obama family submit to cavity searches in the name of “security”?
When my wife goes through security, she gets pat-down from the Ashton Kutcher look-a-like TSA agent.
When I go through security, I get the Helen Thomas look-a-like.
In your PANTS!
Love the caption under Janet’s pic!! Ain’t it the truth.
Our local talk radio station is advocating the “opt out” day next week.
I wonder what they will do with old people who can’t raise their arms over their heads to comply and guys like my youngest brother who have had testicular cancer - are they going to grope him looking for the one that isn’t there?
This may be the tipping point...
I’m all for giving extra scrutiny to suspicous passengers, and I gotta say those girls on the Arizona State cheerleading squad look like they could use some extra special screening.
Morning LEL!
Here’s a question for all of you...
If the TSA is going to be running their hands around in my pants (and everyone elses pants), are we all going to make them get a fresh set of gloves for each passenger? I think I’m going to demand that next time I fly...
“And not all rectangles are squares. But all squares are rectangles,”
Somebody failed geometry.
great way to pass scabies around. they should change gloves
How many Obama supporters fly? They’re either below the poverty line or fly their own private jets ... or pervs who enjoy public fondling if they do fly. (Almost misspelled “public” ... spell check allows the word without the “l”.)
America, don't stand for this!
I observed one of these patdowns in the Cincinnati Airport (CVG) The woman was Indian. (dot not feather). She was right out in the open and everyone on the line could watch the procedure.
A woman felt every single part of her body. Head to toe. I was embarrassed for her but she stood there with a smile on her face. No part was untouched. Then she told the woman to remain standing there while the screener went to another station and had the gloves tested.
Not something I look forward to when flying for the holidays. That airport did not have the scanners yet, to my knowledge.
So from what I understand this deployment of imaging machines (Which George Soros is heavily invested) is the result of the “crotch bomber” event last year.
Taken to the next logical conclusion, the next terrorist will just have to insert -whatever- into a body cavity in order to get by the body scanners.
So does that mean body cavity searches or high(er) powered x-ray machines are in our future?
Sorry, I didn’t see your response. You beat me to it, and I agree.
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