A Fourth of July Speech by Mark Twain

MR. CHAIRMAN AND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,--I thank you for the compliment which has just been tendered me, and to show my appreciation of it I will not afflict you with many words. It is pleasant to celebrate in this peaceful way, upon this old mother soil, the anniversary of an experiment which was born of war with this same land so long ago, and wrought out to a successful issue by the devotion of our ancestors. It has taken nearly a hundred years to bring the English and Americans into kindly and mutually appreciative relations, but I believe it has been accomplished at last. It was a great step when the two last misunderstandings were settled by arbitration instead of cannon. It is another great step when England adopts our sewing-machines without claiming the invention--as usual. It was another when they imported one of our sleeping-cars the other day. And it warmed my heart more than, I can tell, yesterday, when I witnessed the spectacle of an Englishman, ordering an American sherry cobbler of his own free will and accord--and not only that but with a great brain and a level head reminding the barkeeper not to forget the strawberries. With a common origin, a common language, a common literature, a common religion, and--common drinks, what is longer needful to the cementing of the two nations together in a permanent bond of brotherhood?

This is an age of progress, and ours is a progressive land. A great and glorious land, too--a land which has developed a Washington, a Franklin, a Wm. M. Tweed, a Longfellow, a Motley, a Jay Gould, a Samuel C. Pomeroy, a recent Congress which has never had its equal (in some respects), and a United States Army which conquered sixty Indians in eight months by tiring them out which is much better than uncivilized slaughter, God knows. We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read. And I may observe that we have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain. I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.

I refer with effusion to our railway system, which consents to let us live, though it might do the opposite, being our owners. It only destroyed three thousand and seventy lives last year by collisions, and twenty-seven thousand two hundred and sixty by running over heedless and unnecessary people at crossings. The companies seriously regretted the killing of these thirty thousand people, and went so far as to pay for some of them--voluntarily, of course, for the meanest of us would not claim that we possess a court treacherous enough to enforce a law against a railway company. But, thank Heaven, the railway companies are generally disposed to do the right and kindly thing without--compulsion. I know of an instance which greatly touched me at the time. After an accident the company sent home the remains of a dear distant old relative of mine in a basket, with the remark, "Please state what figure you hold him at--and return the basket." Now there couldn't be anything friendlier than that.

But I must not stand here and brag all night. However, you won't mind a body bragging a little about his country on the Fourth of July. It is a fair and legitimate time to fly the eagle. I will say only one more word of brag--and a hopeful one. It is this. We have a form of government which gives each man a fair chance and no favor. With us no individual is born with a right to look down upon his neighbor and hold him in contempt. Let such of us as are not dukes find our consolation in that. And we may find hope for the future in the fact that as unhappy as is the condition of our political morality to-day, England has risen up out of a far fouler since the days when Charles I. ennobled courtesans and all political place was a matter of bargain and sale. There is hope for us yet.*

Mark Twain's Fourth of July Speech
in Keokuk, Iowa
July 3, 1886

In the summer of July 1886, Samuel Clemens and his family attended a family reunion with his brother Orion Clemens and his mother Jane in Keokuk, Iowa. Keokuk is located about 45 miles north of Clemens's boyhood home in Hannibal, Missouri. While in Keokuk, Clemens was called upon to participate in the local Independence Day celebration with was held on Saturday, July 3. The following report of the festivities appeared in the local newspaper.

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KEOKUK WEEKLY CONSTITUTION
Wednesday, July 7, 1886
THE FOURTH.
How the Day was Celebrated in Keokuk Saturday.
A Large Display of Bunting All Over the City.
An Industrial Parade on Main Street in the Forenoon.
The Exercises at Rand Park in the Afternoon.
Good Music, Able Addresses and Orations.
A Pyrotechnic Display at Rand Park Closes the Day.

Keokuk celebrated the Fourth of July this year on Saturday [July 3], and the occasion was taken advantage of by our home people. The day opened bright and clear, and continued so throughout the day, although the temperature was not as it generally is. Early I the day people began coming in from the neighborhood. Reception committee met the visitors on their arrival at the stations. The public buildings and business houses were decorated, as were quite a number of private residences. Red, white and blue bunting, bearing the inscription "1776 Welcome. 1886" hung across Main street, at Fifth and Seventh, while the street was a mass of flags and bunting along the entire length. The day was

USHERED IN

By the ringing of bells and firing of a salute of thirteen guns at sunrise.

THE INDUSTRIAL PARADE.

The industrial parade formed on Second and Main streets and a few minutes after 11 o'clock moved out Main to Fourteenth and t hence back to Second under direction of W. S. Sample, chief marshal, and Dr. J. C. Hughes, and Chas. F. Riffley, aides.

The procession was witnessed by several thousand of our people. T he shoe department of the Enterprise was represented by the old woman who lived in the shoe, whose numerous progeny appeared from all sides of an enormous shoe. On Fred. Dorr's float were a number of boys and girls eating ice cream.

A display of Japanese day fireworks at Sixth and Main streets wound up the programme for the morning.

AT RAND PARK.

Several thousand people visited our beautiful Rand park during the day. The park was never so attractive as it is now, and the animals and birds have all comfortable quarters. Mark Twain was undoubtedly one of the attractions at the park, ranking well up with the bear. He was attired in an entire suite of white duck, with tall white hat, and on his appearance a murmur of "There he is," passed through the crowd, and people edged up to gt a closer view of the great humorist.

The exercises at the grand stand at the park opened promptly at 2 o'clock with a selection by the Second Regiment band entitled "Robin Adair," with variations, and with cornet solo by Prof. Gus Wittich. Hon. Gibson Browne, president of the day, then called the meeting to order and prayer was offered by Rev. R. C. McIlwain, rector of St. John's Episcopal church. This was followed by music by the Second Regiment band-an overture, "Rivals"--followed by the reading of the Declaration of Independence by Orion Clemens, Esq. The Keokuk Military band then rendered an overture entitled "Brilliant," with saxophone solo by Prof. John Kindig.

Hon. Thomas Hedge, Jr., of Burlington, the orator of the day was then introduced by Mr. Browne and spoke for thirty minutes, delivering one of the best addresses that has been given here on a pubic occasion. At the close he was heartily applauded.

Samuel L. Clemens was then introduced and his appearance was the signal for applause. His remarks were in substance as follows:

"Ladies and gentlemen: I little thought that when the boys woke me with their noise this morning that I should be called upon to add to their noise. But I promise not to keep you long. You have heard all there is to hear on the subject, the evidence is all in and all I have to do is to sum up the evidence and deliver the verdict. You have heard the declaration of independence with its majestic ending, which is worthy to live forever, which has been hurled at the bones of a fossilized monarch, old King George the III, who has been dead these many years, and which will continue to be hurled at him annually as long as this republic lives. You have heard the history of the nation from the first to the last--from the beginning of the revolutionary was, past the days of its great general, Grant, told in eloquent language by the orator of the day. All I have to do is to add the verdict, which is all that can be added, and that is, 'It is a successful day.' I thank the officers of the day that I am enabled to once more stand face to face with the citizens that I met thirty years ago, when I was a citizen of Iowa, and also those of a later generation. In the address to-day, I have not heard much mention made of the progress of these last few years--of the telegraph, telephone, phonograph, and other great inventions. A poet has said, 'Better fifty years of England than all the cycles of Cathay,' but I say 'Better this decade than the 900 years of Methuselah.' There is more done in one year now than Methuselah ever saw in all his life. He was probably asleep all those 900 years. When I was here thirty years ago there were 3,000 people here and they drank 3,000 barrels of whisky a day, and they drank it in public then. I know that the man who makes the last speech on an occasion like this has the best of the other speakers, as he has the last word to say, which falls like a balm on the audience--though this audience has not been bored to-day--and though I can't say that last word, I will do the next best thing I can, and that is to sit down."

Mr. Clemens's remarks were frequently interrupted by laughter at his inimitable manner and the drollery of his utterance, and he closed amid laughter and applause.

The Keokuk Military band then gave a serenade, "Pleasant dreams," after which the audience was dismissed with the benediction by Rev. T. H. Cleland, pastor of the First Westminster Presbyterian church.

THE AMUSEMENTS.

At the conclusion of the exercise at the park, many people returned to Main street, where the climbing of the greased pole, wheelbarrow and sack races and lap race took place, and where some paper balloons were sent up.

The day's entertainment closed with a pyrotechnic display at Rand park at night, which was witnessed by a large concourse of people.

LIBERTY
Mark Twain was asked to contribute to the album of artists' sketches and autograph letters, to be raffled for at the Bartholdi Pedestal Fund Art Loan Exhibition. This response, which accompanied his contribution:

Statue of Liberty You know my weakness for Adam, and you know how I have struggled to get him a monument and failed. Now, it seems to me, here is my chance. What do we care for a statue of liberty when we've got the thing itself in its wildest sublimity? What you want of a monument is to keep you in mind of something you haven't got - something you've lost. Very well; we haven't lost liberty; we've lost Adam.
Another thing: What has liberty done for us? Nothing in particular that I know of. What have we done for her? Everything. We've given her a home, and a good home too. And if she knows anything, she knows it's the first time she ever struck that novelty. She knows that when we took her in she had been a mere tramp for 6,000 years, biblical measure. Yes, and we not only ended her troubles and made things soft for her permanently, but we made her respectable - and that she hadn't ever been before. And now, after we've poured out these Atlantics of benefits upon this aged outcast, lo! and behold you, we are asked to come forward and set up a monument to her! Go to. Let her set up a monument to us if she wants to do the clean thing.

But suppose your statue represented her old, bent, clothed in rags, downcast, shame-faced, with the insults and humiliation of 6,000 years, imploring a crust and all hour's rest for God's sake at our back door? - come, now you're shouting! That's the aspect of her which we need to be reminded of, lest we forget it - not this proposed one, where she's hearty and well-fed, and holds up her head and flourishes her hospitable schooner of flame, and appears to be inviting all the rest of the tramps to come over. O, go to - this is the very insolence of prosperity.

But, on the other hand - look at Adam. What have we done for Adam? Nothing. What has Adam done for us? Everything. He gave us life, he gave us death, he gave us heaven, he gave us hell. These are inestimable privileges - and remember, not one of them should we have had without Adam. Well, then, he ought to have a monument - for Evolution is steadily and surely abolishing him; and we must get up a monument, and be quick about it, or our children's children will grow up ignorant that there ever was an Adam. With trifling alterations, this present statue will answer very well for Adam. You can turn that blanket into an ulster without any trouble; part the hair on one side, or conceal the sex of his head with a fire helmet, and at once he's a man; put a harp and a halo and a palm branch in the left hand to symbolize a part of what Adam did for us, and leave the fire basket just where it is, to symbolize the rest. My friend, the father of life and death and taxes, has been neglected long enough. Shall this infamy be allowed to go on or shall it stop right here?

Is it but a question of finance? Behold the inclosed (paid bank) checks. Use them as freely as they are freely contributed. Heaven knows I would there were a ton of them; I would send them all to you, for my heart is in the sublime work!
- letter circa December 1, 1883

Mark Twain

I confess to having been enthralled by Huckleberry Finn as a child. I read this story countless times over and over until I knew every line and bit of dialogue by heart and could recite whole portions of descriptive prose. As I matured, and entered university, I drew a deeper appreciation of Twain's art. I learned about the river as metaphor and all the other literary devices which so intrigue and beguiled the heart of English literature professors. Now, much later in life, I see that Huckleberry Finn is truly a masterpiece, not because he uses the Mississippi as a literary device much like Melville used the great white whale, but because the story is good on every level. The characters are superbly drawn. The taste and flavor of the Times is impeccable. The story is just downright interesting. The motivations are clear and understandable. It appeals equally to boys and old men as well as to middle-aged English professors. Simply put, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is a literary masterpiece, perhaps the Great American Novel. Finally, Twain's work is so great because it deals with the very essence of America, the American tragedy, the American dilemma: The problem of race and slavery in America.

Yet there is much about Twain and about Twain's life and his philosophy that a conservative should find disquieting. He certainly was not religious in a conventional sense. It is difficult to say whether his politics would fit more closely with those of a new deal Democrat or a modern libertarian. Beyond question he would be no supporter of George Bush today. That's okay, I'm not much of a supporter of George Bush today anymore either. But the real question is would Mark Twain have been a supporter of Ronald Reagan?

I think not.

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