Posted on 08/15/2008 4:49:50 AM PDT by Kaslin
With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, you just might be a liberal if...
* You're sure the Constitution explicitly guarantees the right to abortion and gay marriage, but not the right to own a handgun.
* You think Dan Quayle is the dumbest Vice-President we ever had because he believed a flash card that misspelled "potato," but think Obama is a genius despite the fact he believes we have more than 57 states.
* You'd be more upset about your favorite candidate being endorsed by the NRA than the Communist Party.
* You think the same criminals who use guns in the commission of a crime will just hand them over to comply with the law if guns are made illegal.
* You know that 86% of all income taxes are paid by the top 25% of income earners and you still feel that the rich "aren't paying their fair share of the taxes."
* You put a higher priority on oil pipelines possibly inconveniencing a few caribou than you do on lowering the price of gas for everyone in the country by drilling ANWR.
* You're worried that Osama Bin Laden might not get a fair trial if we capture him, but want George Bush thrown in prison for being too zealous in protecting us from Al-Qaeda.
* You get infuriated when you hear about the CEO of a Fortune 500 company making tens of millions of dollars, but don't see a problem with an actor, basketball player, or trial lawyer making the same amount.
* You're constantly seeing subtle, coded racism in campaign ads, but see nothing racist about blacks being promoted over more qualified white applicants because of Affirmative Action.
* You think it's obscene that oil companies are allowed to make 8.3 cents per gallon in profit with gas prices this high, but would never suggest cutting the 13 cents per gallon they pay on taxes to reduce the price of gas.
* You think George Bush is a chickenhawk because he wanted to fight in Iraq and Afghanistan despite the fact that he only served in the National Guard, but you don't think the same about Barack Obama, who has never served in the military and probably couldn't find either country on a map without help.
* You think protesting outside of abortion clinics is extremism and should be illegal, but carrying around giant puppet heads while wearing a t-shirt that compares Bush to Hitler is just exercising your First Amendment rights.
* You think the case for global warming is proven without a shadow of a doubt, but that we need another century or two worth of evidence to figure out if capitalism and free markets work better than socialism.
* You believe the best way to fix the government screwing something up in the market is with...drumroll, please...more government intervention.
* You think the first thing we should have done when Russia invaded Georgia was to take the matter to the United Nations, where Russia sits on the UN Security Council.
* You spend your days criticizing the use of private jets, SUVS, and luxurious houses that consume enormous amounts of resources and then ride in an SUV to the airport, get on your private plane, and fly home to your luxurious house.
* You have more nice things to say about countries like Cuba and France than you do about your own country.
* You think the war in Iraq is unwinnable, but victory in the war on poverty is going to happen any day now if we can just get the Democrats back in charge.
* You won't even support English as our national language, but can't seem to understand why people worry about tens of millions of illegal aliens changing our culture.
* You think censorship is absolutely wrong; except when it's applied to conservatives on college campuses or on talk radio via the fairness doctrine.
* You get more upset about an American soldier accidentally killing a civilian than you do about a terrorist deliberately blowing up a school bus full of kids.
* You think Fox News is hopelessly biased to the right, but MSNBC, CNN, NBC, ABC, and CBS call it right down the middle.
* You think the real hero of the Cold War was Mikhail Gorbachev.
* You couldn't care less about what Americans in states like Kansas or Virginia think of you, but you would be greatly upset if a Frenchman gave you a dirty look because you're an American.
* You think kids in public schools should have to watch Earth in the Balance and read Heather Has Two Mommies, but no piece of literature with the word "Jesus" on it should be allowed within a hundred yards of a school
A lot of us are congratulating ourselves as well.
Good list. Thanks for posting it.
(Except that libs wont get dirty looks from a frenchman because they will be wearing their Che T-shirt.)
Thanks, I feel better about myself now.
Thanks and Bookmark
btt
“You can watch a 15 year old girl performing a live sex act on stage and wonder if she’s being paid a living wage.”
Anne Coulter
I'll post my list as a vanity...
Cheers!
LOL...ditto!
Where did you get a copy of the Democrat party platform before their convention?
Why Does The Left Hate Western Civilization?
“We’ve got to ask, why is this man (Osama bin Laden) so popular around the world?,” said Murray, who faces re-election in 2004. “Why are people so supportive of him in many countries . . . that are riddled with poverty?
“He’s been out in these countries for decades, building schools, building roads, building infrastructure, building day care facilities, building health care facilities, and the people are extremely grateful. We haven’t done that.
“How would they look at us today if we had been there helping them with some of that rather than just being the people who are going to bomb in Iraq and go to Afghanistan?”
Senator Patrick Murray (D-Wash)
........................................
Much of the policy drive on the left comes from people with a great deal of money and their paid lackeys. They determine on a day to day basis ( environmental problems/homophobes/racists/whathaveyou) what evil America is guilty of.
If you're not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you're not a conservative at forty you have no brain.
Winston Churchill
The puppets and Bush/Hitler shirts/signs are pretty tame when compared to the homo "street fairs" in San Fran that zombietime has chronicled.
You think “Tolerance” and “Diversity” are the first two amendments in the Bill of Rights.
bump
*you think that pawpaw mccain will nominate a conservative to the SCOTUS
You think THAT’S confusing, how about reading “The Road to Serfdom”
and having the viewpoint opposite of socialism referred to as “liberal”,
which, strictly speaking, before the leftist/fascist/socialists co-opted the word, is correct. It means liberty - INDIVIDUAL liberty.
I have another one for the list:
“If you have that special combination of ignorance and arrogance required to think you are wiser than anyone who ever lived - you might be a liberal.”
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