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Read This Bleeping Column
Townhall.com ^ | December 12, 2008 | David Harsanyi

Posted on 12/12/2008 4:36:04 AM PST by Kaslin

Some experts claim that the English language contains nearly a million words -- approximately 30 of them classified as curses. In Ephesians 4:29, it clearly states, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths."

Still, every now and then, filthy language can come in handy.

My first foray into journalism was under the tutelage of a legendary sportscaster, whose genteel face and grandfatherly advice brought him much adulation. So you can imagine that I was floored when on my first day at the office, the man unleashed a cluster bomb of expletives that could have sent Samuel L. Jackson recoiling in horror.

Nevertheless, he made a point, and I never forgot it. Since then, I have remained an enthusiastic proponent of (selective) explicit language. Sometimes there are no gracious words to convey your emotions properly. And like most of you, I've heard expletives my entire life. It's really not all that scandalous.

Then again, we also may agree that in certain places -- such as San Quentin and Illinois -- profanity is overutilized as verbs, adjectives and articles, stultifying the impact of otherwise-outstanding cuss words.

When Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is heard on federal wiretaps advocating the firing of Chicago Tribune editorial writers, at one point he says: "Our recommendation is fire all those f------ people. Get 'em the f--- out of there, and get us some editorial support."

In this case, the profanity punctuates the seriousness of Blago's desire to dismiss antagonist members of the Chicago press. Assertive. Effective. I get it. After that, I'm afraid, things get out of hand.

"These f------ are telling me that I have to suck it up for two years and give motherf------ Obama his senator pick. F--- him. For nothing? F--- him. I'll put some d----- b-- in the Senate before I just give (Senate candidate No. 1) a f------ Senate seat and I don't get anything."

You see, here, gratuitous use of the F-word -- in all its incarnations -- has transformed a perfectly respectable attempt at bribery into an unintelligible tirade, which overall exposes a man on the abyss of a Joe Pesci moment.

The extraordinary aspect to this is that I am only subjected to this kind of language watching Quentin Tarantino films and reading FBI transcripts of elected officials. What's surprising, as well, is that this lingo, as crass as it is, elicited very few complaints from the general public.

When the infamous tapes of Richard Nixon were first released to the public, in addition to hearing White House scheming, Americans were faced with the reality that presidents dish out profanity like football players. It was shocking.

Nixon, in fact, apologized for using naughty words, saying that while he had heard "other presidents use very earthy language in the Oval Office" (biographers claim that John Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson were the masters), he also "had the bad judgment to have it on tape."

An Associated Press-Ipsos study found that 74 percent of Americans "frequently" or "occasionally" hear people cursing in public and believe the use of profanity is on the rise in the nation.

Maybe profanity is now on the surface of society rather than on the rise. Maybe the mythical America of linguistic purity is fading forever. Maybe it never existed in the first place. No matter what, it's not the end of the world.

The Federal Communications Commission recently brought a case before the Supreme Court that tackled the issue of obscene words on radio and television broadcasts during daytime and early evening hours. At the time, Justice Antonin Scalia joked, "Bawdy jokes are OK if they are really good."

This comment upset some culture warriors, but the point may be more insightful than it seems. Curses can be funny. And adults can handle dirty words. Adults, for the most part, understand when curses are appropriate and when they aren't. There is a right time and place for everything.

The wrong place? A federal wiretap, for instance. Or in front of your innocent 5-year-old daughter -- who then proceeds to build a song around the F-word to perform for your wife.

Hey, &-!$ happens.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Politics/Elections
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1 posted on 12/12/2008 4:36:04 AM PST by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

I understand Rahm E. is a master potty-mouth too. Sigh....seems we are being led by people with limited vocabulary and no self-control.


2 posted on 12/12/2008 4:41:50 AM PST by anniegetyourgun
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To: Kaslin
An expletive here or there is one thing, but the F word becomes a habit for some people. I worked with a woman in the '80's who seemed to utter it hundreds of times a day. As for the flip side, I fondly remember my 4-is yr old twins arguing in the back seat about what the "S" word was

Twin A: "Do you know it?"

Twin B: "Yes I do, but I'm not gonna tell YOU"

A: "I bet you really don't know what it is"

B: "Oh yes I do!!" (leans forward to whisper in her sister's ear because daring to say it out loud would be, well, BAD)..." ("it's STUPID!)"

3 posted on 12/12/2008 4:45:57 AM PST by Mygirlsmom (Hope is gone. Change is coming.)
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To: Kaslin

Years ago I let my kids watch Good Morning Viet Nam and told them that if they ever found themselves in a war zone, they could also use that language but not otherwise. Recently I watch Men in Black with my 8 year old granddaughter and told her that if she were fighting intergalactic monsters she could use that language but not otherwise.


4 posted on 12/12/2008 5:01:02 AM PST by Mercat (God doesn't call me to be successful. God calls me to be faithful. Mother Teresa)
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To: Mercat

Actually I’m more concerned about commercials on TV. The other evening I was watching a perfectly wonderful show on TV with very educational scientific content and one of the commercials had two people french kissing and then the next commercial was for Viagra and left very little to the imagination. Sigh.


5 posted on 12/12/2008 5:03:03 AM PST by Mercat (God doesn't call me to be successful. God calls me to be faithful. Mother Teresa)
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To: Kaslin

Many years ago as I was driving my then 4 year old to preschool, another driver cut me off and before I knew it the word was out of my mouth.

Later that day when I returned home from work, Mrs. Henkster said “So...Jimmy tells me you guys saw a “tickhead” on the way to school this morning.”

Yeah...I guess I did see one of those....


6 posted on 12/12/2008 5:06:20 AM PST by henkster (Welcome to the Union of Socialist States of America. You are ordered to enjoy your stay.)
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To: Mercat

Judging by TV comercials, the worst things in the world that can happen to you are erectile dysfunction, not getting your structured settlement money when you want it, and not being ready for the digital TV conversion.


7 posted on 12/12/2008 5:07:57 AM PST by far sider
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To: Kaslin

He starts out well by quoting Ephesians 4:29, but then proceeds to ignore its implications.


8 posted on 12/12/2008 5:19:25 AM PST by Drawsing (The fool shows his annoyance at once. The prudent man overlooks an insult. (Proverbs 12:16))
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To: Kaslin

And like most of you, I’ve heard expletives my entire life. It’s really not all that scandalous.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I love that scene in “American Christmas” where Chevy Chase hauls off on a long string of expletives about his boss. Laugh every time I see it.


9 posted on 12/12/2008 5:37:56 AM PST by wintertime
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To: Kaslin
I grew up in the days when a Sunday afternoon drive was a staple of many a family. It was my grandfather who did the driving, in his brand new 1950 Cadillac, and he was famous for turning the air in car blue with respect to other drivers. One Sunday he was under the weather and my Uncle Jack took over the driving duties for our Sunday afternoon outing. When we got back my grandfather asked me how it went and what did we see. I responded, about six-years-old at the time, that we had seen cows, and horses and a pig. Then almost as an afterthought added, “But you know, Pops, we didn't see a single g— d-— s— of a b-—— the whole day!”

Out of the mouths of babies!

10 posted on 12/12/2008 5:38:41 AM PST by jwparkerjr (God Bless America!)
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To: Kaslin

Let’s all share a moment of silence in honor of the late, great profanity activist George Carlin. He devoted his life to the advancement of profanity.


11 posted on 12/12/2008 5:55:55 AM PST by Lucas McCain
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To: henkster

In the following hilarious short/advert, a guy acquires the nickname “dualbag” after boasting he bought his wife a “dual bag” vacuum for their anniversary.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wTg6YB2PRA

Don’t watch it if you’re one of those women-hating men. But for the rest of us...


12 posted on 12/12/2008 6:09:33 AM PST by XEHRpa
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To: Kaslin
Blagojevich and his cronies are rank amateurs when it comes to effective cursing compared to my forbears ,who would swear creatively in English and Hungarian,which is no mean feat.

I can also remember an old CPO from early in my Navy career who was a veteran of the old China Fleet days who would cause them to shrivel at his tirades. It takes more than haphazardly flinging the "F" word around to be a quality curser.

13 posted on 12/12/2008 6:09:57 AM PST by oldsalt (There's no such thing as a free lunch.)
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To: henkster
With me it was my three year old son who heard me say something about a careless driver who cut us off. A short time later he said "Look out dad. Here comes another crazy bastxxd.

True!

14 posted on 12/12/2008 6:11:53 AM PST by OldEagle
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To: Mygirlsmom

LOL! Great story!


15 posted on 12/12/2008 6:14:22 AM PST by livius
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To: oldsalt
I can also remember an old CPO from early in my Navy career who was a veteran of the old China Fleet days who would cause them to shrivel at his tirades. It takes more than haphazardly flinging the "F" word around to be a quality curser.

I was Air Force, not Navy, but I learned at the side of an old-time Chief Master Sergeant. Hardest thing for me after leaving the military was cleaning up my language, but I've done pretty well - unless something ticks me off. I was driving into work one morning with my best friend, when someone in the lane next to me decided to turn across my lane - missed us by maybe two inches. I cooked off - about two minutes of blue. After I finished, Rick looked at me and said, "That wasn't anywhere close to being a sentence, but I understood exactly what you meant."

16 posted on 12/12/2008 6:28:53 AM PST by Tennessee_Bob (They're illegal aliens, not immigrants - there is a difference!)
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To: Kaslin; hiredhand; NFHale; Squantos
in front of your innocent 5-year-old daughter --

ouch...just before the election, during one of the many moronic baldfaced lying campaign commercials...I slipped out a rather loud 'B---S---' !!!

to which my sweet little 2 yr old girl looked at me and VERY gleefully replied "Buuw-sh!t " !!!

/slinkin away very redfaced...

17 posted on 12/12/2008 6:33:48 AM PST by Gilbo_3 ("JesusChrist 08"...Trust in the Lord......=...LiveFReeOr Die...)
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To: Kaslin

Classic. But I’m not sure I know “approximately 30”.

Disallowing compound usage to try adding intensity...

I can think of s-, da-, f-, m-f- is unique, di-, pi-,p-y oh really bad c-, j- I suppose some people think a-,then there is a-h-.

That’s what 11.

h-ll is one I suppose so that’s 13.

hmmm....as ex-navy I should be able to produce the litany in my sleep, but I seem to be short half my salt. I feel I’ve let my chief down.


18 posted on 12/12/2008 6:34:47 AM PST by reed13 (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.")
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To: Gilbo_3

Of course how silly of me b-s- makes 14.


19 posted on 12/12/2008 6:36:35 AM PST by reed13 (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.")
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To: reed13

Another c-, this one with an o instead of a u. makes 15. hey 1/2 way there.


20 posted on 12/12/2008 6:37:48 AM PST by reed13 (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.")
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