Posted on 08/28/2006 1:27:11 PM PDT by dighton
[ed. - that chill in the air and wafting scent of Magic Markers can only mean one thing - it's time for America to get its edumakatin' back on! To commemorate this annual rite of passage, I'll be posting a series of skool-themed selections, like this 2005 piece from the iowahawk vault of old crap.]
Dear Parent or Guardian:
On behalf of the faculty, staff, administration, and grief counselors of Rockwood District 603, please let me extend a warm welcome to you and your student for the upcoming 2005-6 school year at Rockwood Public Schools. In the enclosed information packet you will find your student's classroom assignment and schedule, a calendar of important dates, staff contact information, and a handbook of detailed first aid tips. Please read and review carefully. Your cooperation will help insure that your student enjoys an enriching and survivable year of educational opportunities.
As many of you know, the 2004-5 school year was an exciting and challenging period for all of us in the District 603 family. In October we were once again named an "Orange Ribbon District" by the State Secretary of Education, an elite honor reserved for the top 65% of statewide districts where nearly half of all students meet, or approach, minimum reading skills requirements. In November, we all cheered as the Lady Bulldogs once again reached the Substate quarterfinals of the State 6-A Girl's Field Hockey tournament. During the Winter Quarter, we welcomed over 100 new district students with the arrival of the Xenorxian Saucer Beings. And thanks to the passage of the emergency bond issue referendum, in May we began reconstruction of vaporized Wilson Middle School.
The upcoming school year promises to be equally exciting, with fresh opportunities for student learning and growth. My administration has worked hard over the summer to design and implement programs to insure student success toward key goals, with a particular emphasis on intergalactic diversity education. If I can be candid, some parents and students within District 603 have been less than welcoming of our growing Xenorxian immigrant community. Without "pointing fingers," this has too often led to unnecessary incidents of misunderstanding and vaporization.
Pitch perfect.
Hilarious!
LOL
Eye souport publik edekashun two.
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