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I understand what you're saying, and I agree with most of it. But I know many people who have done well with grief counseling. I think that "going to a shrink" is a lot different than talking to a counselor about a singular problem like grief. There ARE a lot of feelings to work out and through. I'd be a lot worse off today if it wasn't for the support that I got from others.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who can't rely on their families for support during grief. It used to be that every family had lost a child or two, when infant mortality was so high. So people had a built-in support group in their communities. These days, we have to seek out those with similar experiences to get through the pain.

I guess I object to the "buck up and deal" attitude of some of these posters. It's not that easy!

Thanks for your response, though. I appreciate it.

I agree. I think the problem is the habit of sending "grief counselors" to schools and stuff like that! Or even worse, because they lost an election. All that does is cheapen real grief.

And I understand how irritating the buck up and deal with it attitude can be. And oops! I sounded like one, which is not what I meant.

Seven years ago I lost my wife and my kids their mother. After a two year struggle to beat a brain tumor Mary let it go. Grief counsellors flocked around the kids perpetuating the pain that only they knew too well. They were only too delighted to have this flock of tearful birds shown the door. They mother never squeaked of whined all through the horrors of a glio bastoma at its worst. I am proud to say that they rose above the grief; they are tough kids. Their old man however is a weepy jerk. As an old Irish bartender once said ' Hey, take it out the door! Only suckers beef."