Seven years ago I lost my wife and my kids their mother. After a two year struggle to beat a brain tumor Mary let it go. Grief counsellors flocked around the kids perpetuating the pain that only they knew too well. They were only too delighted to have this flock of tearful birds shown the door. They mother never squeaked of whined all through the horrors of a glio bastoma at its worst. I am proud to say that they rose above the grief; they are tough kids. Their old man however is a weepy jerk. As an old Irish bartender once said ' Hey, take it out the door! Only suckers beef."
First, I'm so sorry about your wife.
There's nothing worse than people (the grief counselors in your case) who insist on someone grieving the "right" way. There is no right way and everyone will deal with it differently. I guess the problem is categorizing all grief counselors in the same way. There are those who force the issues and those who listen and let people grieve in their own ways.
That's been my experience. I guess everyone is different.