Canada ping!
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Posted on 06/11/2006 8:51:47 AM PDT by Clive
Terror at the CBC
What would happen if our national broadcaster was ever taken over by ... er ... 'militants'?
By Lorrie Goldstein
With news last week that the CBC may have been the planned target of a possible terrorist attack ...
---
"Hello, I'm Lorrie Goldstein of the Toronto Sun, reporting live for Sun TV, Torontosun.com and Canoe.ca, outside Toronto CBC headquarters at 250 Front St. W., where terrorists have just taken over the building, demanding that the CBC refer to them as ... uh ... terrorists.
"Wait, here's one of them now ... why, it's Osama bin Laden himself ... Mr. bin Laden, could we have a word with you please?"
"Of course, unwitting dupe of the illegal Zionist entity."
"Thank you. Mr. bin Laden, I'm sure our audience is wondering why you have taken over the CBC and are threatening to blow it up unless your demands are met."
"Well, duplicitous crusader, we are deeply hurt and offended by the CBC's continuing refusal to describe us as 'terrorists.' Instead, they keep calling us 'militants,' 'extremists,' 'attackers' and 'bombers.' I mean, it's bloody demeaning. Just think of it. I, Osama bin Laden, a 'militant'? Geez Louise, spoiled little rich kids from Rosedale wasting their parents' tuition money on poli-sci courses at university join some obscure Marxist group and start calling themselves 'militants' these days. But I, Osama bin Laden, am a 'terrorist.' I mean, that's certainly what the CIA thinks ... now, anyway."
"I see, Mr. bin Laden. Wait a minute, I've just been handed a bulletin from Sun Media. Mr. bin Laden, it appears the CBC bureau in Ottawa is asking whether you have any women in your group of gun-toting ... uh ... terrorists."
"Why does the CBC want to know this, oh evil defiler of the Muslim holy lands?"
"Apparently, their news staff have been advised by their editor-in-chief that they may substitute the word 'gunmen' for ... uh ... terrorists when describing your group, as long as they can first ascertain that there are no women in your group."
"I see. Tell me something, oh two-faced Rotary Club member plotting to take over the world -- is the CBC insane?"
"A lot of people in this country think so, Mr. bin Laden."
"I see, evil spawn of Satan. So, let me get this straight. We storm the CBC's headquarters, overpower their security staff and are now holding hundreds of their employees hostage and threatening to blow up their building and all these infidels care about is whether there are any women in our group, so they will not be politically incorrect if they refer to us as 'gunmen'?"
"Uh, yes, Mr. bin Laden. That about sums it up."
"I see, scum of the earth. Well, I would have thought it was pretty self-evident that I have no women in my group, since, as even the CBC may have noticed when Afghanistan was under the Taliban, we are not exactly a liberated bunch of guys in touch with our feminine side, who believe in the total equality of women. So yes, you may inform the CBC that there are no women in our group and that they may refer to us as 'gunmen' ... and that when they do, we will blow up their headquarters and kill all the hostages for not describing us as terrorists."
"Thank you Mr. bin Laden, and just to be clear, all the CBC has to do is to start referring to you and your group as 'terrorists' in its newscasts and you'll end this siege and go away?"
"Yes ... well, that and burn every last copy of Hockeyville. I mean, have you seen that show? Boy, and they call me cruel."
"Thank you, Mr. bin Laden."
"Think nothing of it, defiler of Palestine."
-
ping...
When I moved to Ohio from Detroit the ONLY thing i missed about the CBC was Hockey Night in Canada.
I dated two Canadian women and the CBC is about as liberal as the general population, sad to say.
My thoughts exactly. What a crappy network run by lowlife liberals.
Geez. The MSM is so 20th century.
It's GUNPERSONS not GUNMEN!
Canada ping!
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Oh yeah, it would have been a BIG favour.
The CBC is part of the reason WHY so many Canucks are liberal. It's part of the problem.
I for one have it on station block.
You are aware of just how small the Canadian pop. is compared to ours, right?
I get the Montreal stations. The French station ought to run English closed captioning. They have the occasional
watchable movie when the rest of the cable channels are unappealing.
And yes, sports. Heck of a lot better than NBC during the Olympics. They actually show sporting events.
There's also CTV. Corner Gas being one of the better shows.
I used to listen to RCI (CBC on shortwave). The US news sounded like ABC Radio copy. Generally anti-American,
anti-Bush, but at least they brought in the international news that the US networks ignored. I think I heard about
the UN food for sex scandal there, months before there was a peep about it in the US LSM.
Yes ... 30 million vs 300 million. BTW, I am a Canuck.
How could anyone tell?
The CBC is already held hostage by liberal/socialist terrorists.
No doubt Bin Laden and his ilk would find PC very amusing and a sign of utter weakness.
Not true at all. If the general population were as liberal as the CBC the CBC might actually have an audience.
Adrian Clarkson may yet feel the scourge of reality as her burqua is lifted so that all the believers can gaze upon her aging charms, Inshallah.
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