Posted on 01/08/2007 4:54:07 PM PST by uglybiker
Before Michael Buday married his fiancée, Diana Bijon, he decided to honor her family by bucking tradition and taking her last name. But, it wasn't so easy.
Under California state law, he needed to pay more than $300, go to court, file a petition, and publicly advertise his name change for four weeks in a local newspaper. If he had simply gone along with tradition, it would have cost only $50 to $80.
So Buday, 29, went to court, along with the ACLU, to change the law. They recently announced their plans to sue the California Department of Health Services, which oversees marriage licenses and name changes.
After years of fighting for women's rights, the ACLU is now battling for equal rights for men.
California is one of 44 states with unequal name change laws for people getting married. Right now, only six states — Georgia, Hawaii, Iowa, Massachusetts, New York and North Dakota — explicitly allow a man to change his name through marriage with the same ease as a woman can.
California is not the only state with a high price tag for a groom's name change. In Illinois, a man wishing to take his wife's surname must fork over $246 for a petition and another $150 to publish the change in a newspaper. Connecticut's price is slightly lower, at only $150 for a court petition.
According to the ACLU, the obstacles facing a husband who wishes to adopt his wife's last name violate the equal protection clause provided by the 14th Amendment of the Constitution. "California has the perfect marriage application for the 17th century," said Mark Rosenbaum, legal director of the ACLU of Southern California. "The laws reflect a mind-set that the wife is to be subordinate to the husband."
In California, a surname change for the husband is not even an option during the marriage process. Instead, the man must go through a regular name change process, as if he were changing his first name from Bob to Jim.
When contacted, the California Department of Health Services would not comment on the current state of the law.
"At every junction, the message is 'select the name of the husband,'" Rosenbaum said.
Buday was unavailable for comment, but he was quoted in an ACLU press release as saying, "It's not about the money, it's about the principle of families being able to make their own decisions. Diana's dad has become my father figure, and I want to honor that."
Gloria Allred, a top women's rights attorney in Los Angeles, fully supports the ACLU's efforts.
"In California we have made a deliberate effort to try to remove from state laws and regulations any distinctions or burdens made on gender," she said.
As for Buday's personal decision to adopt his wife's last name, Allred adds that "the point is not if he wishes to change his name, but that he has a right to do it."
Buday, she says, is set apart from most men because "he is secure enough" to take his wife's surname.
Of course civil rights lawyers back Buday, but what would an etiquette coach say?
Jodi Smith, head of Mannersmith etiquette consulting, also backs him.
"I do see this as a gender equality issue," she says. "Now that women are considered 'real' and 'legal' people, last names should be a matter of choice."
Will the male name swap soon become a trend? No data exists on how common the practice is. But many couples in recent years have chosen to combine their last names.
For instance, Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa (born Antonio Villar) and his wife, Corina Raigosa, combined their names when they were married in 1987.
Although Buday must still legally use his "maiden name," the couple reportedly signed their Christmas cards as Mr. and Mrs. Bijon.
On behalf of real men everywhere I demand this guy renounces his manhood.
Amen to that.
I knew a guy whose father had committed some terrible crimes (embezzled money from business partners and such). He decided to adopt his wife's family name. Couldn't blame him.
Damn right!
And how "progressive." {gag!}
So she'll have no name?
In California again.Wow,who would ever thought.....
I third that sentament: Oh and watch Braveheart while you're at it: He's an example of a "real man"..
When I worked in a credit union years ago a man came to the counter and said he was getting a divorce and wanted his wife's name removed from his account. He handed me the divorce papers and I noticed he had taken his wife's last name when they got married. Before I could catch myself I asked him if he want the account returned to his maiden name!!! He turned about 3 shades of the prettiest red you ever saw.
On behalf of real men everywhere I demand this guy renounces his manhood
I think he gave up his guy card years ago.....
Something else for someone to bitch about!
And all the Metrosexuals shout "Fantastic!"
For being such an unmitigated wuss, his wife will divorce him quickly.
Its obvious who wears the pants in the family and it isn't him! What a wuss!
How masculine.
We have already asked our daughters to request that their husbands change their name to theirs. We have a very unusual last name, with less than 20 in the U.S. By some quirk, my FIL has only granddaughters and his brother has only daughters. It would be a shame for the name to die out.
Buday, she says, is set apart from most men because "he is secure enough" to take his wife's surname.Secure enough?? I think the proper description is sufficiently emasculated (or in more common terms, just plain p***y wh***ed).
I spent jury duty once with a woman who's last name was Strange. She wanted to be one of those liberated women with the hyphenated surnames until she married a guy whose last name was Idom. She didn't want to be known as Ms. Strange-Idom.
Seriously, though, if a man had an onerous surname (let's say his parents named him Lee Oswald or Michael Jackson, for example), I honestly wouldn't have a problem with him taking the woman's surname although I'd suspect most men who would do this are actually trying to outrun creditors or some other flim-flam.
Can we make this a manlaw? Do we really need to address this situation?
What say the men of the squared table?
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