Global warming turns people 'gay'

WND ^ | Thursday, February 8, 2007 | Larry Elder

[IrishMike]

Global warming alarmists – despite their best efforts – seem incapable of convincing the Bush administration. So here's my suggestion. Make the scientists tell the president that global warming turns people gay.

The idea came to me after seeing a Super Bowl Snickers commercial and learning of the "controversy" that followed it. In the ad, two guys chewing on either end of the candy bar inadvertently touch lips. Shocked, they decide to do something "manly" and demonstrate their heterosexuality. How? They pull down their shirts and rip off their chest hairs. A pro-gay-rights group called the ad homophobic and demanded the Snickers people stop showing it. Clearly, America runs rampant with gay-haters.

So, imagine if scientists simply told Bush that global warming made people gay. .........

Sixty Canadian scientists wrote a letter to their country's prime minister, urging an "independent climate-science review," because "billions of dollars earmarked for implementation of the [Kyoto] protocol in Canada will be squandered without a proper assessment of recent developments in climate science."

Others, like economist Julian Morris, suggest that spending all this money on Kyoto impoverishes the planet with very little gain. "But the same people who predict massive climate changes," says Morris, "also predict that in order for those climate changes to occur, we would have had enormous amounts of economic growth. So, the poorest people in the world will no longer be poor. ... The reality is that in the future, people will be wealthy enough to adapt to pretty much any change that is likely to happen."

Confused? Me, too. So let's put all this uncertainty and speculation to rest, and get moving: Global warming turns people gay.

[Einigkeit_Recht_Freiheit]

Amusing.

[Muzzle_em]

Hey, if enough people "agree" that this is "probably" what is happening, it becomes scientific fact!
At least that's the latest HOOEY that has been happening with the global warming crowd.

I believe the planet is warming very slightly (although the past couple of weeks have been bitter cold), but I believe it is thawing out from the ice age. I think man is VERY ARROGANT to think he is contributing to something so massive as climate change. Only God can do that.

[Einigkeit_Recht_Freiheit]

Hey, if enough people "agree" that this is "probably" what is happening, it becomes scientific fact!

Only God can do that.

Would you consider God a fact?

I am certain it will elicit flaming, but there is almost certainly more scientific evidence of anthropogenic climate change than their is for God.

[50sDad]

Recent data shows Mars is warming...without a single human or internal combustion engine. Volcanos pour more co2 in the air than cars...where is the public outrage to cap all the volcanos? Geologic records show the Earth has gone through waves of heating and cooling; how do we know this wave is our problem? The majority of countries shackled by emissions controlled are the developed ones, while advancing economic giants like China are heating with dirty coal...and no penalties on their growth.

[Muzzle_em]

I consider God as fact, but I know many people do not and that is their right to believe that.
Just as they wouldn't want my God forced upon them, I do not want global warming "beliefs" forced upon me.

[L98Fiero]

Both are religions. One no more zealous than the other. Matter of fact, I don't hear calls for anybody to lose their jobs or professional credentials if they don't believe in God nor do I hear Atheists referred to as "Holocaust deniers".

Hmmm, maybe one is more zealous than the other.

[agere_contra]

but there is almost certainly more scientific evidence of anthropogenic climate change

Such as - for instance - the IPCC hockey stick graph? The mishmash of heterogenous modelling methods that gave a graph of climate history that somehow missed out the mediaeval warm period and the little ice age? That scientific evidence?

[Einigkeit_Recht_Freiheit]

Hmmm, maybe one is more zealous than the other.

New religions are always zealous.

[L98Fiero]

Indeed they are.

[Einigkeit_Recht_Freiheit]

You seem to have your talking points down at least.

Of course you realize that "hockey stick graph" is just the dumbed down American version of an exponential growth curve more intelligently noted as "x squared".

In the other points you mentioned, both were accompanied by increases in CO2 concentration far below what we are currently seeing and the temperature shift far slower than current trends.

If you would like to extrapolate back several more millions of years, you can find CO2 concentrations similar to what we have now and a much warmer planet.

Of course anything that goes back earlier than 2 million years is of little value because that is when North and South America joined and we had separation of the Atlantic and Pacific, drastically altering global weather patterns and therefore vegetation respiration.

[Paisan]

OK, but here's the real problem.
While most will acknowledge that Global Warming is a BAD thing, how do we convince this Politically Correct World that being Gay is a bad thing???

[william clark]

"You know how I know you're gay?"

[JimRed]

While most will acknowledge that Global Warming is a BAD thing...

Says who? A shorter heating season, a longer growing season, and the eventual drowning of east and west coast liberal enclaves might be a GOOD thing!

;^)

[agere_contra]

The hockey stick graph is based on a model which has been shown to give indistinguishable results when given 'red noise' instead of real data.

('Red noise' is like 'white noise' except that the random data is distributed by octave)

Also - as mentioned earlier - it manages to leave out two well attested temperature variations from the European land mass. The warm period - 2 deg C warmer than today - that allowed the vikings to colonise Greenland, and the following cold period that - at its coldest - led to frost fairs on the Thames for decades.

These two periods show a broadly sinusoidal oscillation which carries through into the present day. We (Western Europe anyway) would appear to be on a slow sinusoidal "up" which will last a century or two. I will post the relevant graph up in a bit - my FTP access isn't what it used to be.

The key issue is this: (European) climate does indeed appear to be warming, and I have little doubt that it will continue to do so. But the warming is if anything slower and less decisive, with a lower projected maximum, that the warming trend of the mediaeval warm period - and the mediaeval warm period was not known for its industrial use of hydrocarbon fuel.

The Milankovitch cycle and changes in Insolation are driving this slow sinusoidal change. The concept that CO2 (a minority greenhouse gas) is somehow driving this climate change is an extraordinary one. Did Erik the Red and the vikings create the mediaeval warm period by burning fossil fuels? Was the little ice age caused by a 13th century Kyoto accord?

I hope I don't sound contentious or aggressive: I truly just want to do away with this CO2 theory. It's a chimera.

[mmichaels1970]

Would you consider God a fact?

I consider God to be an issue of faith. I believe in Him, He is a fact in my life. But I respect the fact that others may have their doubts. I would never fire someone, deny them tenure, etc. based soley on the fact that they may not share the same beliefs as me.

almost certainly more scientific evidence of anthropogenic climate change than their is for God

"Almost certainly"...seems to be a contradiction of terms. Is it "almost" or is it "certainly". "More scientific evidence"...maybe, I'm not so sure because any opposition to this evidence seems to be squashed. But are you ready to say "Conclusive scientific evidence", or "scientifically proven"? There was a time when there was "more evidence" that the world was flat, but that didn't make it so.

This isn't meant to be a flame, by the way. I will respect your opinion.

[VRWCmember]

Of course anything that goes back earlier than 2 million years is of little value because that is when North and South America joined and we had separation of the Atlantic and Pacific, drastically altering global weather patterns and therefore vegetation respiration.

Not to mention the fact that the instruments for measuring temperatures were not as precise and those cavemen recording the data didn't pay quite as much attention to detail.

[Dick Vomer]

[Einigkeit_Recht_Freiheit]

You are right about the "almost". I agree with your language suggestions to be more accurate. I think I would go with "More scientific evidence".

[Rick.Donaldson]

Earth is doomed to global warming... not due to fossil fuels, but another form of carbon. Carbon dioxide emissions from Liberal Loud Mouths that spout lies and deceit. The planet is doomed if we do not counter act those idiots. (I'm not sure that saying global warming causes people to be gay is the right way to do it, but it is funny)