Well, (and I say this as a child of a former family therapist) you do have that problem, we can't go back and fix it, so now....how are you going to deal with the reality.
I don't believe you can ever fix the death of a loved one. All you have is your ability to react to it, to weave it into the fabric of your life and make the best of a heart wrenching situation. In fact, I think "grief counseling" may just give people false hope that it can be fixed and everything will be "perfect again." It will always cause pain, but it doesn't have to destroy your life. That is the choice.
That's what I was intending...but it came across a little harsh, huh?
I understand what you're saying, and I agree with most of it. But I know many people who have done well with grief counseling. I think that "going to a shrink" is a lot different than talking to a counselor about a singular problem like grief. There ARE a lot of feelings to work out and through. I'd be a lot worse off today if it wasn't for the support that I got from others.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who can't rely on their families for support during grief. It used to be that every family had lost a child or two, when infant mortality was so high. So people had a built-in support group in their communities. These days, we have to seek out those with similar experiences to get through the pain.
I guess I object to the "buck up and deal" attitude of some of these posters. It's not that easy!
Thanks for your response, though. I appreciate it.