You mean...something like this could happen?....Yikes.
Posted on 10/22/2006 10:32:49 PM PDT by Captainpaintball
Question: Where does Chuck Norris write a weekly column?
Answer: Anywhere he wants.
But he has chosen WND as the flagship outlet for his new commentary endeavor – in between keeping the boogeyman awake nights.
Norris, the star of "Walker: Texas Ranger" and some of the biggest action pictures ever, is talking to a new generation these days as part of an Internet craze for one-liners usually labeled not as jokes but as "facts."
Here are some samples:
"Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there."
"They wanted to put Chuck Norris on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't tough enough for Chuck's beard."
"Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink."
"Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming that 'Law & Order' are the names of his left and right legs."
"Chuck Norris sleeps with a night-light because the dark is afraid of him."
"Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas."
"There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live."
"When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the Earth down."
"When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."
(Contribute your favorite Chuck Norris Laughlines in the newest WND Forum -- beginning today.)
********************************************************* Read the rest of the article at the above link: WARNING: The average Chuck Norris article contains so much truth, the average person will experience headaches and intestinal discomfort. It is recommended your average reader seek a doctor's permission before reading His columns. A training program, specifically, is highly recommended for those who consider themselves liberal.
(Excerpt) Read more at worldnetdaily.com ...
Chuck Norris is so "The Man", his columns are being transcribed by laser etching onto gigantic titanium plates to be buried in the desert so future generations can learn His wisdom.
Actually, I saw Chuck Norris's silver-screen appeal as an everyman of sorts. For all his super-feats onscreen or on the canvas he always came across as average-looking average-proportioned bloke.
"Code of Silence" will always be my personal favorite.
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No kidding: people often mistake me for Chuck Norris. I frankly don't see it, but for example a waiter in a Chinese restaurant came up to say that a couple at a table across the room wanted to know if I was Chuck.
So I've always had a soft spot for my doppelganger.
Come to think of it, maybe the resemblance keeps me safe!
One of the things I sometimes find hard to take, is when people I like get a chance to voice their opinions at length in the public. I've lost a lot of respect for some folks I really liked, due to their over-exposure.
I hope Chuck doesn't go soft on some issues. It would be a big disappointment. Otherwise, I'm glad to hear of this.
I always liked what I've seen of him.
I look forward to reading the column.
GO CHUCK!
Why is this here, the MOD must be dozing!
From hearing his book interviews, Norris had a hard upbringing and made it into a positive. He spends some time doing seminars for kids with his "kickstart" program. Not going to knock him.
I think Chuck will be a good addition. I don't care much for WND but the do break stories that don't make it anywhere else.
Maybe the MOD is afraid of offending Chuck Norris! Maybe you should play post police on another thread, if you know what is good for you!!! I am not making any threats here, mind you, I am just making sure you do not want to offend Mr. Norris. As powerful as he is, he is also forgiving. Please, as a fellow Freeper, repent, and make an apology soon, or I fear this may be the last post you make.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
You mean...something like this could happen?....Yikes.
Those are funny.
Well, in the spirit of laissez la bon temps roulez I'll let WND stand (or ???) on it's own. BTW, Chuck is up on current events??
I looked at the sample you posted. It doesn't strike me as particularly amusing, informational, or inspirational. If that is the best he can do, he probably ought to stick to film and TV where his talent is more readily apparent.
Mr. Norris is so powerful, any thread he reads, even if it is just the title and not the text, automatically runs to the top of the page in fear.
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