Oh wait, err, that's not a secret.
Posted on 01/19/2006 5:07:04 PM PST by Rennes Templar
You might not be mindful of them when you cut through alleys to get home from work or school.
You might not be thinking about them when you order food in your favorite restaurant.
But rats could be frequenting the same restaurants and walkways you do.
There are an estimated 500,000 of these furry fiends scurrying around the city, according to a city spokesman.
Believe it or not, that's an improvement.
"A few years ago we had 1.5 million rats, and 20 years ago there were 6 or 7 million," said Matt Smith, spokesman for the Department of Streets and Sanitation. "We have done a lot to reduce the rat population, and the city has gotten very serious about this problem."
Extermination experts say numbers are definitely down, but they disagree with city officials about how many rats there are in Chicago.
-snip-
Exterminators and city sanitation officials agree on one thing: "If rats can't feed, they can't breed," Smith said. "If they find a place filled with garbage, dripping grease and loaded with places they can hide or burrow, you're going to be looking at an infestation."
"We feed them abundant sources of food, leave garbage cans open, bird feeders full and pet food dishes out. A rat thrives on a junked-up alley and an overgrown landscape where they can hide."
(Excerpt) Read more at chicagotribune.com ...
If Teddy would leave the Senate chambers, there wouldn't be this problem.
Fooled me, thought it was libs.
There are many two-legged rats, mostly in politics or working for govt. in high places.
"We feed them abundant sources of food, leave garbage cans open, bird feeders full and pet food dishes out. A rat thrives on a junked-up alley and an overgrown landscape where they can hide."
DU made the papers?
Oh wait, err, that's not a secret.
wow
People can sure do some strange things!
That's totally disgusting.... think that rats don't carry disease, huh?
Maybe Wisconsin could just export their stray cats instead of shooting them.
Fred's Muskrat Recipe
Ingredients:
4 Muskrats (all fat and glands removed)
1/2 pound Bacon
1/2 Celery bunch, chopped
4 Onions, chopped
1/2 pound Oleo
1/2 teaspoon Cayenne pepper
Salt
Pepper
21 ounces Tomato soup
Directions:
Saute bacon, celery, onions, oleo and cayenne pepper together for 10 minutes.
Put rats in bottom of a pan you can cover tightly (my mother makes a double batch and uses the roaster she cooks turkey in). Pour sauteed mixture over the rats, and then cover with tomato soup (Don't add water to the soup).
Bake, covered, for 2 1/2 hours at 350 degrees F or until done.
This recipe for Fred's Muskrat serves/makes 4.
http://www.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/628/FredsMuskrat71436.shtml
"Rats??? You wanna know about RATS????"
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That reminds me - I missed lunch.
Linkman: Yes. The Mouse Problem· This week 'The World Around Us' looks at the growing social phenomenon of Mice and Men. What makes a man want to be a mouse.
(Interviewer, Harold Voice, sitting facing a confessor. The confessor is badly lit and is turned away from camera.)
Confessor: (very slowly and painfully) Well it's not a question of wantiing to be a mouse... it just sort of happens to you. All of a sudden you realize... that's what you want to be.
Interviewer: And when did you first notice these... shall we say... tendencies?
Confessor: Well... I was about seventeen and some mates and me went to a party, and, er... we had quite a lot to drink... and then some of the fellows there ... started handing ... cheese around ... and well just out of curiosity 1 tried a bit ... and well that was that.
Interviewer: And what else did these fellows do?
Confessor: Well some of them started dressing up as mice a bit ... and then when they'd got the costumes on they started ... squeaking.
Interviewer: Yes. And was that all?
Confessor: That was all.
Interviewer: And what was your reaction to this?
Confessor: Well I was shocked. But, er... gradually I came to feel that I was more at ease ... with other mice.
(Cut to linkman.)
Linkman: A typical case, whom we shall refer to as Mr A, although his real name is this:
Voice Over: (and CAPTION) ARTHUR JACKSON 32A MILTON AVENUE, HOUNSLOW, MIDDLESEX.
Linkman: What is it that attracts someone like Mr A to this way of life? I have with me a consultant psychiatrist.
(The camera pulls back to reveal the psychiatrist who places in front of himself a notice saying 'The Amazing Kargol And Janet '.)
Kargol: Well, we've just heard a typical case history. I myself have over seven hundred similar histories, all fully documented. Would you care to choose one?
(Janet, dressed in showgirl's outfit, enters and offers Linkman the case histories fanned out like cards, with one more prominent than the others; he picks it out.)
Kargol: (without looking) Mr Arthur Aidridge of Leamington.
Linkman: Well, that's amazing, amazing. Thank you, Janet. (chord; Janet postures and exits) Kargol, speaking as a psychiatrist as opposed to a conjuror...
Kargol: (disappointed) Oh...
Linkman: ... what makes certain men want to be mice?
Kargol: Well, we psychiatrists have found that over 8% of the population will always be mice. I mean, after all, there's something of the mouse in all of us. I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice. (Linkman looks puzzled) I know I have. I mean, most normal adolescents go through a stage of squeaking two or three times a day. Some youngsters on the other hand, are attracted to it by its very illegality. It's like murder - make a thing illegal and it acquires a mystique. (Linkman looks increasingly embarrassed) Look at arson - I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't set fire to some great public building. I know I have. (phone on desk rings; the Linkman picks it up but does not answer it) The only way to bring the crime figures down is to reduce the number of offences - get it out in the open - I know I have,
Linkman: (replacing phone) 'l'he Amazing Kargol And Janet. What a lot of people don't realize is that a mouse, once accepted, can fulfil a very useful role in society. Indeed there are examples throughout history of famous men now known to have been mice.
(Cut to Julius Caesar on beach. He shouts 'Veni Vidi, Vial'. Then he adds a furtive squeak. Napoleon pulls slice of cheese out of jacket and bites into it. Cut to Linkman)
Linkman: And, of course, Hillaire Belloc. But what is the attitude...
(Cut to man in a Viking helmet.)
Viking: ... of the man in the street towards...
Linkman: ... this growing social problem?
(Vox pops films.)
Window Cleaner: Clamp down on them.
Off-screen Voice: How?
Window Cleaner: I'd strangle them.
Stockbroker: Well speaking as a member of the Stock Exchange I would suck their brains out with a straw, sell the widows and orphans and go into South American Zinc.
Man: Yeh I'd, er, stuff sparrows down their throats, er, until the beaks stuck out through the, er, stomach walls.
Accountant: Oh well I'm a chartered accountant, and consequently too boring to be of interest.
Vicar: I feel that these poor unfortunate people should be free to live the lives of their own choice.
Porter: I'd split their nostrils open with a boat hook, I think.
2nd Man: Well I mean, they can't help it, can they? But, er, there's nothing you can do about it. So er, I'd kill 'em.
(Cut to linkman.)
Linkman: Clearly the British public's view is a hostile one.
Voice Over: (and CAPTION) 'HOSTILE'
Linkman: But perhaps this is because so little is generally known of these mice men. We have some film now taken of one of the notorious weekend mouse parties, where these disgusting little perverts meet.
(Cut to exterior house (night). The blinds are drawn so that only shadows of enormous mice can be seen, holding slices of cheese and squeaking.)
Linkman:'s Voice Mr A tells us what actually goes on at these mouse parties.
(Cut to Mr A.)
Mr A: Well first of all you get shown to your own private hole in the skirting board... then you put the mouse skin on... then you scurry into the main room, and perhaps take a run in the wheel.
Linkman: The remainder of this film was taken secretly at one of these mouse parties by a BBC cameraman posing as a vole. As usual we apologize for the poor quality of the film.
(Very, poor quality film, shadowy shapes, the odd mouse glimpsed.)
Mr A's Voice: Well, er, then you steal some cheese, Brie or Camembert, or Cheddar or Gouda, if you're on the harder stuff. You might go and see one of the blue cheese films... there's a big clock in the middle of the room, and about 12.50 you climb up it and then ...eventually, it strikes one... and you all run down.
(Cut to a large matron with apron and cawing knife)
Linkman's Voice: And what's that?
Mr A's Voice: That's the farmer's wife.
(Cut to the linkman at desk.)
Linkman: Perhaps we need to know more of these mice men before we can really judge them. Perhaps not. Anyway, our thirty minutes are up.
(Sound of baa-ing. The linkman looks up in air, looks startled, pulls a gun from under the desk and fires in the air. The body of a sheep falls to the floor.)
Linkman: Goodnight.
Sorry, I thought this was about demo-rats.
It is!
Time to rewatch "Willard".
"Ben" there, done that.
Washington needs some extreme cleaning.
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As rat movies go, this one is pretty darn good. Plus, the lead actress is the always hot Mädchen Amick. She stays dressed, but she's still sexy. |
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